Friday Feelings?

healz413 · July 2013

I thought I'd give this idea for a post a try since we don't do Weds community checkin anymore and haven't done a Thankful Thursday in a while.

So, how are you feeling today? About life, love, babies/kids, fertility, work, etc.? These can be good or bad or a mix.

healz413 · July 2013

Oops! Just saw ball.and.chain's thread, which I like better but the bump no longer allows me to delete this post!

ball.and.chain · July 2013

We can do both!

I am feeling cranky. I should be 12w pregnant right now and announcing. Also, my original EDD is coming up on July 25th. Booooo.

Seriously people, I did NOT sign up for this.

shelly2314 · July 2013

Both is fine with me!!!

Today is a lazy day. I am definitely thrilled with my life. I have an amazing wife, great family and friends, I love my fur and scale babies.

Work, fertility, and babies are very stressful for me. I am saddened and frustrated. PLus I get to see several prego teens that say...I don't know how that happened it was our first time....AUGH! My parents would love to have grandkids and it is hard to see my mom taking pics with my cousins baby (the 2nd one she's had, two diff baby daddies) That should be us

trisholio · July 2013

I don't know where to start. We have been lucky over the last few months to develop great friendships with wonderful people. We spent Wednesday night with a straight couple that just had a baby, I stole him pretty much the whole night. He is our sperm donor and we have all decided to start TTC again next month.

We have our family reunion/mom's wedding this weekend. It's been raining and half our family isn't showing up. My moms wedding is going to be a *** show. I just might have to share the pictures next week for PIP. Let's hope I survive the weekend with the family, cross your fingers for me.

healz413 · July 2013

ball.and.chain:
We can do both! I am feeling cranky. I should be 12w pregnant right now and announcing. Also, my original EDD is coming up on July 25th. Booooo. Seriously people, I did NOT sign up for this.

I think you are entirely justified in feeling cranky! And a lot more! I'm so sorry you're not 12wks right now. This process sucks so much.

I'm feeling frustrated. I'm frustrated because IVF is on hold probably until at least January because of financial and insurance reasons that I mentioned in TTT. (The one plus of this is that I think I am close to convincing M that we should try at least two more IUIs this fall since we already have 4 vials of sperm purchased and since we have to put IVF on hold).

I'm also frustrated by a clinic visit we had this morning. M wanted a second opinion on her fertility stuff and the timing decisions our clinic and RE had made. She had a great first meeting with an RE, Dr. R, at a highly respected second clinic. So we had a follow-up with Dr. R today after she got M's charts from our RE's office. We were less than impressed today. First, the receptionist asks if I'm going in for moral support. Seriously? This is Toronto; they must have other queer clients. Second, Dr. R made at least 4 mentions of the fact that it was good that we have to put IVF because it will give us a chance to lose weight. The first mention of "high BMIs" and the effect on conception and pregnancy was one thing. But to bring it up several more times and to suggest to use that we should be happy that we have to wait for IVF was ridiculous. Our RE, who knows a lot more about our health than this one does, is not concerned about our weight. Third, Dr. R, when M asked about the timing decisions that had been by our RE, said that really with an IUI timing doesn't matter much, it is all a matter of egg quality. While, it was reassuring to hear that she approved of our RE's decisions around timing, it was disconcerting to hear her take such a relaxed attitude toward timing (it is called a Timed Donor Insemination for a reason!). She said her practice is to inseminate the day of the LH surge or the day after and to inseminate later in the day on the day of an ovidrel trigger shot if a trigger shot is used! This flies in the face of everything I've read and heard about timing and seems to be putting a lot of faith in the lifespan of some frozen sperm.

Anyway, I guess the positive of this is that M and I left feeling better about our plans to stay with our current RE at the other clinic!

ATXmommas · July 2013

Overall, I'm good. I had a huge work related disappointment last week. Kinda a long story, but after I was told that I was selected for the promotion, but before an official offer, executive level staff chose to take the opportunity to demote the person who was hiring for the position and allowed her to move into the position instead. Truly disappointing that their lack of confidence in her has cost me this opportunity. I'm trying to focus on the positive. Plus, she tells me that she is retiring by march, so the opportunity will be available again soon. Still, I was really upset and frustrated. Still am, but am trying to channel more positive energy. After all, I have this little boy to look forward to.

Speaking of little boy, I'm anxious about him too. I am not feeling any strong movements. Sometimes I think I feel him, but it is so quick and fleeting that I'm never quite sure if it is him. Our A/S is on Tuesday and I'm scared that we'll find out something is wrong. I don't know if this is normal FTM stuff or if my first loss is why I'm feeling like this. That experience truly traumatized me.

BC I understand those milestones are hard. Our loss date is 8/27 and I know it will be emotional. Our EDD was on 3/3. Z and I spent the time alone, so we both could feel comfortable feeling whatever we needed to feel.

mollykelley · July 2013

ATXmommas:
Speaking of little boy, I'm anxious about him too. I am not feeling any strong movements. Sometimes I think I feel him, but it is so quick and fleeting that I'm never quite sure if it is him. Our A/S is on Tuesday and I'm scared that we'll find out something is wrong. I don't know if this is normal FTM stuff or if my first loss is why I'm feeling like this. That experience truly traumatized me. BC I understand those milestones are hard. Our loss date is 8/27 and I know it will be emotional. Our EDD was on 3/3. Z and I spent the time alone, so we both could feel comfortable feeling whatever we needed to feel.

