"No" alternatives.

Whittyone12 · July 2013

I am really trying hard to not tell DS no all the time. I just have a habit of saying no all the time and have trouble coming up with alternatives on the spot. So I am not sure what to say. What do you say in place of no?

CaliVal · July 2013

I use wrong.

pasquant · July 2013

I usually try to say no thank you.
Otherwise it's something along the lines of:
That's the puppy's food not yours
Lets leave the cord in the socket and play with something else
Not in your mouth please

I'm doing my best to reserve the sharp "NO!" For when she's really doing something dangerous so that it doesn't lose its effect

fastcarsandfreedom3319 · July 2013

pasquant:
I usually try to say no thank you. Otherwise it's something along the lines of: That's the puppy's food not yours Lets leave the cord in the socket and play with something else Not in your mouth please I'm doing my best to reserve the sharp "NO!" For when she's really doing something dangerous so that it doesn't lose its effect

We do this too.

Or we say "danger," or "that's bad." I'm trying really hard to use positive affirmations instead of negative.

SpruceGrouse · July 2013

I say leave it, same I used for my dog, my dog looks at me each time confused but it is just my first reaction.

AutumnLeaves2 · July 2013

A daycare that I used to work at said "no thank you" all. effing. day. long. It drove me BSC. Just one of those phrases I can't stand. I mean, I use it when someone offers me a drink and I decline...but I hate it as a disciplinary phrase.
I usually do the whole "we don't touch outlets...lets do this instead" or "don't splash in the cat's water bowl honey, lets go splash in your pool."
If I say her name a certain way, she stops dead in her tracks and looks back...and then does what she was going to do anyways.

gollywollypog · July 2013

I do say no, but I also say "ouchie!" if its some thing that can hurt him and a spitting noise, kind of a "pthuuu " and "yucky! " if he's going for something he shouldn't put in his mouth.

JAO2011 · July 2013

We say uhuh. It took a bit to train ourselves but we are good now. Also, leave it.

But Scout had the best response!!

JayandEmm · July 2013

Make another choice.
No sir.
Dangerous.
That's not a toy.

Mrs. Rohde · July 2013

Scout2005:
"Damn it all to hell, don't do that for the four thousandth mother effing time."

No good?

Well shiit. I say this all the time.
I use no, uh uh, yucky, not for you.

sosoph · July 2013

We use no for dangerous/hurtful things

Otherwise, we day what we DO want them to do. (Here, play with xyz).

Even if you say no in a different way, they're hearing you mention the negative activity. So, In redirection, we just say, do xyz, and they hear a positive activity. It's a good habit to get in to now, looking ahead to the toddler times.

AprilAngie · July 2013

why is it not okay to say "no"?

I mean redirecting at this time is okay too...

or explaining things-- wait till they get older and can start negotiating why they should have something. I'm there NOW with my older kids.

Andreabks · July 2013

"please don't...fill in the blank" or "please stop...."

"that's not a good thing you do" (rarely used, but I find it comes out sometimes)

I try to only use "no" when she's getting into something dangerous like when she's smacking the glass of our china hutch or playing with the fireplace tools.

:knock it off" comes out sometimes too like when she's trying to roll off the changing table

Andreabks · July 2013

SpruceGrouse:
I say leave it, same I used for my dog, my dog looks at me each time confused but it is just my first reaction.

funny! this gets used at our house too. especially when she's trying to get into the dog's water dish.

vic8504 · July 2013

I say No all the time. Terrible mother I know. I also will say something like that is Mama's toy. I do use SIT. lol Normally when I say that she will stop what she's doing and sit down. I also use some distraction like Where is Eeyore or Pocoyo? Go find them and give them kisses.

PurrCrasher · July 2013

We are also trying to limit the use of the word "no". We tend to explain what we do/don't want. If they're trying to get at the record player or something else we don't want them playing with we will tell them "out of bounds" and help them find something else to play with. If they're pulling each others hair or trying to bite someone we say something like "ouch! Biting/hair pulling hurts! Please touch gently" and help them to touch nicely. Toy stealing turns into "Vivian was playing what that first, Samuel. Let's give it back to her nicely" or "Not your turn". You get the idea. Wink

I realize that with a lot of these phrases it's too lengthy for them to necessarily internalize every word but they really seem to fully understand "out of bounds", "ouch" and "gentle". We're finding that consistently using the same phrases is getting us results.

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