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I can see clearly now...

NavyWifeTrivetteNavyWifeTrivette member
in Single Parents

So some of you may recall my post almost a month ago about not being sure if I should give my husband a second chance or not and asking for advice. Well my decision has been made, and it is not going to happen.

I really was hoping it could happen and hoping he had changed and things would be ok. Within the past week he has made it very clear that can't happen. He talked a good game, and he really had me going. He is a master manipulator and he knew how to play on my love for him. Well I started to see his true colors last Thursday, but then last night it all became crystal clear. To sum up a long story I realized that he is all too wiling to jump into bed with another girl, when the going gets tough he gets going instead of fighting for what he wants and "cares" about, he gets too angry too easy, he wants to try to blame everything on me when I did nothing wrong, and he would rather get thrown in jail than work hard to make a better life for himself.

So I told him off. I called him out on all the bull, and told him that I refuse to stand by and be played and treated like this. I told him that my love for him is only ending in heartache for me and I need to now learn how to love myself instead and that I need to focus on me and my baby. So I told him it was over and to go back to following the restraining order.

Then later last night after I had already cut ties with him, I talked to his dad and found out an entire new mess of lies that he had been telling both me and his dad. His dad has decided to disown him and is no longer putting up with his crap. Apparently just since March, he has had the cops called on him at least twice and been to jail at least once, he never stopped drinking, and has really gone off the deep end. Even his dad advised me to walk away and never look back and focus on my son and find me a real man who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated.

So thank you for all of your advice before, and I am very thankful I saw him for who he really is before it was too late. Now I am in the process of finding a pro bono lawyer to handle the divorce and custody for me. I have also been in contact with the local domestic violence group, a local police officer who specializes in domestic violence, and a domestic violence court liaison so I have them all on my side for once it goes to court. They said things are looking very promising for me which is a huge relief. 

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Re: I can see clearly now...

  • inthelostinthelost member
    I'm glad that things are looking positive for you and that you're taking the right steps. You have to do what is best for you and your child espically when it comes to safety. 
    Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103


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  • babymama619babymama619 member
    Glad you saw him for who he really is before you got in too much deeper. Sorry the "idea" is gone, but I'm sure it will make you a happier person in the long run. 

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  • tracy41tracy41 member
    It's really hard to let go of the dreams you had, but it's a good feeling to move forward in your life again. I'm glad you're feeling positive about your direction. Take care of yourself!
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  • Runaway22Runaway22 member

    I'm glad you're able to cut clean ties and move forward. You're doing the right thing for you and you're LO!

    Also, your post title put that song in my head. Thanks a lot Wink 

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  • NavyWifeTrivetteNavyWifeTrivette member
    imageRunaway22:

    I'm glad you're able to cut clean ties and move forward. You're doing the right thing for you and you're LO!

    Also, your post title put that song in my head. Thanks a lot Wink 

    Hahaha you are welcome! I totally didn't realize it until after I had already posted it, it definitely made me smile though which was much needed. I was going to title the post "I can see clearly now...the jerk is gone" but I decided to keep it short haha :) 

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  • inthelostinthelost member
    imageNavyWifeTrivette:
    imageRunaway22:

    I'm glad you're able to cut clean ties and move forward. You're doing the right thing for you and you're LO!

    Also, your post title put that song in my head. Thanks a lot Wink 

    Hahaha you are welcome! I totally didn't realize it until after I had already posted it, it definitely made me smile though which was much needed. I was going to title the post "I can see clearly now...the jerk is gone" but I decided to keep it short haha :) 

    the post title reminded me of the song too! :) 

    Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103


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  • CoIvieCoIvie member
    Good for you!!!
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  • Sherrita82Sherrita82 member
    I'm sorry you are going through all this but glad you are finally taking the steps to move on. Take care of yourself and your LO.
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