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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
Another Ferber help post
Hey, I'm Sara...mostly a lurker on the nest/bump. Only really post when I have a question. It looks like Ferber has been discussed a lot lately so I'm hoping I can get some advice.
Background: DD has been swaddled for naps and bedtime her entire life. Over the past week she has been breaking out of her swaddle at night and will then stay awake for an hour (my assistance is needed to go back to sleep). So it's time to ditch the swaddle obv. I did Ferber with DS 3 years ago and it worked like magic.
Problem: So I decided to give Ferber a go with DD and last night was night 1. I laid her down at 8 pm (her normal time) awake after nursing without a swaddle and she immediately went to sleep. (False sense of accomplishment came over me!) After 45 min she woke up and cried for an hour, during which I did the interval checks. I have the Ferber book and did everything by the book b/c I knew it worked from past experience.
She then cried off and on until 4 am. The longest period she slept during this time was 30 min. I did nurse her at 11 and 2 and changed a wet diaper. Otherwise, my checks were just to lay eyes on her and reassure her for maybe 30 sec at most. Well, by 4 am my nerves were shot and I was done so I brought her to my bed so we could get at least 2 hrs of sleep before big brother was up for the day.
Question: What do I do now?? It was a TOTAL BUST! 
Today she has fallen asleep twice in my arms. The first time I transferred her to her crib, but she woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep. This last time I laid her down in her crib and she has been out about 45 min (no swaddle!). Should I try Ferber again tonight?? I feel like I "ruined it" by bringing her to my bed (side note: she has slept in her crib since day 1 home from the hospital, so it's not like she's used to being in my bed). If she cries less than 7 hours tonight, is that a good enough improvement to continue this method?
Needless to say, I am terrified of what tonight will bring so I am just looking for some encouragement, advice, whatever you've got. DH is overseas right now so I'm on my own for these night-time escapades.
ETA: DD is 7 months old.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Another Ferber help post
I am no expert on these things, but I have done sleep training with both of my kids. Maybe the out of swaddle transition is a little too much for your daughter? We used the magic merlin sleepsuit for my son when he was rolling too much for the swaddle but couldn't sleep without it. I won't say that it cured night wakings by any means, but it did help us to wean him off the swaddle. If you don't want to buy the sleepsuit, you can try putting lo in two pair of pajamas to lessen some of the freedom without the swaddle (obviously make sure the room is cool enough with it being summer and all).
Also, from my experience, Ferber will not work if you are still doing motn feedings. I'm not sure if others have different experience, but we tried to do it and still feed lo once a night and I'm pretty sure it just confused him. He started waking even more. Once we eliminated feedings, his awakenings diminished pretty quickly.
Thanks for the reply! I will look up that sleepsuit, I haven't heard of it before.
When I did Ferber with DS we were still doing motn feedings, just needed to break him of the swaddle/needing to be rocked forever before being laid down. And it did work. He would still wake in the night, I'd nurse him, but I could lay him back down afterwards and he'd go right to sleep without needing assistance.
The only reason I'm doing Ferber with DD is to break the swaddle habit b/c she is fighting the swaddle anyway and that is keeping her awake at night. But I will check into that sleepsuit-thanks!
I say give it another go... But research other options today.. I've heard horrid first night stories combined with amazing second nights.... So maybe?
Also I've read more then one book that focuses on first time fall asleep and then says subsequent night wake ups do whatever it takes... So don't fret even though Ferber is clear that consistency is important other books vary
I debated on putting up a follow up to this.....because I am weak...so very weak when I am sleep deprived. On night 2 (last night) she went down initially without the swaddle and went right to sleep. After 2 hrs she woke up and I started with the intervals as prescribed, but after a couple rounds I was done-just couldn't handle it so brought her to my bed again. She then slept ALL NIGHT, didn't even wake to nurse.
Clearly this is just trading one bad habit for another so I am going back to the drawing board. Tonight she is back in her swaddle and after more research/sleep I will try to figure something out. If she wakes once or twice a night from breaking free of the swaddle that is preferable (right now) to having to console her half the night.
I looked at the magic merlin sleepsuit and the zipadee-zip for transitioning but I'm not really sure they would be worth the price.
Anyone know if swaddling till your kid is a teenager is that big a deal? Cause I'll do anything for sleep!
I think for some kids it's like a lovey or a paci and I would die if I took away los paci! Who knows maybe you can try again in a week or two.. They change so fast sometimes it's just waiting them out!
Thank you so much for this reply! On one hand it gives me hope, on the other ..I'm not the only one who's kid will be swaddled till they go to college! lol
Hopefully she will let me know when she's ready. I don't know why I keep expecting DD to do the same things at the same time DS did. They are so different in every way, why should this be any different?