Deployed daddy. — The Bump
Military Families

Deployed daddy.

Hey everyone just wanted to post something and maybe get some people to talk to or what not. I am currently 11 weeks today and my husband deployed recently. He will be gone for a few months so he won't be able to meet baby until about 2 months. I have been so emotional and just lost because we are eachothers bestfriend and it has been truely rough on each of us. I Moved home to my parents for help until he comes home and it is stressful. Little brother and older sister fighting so me and my pup have been walking a lot and I am going to enroll in water classes. Just needed to vent some stuff and see if anyone else is in my situation. :

 

Edited by moderator. Please don't post so many specific details about deployment dates. 

Re: Deployed daddy.

  • Four years ago, MH left for (out of state training for his deployment) when I was about 20 weeks along.  He deployed, on Mother's Day, when I was about 30 weeks along.  Because of the distance and how early into his deployment he was, we decided not to even try to coordinate his R&R with the deliver (which turned out to be a very good decision on our parts as LO was born 13 days past his EDD!).  MH came home for R&R when LO was two months old and then redeployed when LO was nine months old.

    I won't lie, at times it was hard.  But, having support for you (and your LO) is key.  If you do not have a good support network now, start working on it.  Get out and get involved.  Provide help and assistance to those who are in need as best you can.  When you find a few people you feel you can trust, tell them that you are hoping to have some support down the line.  

    Have you considered hiring a doula?  It is something to think about.  There is an organization that provides free doula services to military wives who qualify.  https://www.operationspecialdelivery.com/index.htm.  

    You can do this!  And, remember, while it is difficult for you and YH, your baby will be too little to know that his/her daddy is not there.  I found comfort in that.  Best of luck! 

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  • I'm in a similar situation, and am feeling about the same as you. My husband decided to join the army a few weeks ago. I'm 26 weeks tomorrow, and am due on September 27th. We were able to delay his going to basic until October 8th, but I'm still stressed out that our baby boy will come late and he will miss the birth. He will be home for about 10 days around Christmas/New Year's and then will be gone for another 4 months for job training, so overall he'll miss the first 6 months of baby's life. This is our first and I'm really nervous about how everything is going to work out. On top of that, my family is not supportive of the decision at all. On the other hand, his family supports the decision but is so wrapped up in his brother's (who is coming back from deployment within the next few days) and his sister's lives because they already have grandchildren that at the moment we can't even get them to respond to a text message about carpooling to welcome home his brother. So, we are kind of on our own at the moment, and like you we are eachother's best friends. I'm excited that he's going to be doing something that he's always wanted to do and that he was able to reserve a job that he is absolutely stoked about, but am really nervous about how it's all going to turn out. You can feel free to private message me if you like.
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  • I'm in the same situation I'm 34 weeks and daddy will be deployed during birth without communication so he won't meet his son until he's 4 months old. It's tough but the way if military life unfortunately! Call me anytime you need if you'd like! 3036389609 I live in colorado and dads base is in Washington so we don't see each other much at all but every 2 months if he's not gone. Good luck and keep yourself busy!
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