Birthday invite etiquette question

piphigirl · July 2013

We have small families: only one sibling each, my sister is not married, and Charlotte has no cousins (yet!). The birthday party guest list is currently us, my parents, FIL and his GF, my sister, and BIL/SIL.

We want to invite some of our friends who know Charlotte. We mainly just want them to come have fun hanging out in my parents yard and eating our food. Gifts are NOT expected!

How do we convey to friends that we just want them to come hang out and that they do not need to get a gift? Invites are already printed with just the basics.

Mrs. Rohde · July 2013

I feel that no matter what you say most people will bring a gift. I'd feel weird showing up to a party with no gift.

ccam · July 2013

I wouldn't include anything with the invite. If they ask you what your LO needs/wants, tell them that gifts are not expected. Most likely they'll still bring something. I would never go to a birthday party empty handed.

bigbootyjudi · July 2013

I think the main consensus on TB is not to mention gifts whatsoever on any invitation; whether it's what kind, whether or not to bring them, etc.

People are going to bring a gift. I would, even if I was told not to.

Manda-Kay · July 2013

bigbootyjudi:
I think the main consensus on TB is not to mention gifts whatsoever on any invitation; whether it's what kind, whether or not to bring them, etc.People are going to bring a gift. I would, even if I was told not to.

All of this.

We were invited to a 1st bday party and the invite indicated the girl had a wish list at TRU. Wtf
If you told me not to buy her a gift, I would anyway.

rMe6411 · July 2013

I also would agree to not mention anything. People will bring gifts regardless of whether you tell them not to.

PaisleyRuth · July 2013

I do not get the whole "I would bring a gift even if I was told not to" thing. Why? Why would you not honor people's expressly stated wishes?

AprilAngie · July 2013

Mrs. Rohde:
I feel that no matter what you say most people will bring a gift. I'd feel weird showing up to a party with no gift.

. This

austenfan919 · July 2013

PaisleyRuth:
I do not get the whole "I would bring a gift even if I was told not to" thing. Why? Why would you not honor people's expressly stated wishes?

The no-gift party I was invited to, I had a gift stashed in the car in case everyone else had brought one anyway. I wanted to honor their wishes, but I didn't want to be the only person who did, I guess. And most people had brought something, so I got mine out of the car.

I said no gifts for DD's party last year (which was really a playdate on a weekday morning) and 2 of the 3 families invited brought something anyway. Then it was awkward to know if she should open them in front of everyone. I didn't want to make the one person who followed instructions feel bad, but I know people like to see their gifts opened.

So I think saying no gifts is kind of pointless, OP. I wish people would follow instructions, but my experience shows they won't. If anyone asks you, say gifts aren't expected, but don't make a general announcement, I guess.

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