Wish we could bedshare

musicalmama5 · July 2013

We bedshared for the first few weeks, but I couldn't stand it because I'm such a light sleeper and LO is pretty noisy and moves a lot in his sleep so I wasn't getting any sleep, and neither was he since I would inadvertently wake him. I thought bedsharing was supposed to get everyone more sleep! Once I moved him into his own crib and then into his own room, we both started sleeping much better at night.

But I miss the snuggles. He doesn't sleep well in my arms or on my chest for naps either. Once in a while he'll fall asleep nursing while we're lying on the couch or early in the morning while I'm still in bed, and I really love it. But I don't actually SLEEP so when it's time for Mommy to sleep, baby's gotta go in his own crib.

I revisited bedsharing early this morning when he woke to nurse and it was a fail. He kept rousing himself and I didn't sleep another wink til I put him back in his crib.

Any other APer's that don't bedshare?

opheliainwaders · July 2013

I'm pretty AP so far, and I don't bedshare DH is a VERY sound sleeper, so I'm not comfortable having DD sleep between us. I, in the other hand, am a light sleeper, and can't do more than doze when she's with me, even just for naps, so the few times I've tried sleeping with her I was just exhausted. She'll often catnap on my chest and in her sling, but at night she sleeps in her bassinet or her crib. In our bed, she sleeps an hour, tops, without waking; swaddled in her crib she sleeps 3, which is bliss!

It's not strictly AP, I guess, but so far it works better for all of us.

TiffanyBerry · July 2013

Same experience for a friend - she really wanted to bedshare, but LO slept better on his own. You do what works best for the family, and if that's *not* bedsharing, that's ok too!

Emerald27 · July 2013

Plenty of AP parents don't bedshare. AP is about attentiveness, meeting your baby's needs lovingly and gently, and treating him as an equal member of the household. If he sleeps better in his own space, then you are being such a great mom in sacrificing bedsharing so that he can get the rest he needs. That's totally AP!

If you're breastfeeding, though, it might be better to keep his crib in your room. Studies have shown that young infants' sleep patterns are much more normal when they are within sensory distance from their mothers...i.e. when he can hear you breathing and shuffling, and you'll have an easier time getting to him for night feedings before he's roused himself too much. Alternatively, if he really needs to be in his own room, you could put a second baby monitor in his room and the receiver in yours, so that he can hear your natural sleeping noises too.

Gwyneddlesliegrace · July 2013

The thing about AP is you are doing what feels right for your family. If LO sleeps better and you do too, I see that as a win win situation.

pixieprincss · July 2013

You are doing what works for your family to thrive. That is great! The good news (or not-so-good-news, depending on perspective) is that the one thing certain about baby sleep habits is that they change. You may find that during the 4-month wakeful you need to switch it up, or maybe during 9-10 months when nighttime sleep disturbances peak because of teething, social development, etc. Keep on going with the flow, and you'll do great! It sounds like you are off to a great start.

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