This exactly. All of this. And my A/S is also on Tuesday. I'm so nervous. People are telling me I'm not showing enough for 19 weeks, and here I thought I was huge. My transfer date for this IVF was on my EDD of my loss, March 13. It was cathartic for sure.

I'm also bummed in reading about the feelings today of Healz and ball.and.chain. I remember feeling so sad and upset about this whole TTC thing. I didn't go to friends' baby showers and I didn't talk to pregnant people if I could avoid it. I hope you girls know that I heart you tons and wish that we were in the same place right now. I really truly feel for you.

KH826 · July 2013

I have mixed feelings about TTC right now. I am feeling hopeful about my "back to basics" approach this cycle that I posted about on Wednesday, but I am not sure if it is realistic... I have never been one to trust in things to "just happen" or to try more holistic approaches to things, but my wife is and she has convinced me to give it a try and my RE is also supportive... So I just made my first acupuncture appointment for next Thursday, and we have decided not to use the trigger shot this cycle and allow my body to surge on its own and time the IUI around that with OPKs. We will see what happens... My emotions are truly mixed between wanting to be hopeful and managing expectations...

In other news, my relationship with my wife is in a really good place right now. I think TTC has made us closer, and I feel more connected to her recently. It is comforting to know that I can depend on her to always be supportive through this whole process...

ball.and.chain · July 2013

healz413:
ball.and.chain:
We can do both! I am feeling cranky. I should be 12w pregnant right now and announcing. Also, my original EDD is coming up on July 25th. Booooo. Seriously people, I did NOT sign up for this.
I think you are entirely justified in feeling cranky! And a lot more! I'm so sorry you're not 12wks right now. This process sucks so much.

Thanks h. Cranky probably sounds like a weird way to put it, but it's the best way I can describe it. I'm sad and angry but not acutely these days...it just makes me feel kind of bitter, and then I get cranky about how things have gone for us (and how, conversely, they seem to go for other people. Not all other people, of course, but it seems that way sometimes).

I'm sorry your second opinion went badly...though I'm glad it reinforced your commitment to your original RE!

lbugher · July 2013

I'm upset I think I skipped my period this month and I don't know why. I ovulated in June on CD 18, but... AF is nowhere to be seen. I believe something is wrong and I don't like it. I'm on CD 38 now, and I should have started on CD 35. My breasts don't even hurt, and that's usually my biggest tell-tale sign that I'll start my period within a week. But... I tested positive for ovulation! I just don't get it.

I have an RE appointment on the 18th. I'm really hoping he'll look at my irregularity and decide to give me drugs to ensure I actually ovulate and have eggs available for fertilization. I don't really trust that my body is doing what it should be doing. Bah.

I'm going to go and make myself a nice steak dinner and watch Downton Abbey now. Maybe have a glass of red wine. May as well, it's not like I'm pregnant or anything. Sad

ball.and.chain · July 2013

lbugher:
I'm upset I think I skipped my period this month and I don't know why. I ovulated in June on CD 18, but... AF is nowhere to be seen. I believe something is wrong and I don't like it. I'm on CD 38 now, and I should have started on CD 35. My breasts don't even hurt, and that's usually my biggest tell-tale sign that I'll start my period within a week. But... I tested positive for ovulation! I just don't get it.

By tested positive do you mean you had a positive OPK? OPKs only measure a rise in LH, which generally indicates that you WILL ovulate within a certain period of time, but it is possible to have an LH surge and then not ovulate. The only ways you can actually confirm ovulation are a clear temp shift if you are temping/charting or through ultrasounds and/or bloodwork.

Either way, your RE should be able to help you figure out what is going on.

lbugher · July 2013

"By tested positive do you mean you had a positive OPK? OPKs only measure a rise in LH, which generally indicates that you WILL ovulate within a certain period of time, but it is possible to have an LH surge and then not ovulate. The only ways you can actually confirm ovulation are a clear temp shift if you are temping/charting or through ultrasounds and/or bloodwork."

Yeah, I had an LH surge. It's weird though. I surged on CD 15 & 16 with my OPK, then surged on CD 18 & 19 according to my fertility monitor. No AF to be seen. I don't do temp tracking because it's so inaccurate for me. Even if I take it at the same time every morning my reading will vary from 0.1-0.5 degrees every day (probably because the temp in my room varies so much because I'm upstairs facing the east and the sun shines bright and heats my room up to the point of discomfort regardless of how high I crank my AC - and with some mornings less sunny than others, temp changes. BAH!).

Anyway... Yes, I'm going to ask the RE for his opinion. I haven't missed a period in a long time. I think I might be focusing so hard on my cycle that I'm stressing myself out. Self-defeating, yes?

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