Feeling sad (name related)

kaelarose13 · July 2013

My DH's best friend and his wife welcomes a sweet new baby into the world this morning. While I'm overjoyed for them, I can't help but feel twinges of sadness because they used the name we'd chosen (Thomas, after my uncle who is the most loving sweet man alive). They didn't know that's what we'd chosen and the didn't 'Steal" our name (even though I know nobody can steal a name!), but there's no way we can use it now. We see them very frequently and it'd just be weird. Maybe we'll use it as a middle. Just venting a bit is all

diablesse · July 2013

ahhh...damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Either you broadcast your chosen name early and put up with all the 108765 unwanted opinions or keep it secret and risk someone else close by jumping on the same name before you do.

Sorry.

Curls218 · July 2013

Honestly, the name has a deep meaning for you. I don't see why you can't say to them "I love the name! We actually are planning on using the same name to honor my uncle who we lost" or something like that. I doubt they'd think you were name stealers. I don't think it's weird.

jjkaye · July 2013

Use it! Seriously- Thomas (great name, btw- it's our LO's name as well!) is such a classic name, and it's a family name for you! I'd just reach out, tell them that you love the name and explain that you'd planned on also using it in honor of a family member and it should be fine. I wouldn't be mad if anyone close to me used it shortly after I did- it has meaning for you!

HBirdie · July 2013

Aww, that does suck. I agree with PPs who say to use it anyway, but I know how terribly hard that is. We have two names on our shortlist if we have a boy- Thomas and Nathan. Our best friends recently found out they're pregnant, due 3 months after us, and they just announced they'll be naming him Nathaniel if he's a boy. I guess they didn't know that was on our list, or maybe they don't care. I don't know. Even though in theory it's easy to say "Just do it!", it's not the easiest thing in the world to actually do.

Good luck.

jdebaie · July 2013

Curls218:
Honestly, the name has a deep meaning for you. I don't see why you can't say to them "I love the name! We actually are planning on using the same name to honor my uncle who we lost" or something like that. I doubt they'd think you were name stealers. I don't think it's weird.

I completely agree. I actually come from a family where family members have chosen the same names for their kids. My grandmother and her sister both had boys they named Robert because the name had family significance and those two kids were first cousins!

olga1311 · July 2013

Why can't you use the name now?? Giving up a name you love and that has a deep meaning to you just because someone used it seems a little silly to me. I am pretty sure your son would have met other Thomases in his life. So what if you see them often? Kids come up with nick names for each other an parents often time call their kid by a pet name / nick name. I just don't see why there can't be friends with two similar names?? Our family friends had a daughter names same as me and it was not weird at all

Violet1372 · July 2013

Curls218:
Honestly, the name has a deep meaning for you.nbsp; I don't see why you can't say to them "I love the name!nbsp; We actually are planning on using the same name to honor my uncle who we lost" or something like that.nbsp; I doubt they'd think you were name stealers.nbsp; I don't think it's weird.

This totally. Especially since you guys already choose it before they named their baby Thomas. And at the end of the day when the kids grow up they probably arent going to be spending everyday together to where it would be weird

Jilly82 · July 2013

I think you still need to use it. I can understand your sadness though but the name has a deep meaning to you

Pockety · July 2013

My son's name is Jake. There are a zillion Jakes in his preschool, two out of eight kids in his class. I don't see a problem with kids having the same name even if they hang out all the time.

I have a tight knit group of girlfriends, and we have a few overlapping names. It's no big deal and no one thinks it's strange. People choose names for personal reasons, not to copy another baby.

Babybabybabyohhhhhhh · July 2013

I know it seems weird to use the name now, but I would still use it. You guys love the name, have been set on it, and it has a meaning for you. In sure your friend would understand. And if not that's a little silly.

bookworm982 · July 2013

My bf did this with her daughter who was born a few months before DD. Honestly, I was so bothered by it that I refused to pick a name and we went to delivery with a list of favorites. 12 hours after DD was born, we decided to use the same name. Guess what? It works just fine. We just use the possessive "my" a lot when referring to our babies.

This time around a college roommate and good friend just used the same boy name that we picked. She and I had joked that we'd end up with sons the same age with the same name someday. Well, it's happening. Sigh!

I vote that you stick with the name you love.

Tally879 · July 2013

My best friend and I have the same name. We grew up together and never had an issue. Thomas is a classic name, I'd explain to your friend that you had planned on using that name as well, if they choose Thomas they didn't choose it for it's unique qualities so I think you're okay to use it.

ksf13 · July 2013

That does stink. This is the main reason we decided to announce ours as soon as we found out the gender. I knew/know too many people having girls to risk it haha.

MegStark · July 2013

I say to use the name Thomas. It is a classic name, and I don't think there really needs to be an explanation other than "Oh that's the name we've picked! And I love it!"

normandyn7 · July 2013

I think you should still use it. I love the name Thomas (my dad's name and my baby's middle name). Do you know if they are using a nickname for him or are you guys planning on a nickname (I know my dad's nickname was Tommy growing up)? Like maybe if they are just calling him Thomas you can use Tom or Tommy so it's not exactly the same...if that makes sense lol. But if the name has meaning to you then use it! Just let them know that you had the name picked out. It's not like it's such an uncommon name that it would be weird. But I understand your frustration with the whole situation.

RunningGal900 · July 2013

I'd use it. My MIL and her BFF both named their daughters Katie. And they were born one day a part in the same hospital!

aml8979 · July 2013

Since this is a family name and you didn't know their name at the time of your decision, I would use it!

CutieBean79 · July 2013

I'd still use it too.

SweetPeaK26 · July 2013

Use it. Who cares. In my family we have an uncle and a cousin Joel. Two cousin Paul's, and an uncle and a cousin Joey. And we see eachother ALL. THE. TIME.

If you love a name , use it. Chances are you will come up with different nicknames for each kid anyways.

Want a personalized experience?

Feeling sad (name related)

Re: Feeling sad (name related)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards