August 2012 Moms

Small family.

We have a big family on my side...but all six of my mom's cousins and their kids have always been distant, even when their uncle/my grandpa was in a coma. Only one of them talk to my mom regularly. So, a month or so ago, my mom had a huge talk with them about how things needed to change and they needed to start reciprocating efforts to get together,invitations to things, etc.

Fast forward to the day I send out G's birthday invitations and I get an invitation for my cousin's bridal shower, who got engaged a month ago....and it's on the same day. The one cousin my mom speaks to sends me a PM and says, "Oh girl, you've done it again! We have so and so's shower that day, sorry!"

Her shower is at 3. G's party is at 12. She told me that no one from that side of the family will be coming.

It just makes me sad, I guess. I've always been jealous of big families. I don't speak to my dad and my mom is an only child. SO has tons of family, but they're all in Texas/Mexico.

I just don't want him to grow up feeling like he's missing sonething, like I did...or like he was ignored/not rich enough to hang with our cousins/not part of their family, like I did.

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Re: Small family.

  • So sorry to hear this!! I'm frustrated for you!!!


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  • Aww that's too bad! I hope people at least try making it to part of both!!
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  • That's how we see. Only difference being my hubs has a huge family close but all my family sucks. My dad and his wife live 2 hrs away but her daughter and their family only live 15 min away. Instead of trying to reach out they don't. When my dad and his wife come up they always go to their house. My daughter has her bio's side but none of the call her because only good knows what he is saying about me. His own mother doesn't even call get despite her being on disability again for get brain tumor, it's inoperable. Something you'd think maker her call more. I don't talk to my mother and most of jet family believes her schizophrenic dilutions and won't hey to know me. The ones who do live 2 hrs away and gabber completely conflicting schedules than us.

    Basically we spend a lot of time with my ILs but Nene is old enough to ask about her other family. I don't sugar coat it. I tell her if they can't make time for us I'm not going to cause more hurt by seeing her up for disappointment.
    Yes, it hurts especially when Nene asks about her family tree but I'm not willing to bring drama for the sake of having family around.
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  • Aww I'm sorry.  Because my dad was in the Air Force growing up, even though my mom has a big family, we're not very close so I understand where you're coming from.  I don't really have any advice just some empathy to offer.  

    You could always come to Texas!  We are the best! 

  • I have a tiny family, and so will W. I seriously have less than 10 cousins, and I speak to only 3 or 4 of them. H has a bazillion cousins, but they're all way older and only speak Spanish [H doesn't], and after his dad died they've become distant. Holidays usually consists of maybe 10 people getting together on my side, and about 5 people on H's side.

    Ds will have no sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, or cousins, but we do have friends that have children that we see frequently.
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  • I agree with BP; it's the quality not quantity!

    DH has a teeny family, it's all of 6 people big, and I have a ginormous family. But DHs aunt and cousin are always at functions and two of my sisters are never there. It sucks, but kids don't notice as much as we do.

    I'm sorry you're sad, but Gio would feel loved even if two people were at the party! Try not to worry too much about it.
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  • I don't know anyone from my dad's side of the family because they all live in Greece, or the UK.

    My mom has a huge family. Even when I lived near them, I never saw them. Now I really dont talk to any of them. I don't fit invery well eiwith them.

    The way I see it, if they can't find the time, you're better off without.
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