Mini Rant

eg214 · June 2013

Is it just me or do pretentious people on TB get nasty when they find out you are actually NOT married and having a child? It's like this forbidden thing to say. >:-X Anyone else have a similar situation?

Runaway22 · June 2013

I haven't noticed personally, but some BMBs are admittedly pretty judgey. Where have you encountered this?

tracy41 · June 2013

I have found that TB default assumption is married and some people get uptight about engaged, dating, and single moms. There are actually a fair number of single moms, or women who were single moms at one point, on the boards.

Sometimes it seems like an actual bias and sometimes it seems like some secret fear that they might end up in the same spot. Where did you encounter it?

inthelost · June 2013

Well it is a public form so you will run across all different kinds of people unfortunately. Some can be very judgmental. I try to ignore those people, I have enough in my own personal life thank you.

pregokat · June 2013

yeah ppl online feel more free to talk *** than to your face, and definately are more judgemental.

I once posted on a parents board about how child support hearings go and got tons and tons of assholes telling me I'm a whore, I should have thought before getting pregnant, I shouldn't be sleeping around, i should have aborted, the child needs to be taken from me and raised by a full family, etc etc etc. people are CRUEL. they didn't even know the background to my story and were making up their own little scenarios

SO this isn't the first time and it wont be the last time that people judge you and come to assumptions about your situation.

** Them.

Do the best you can for you and your child and forget about those people

eg214 · June 2013

Thanks ladies. Hugs to all of you.

It was on a post on one of the boards here. I just made mention that I wanted to cloth diaper and that daddy wouldn't have much of a say about it. One of the ladies questioned me on that and said she hoped it was bc I was the one doing the diapering and not him. Why does that even need to be asked or discussed? I was asking opinions on cloth diapering, not on my personal life.

My BD is around...sorta...but not sure how long he will be. Sometimes easier when he isn't than when he is. Less stress. He's got PTSD and is like parenting another child while I'm pregnant which is just awful. None the less, we aren't married and he lives 800 miles away at the moment so for now...I'm I guess halfway single-ing it.

Runaway22 · June 2013

SStinson1:
It was on a post on one of the boards here. I just made mention that I wanted to cloth diaper and that daddy wouldn't have much of a say about it. One of the ladies questioned me on that and said she hoped it was bc I was the one doing the diapering and not him. Why does that even need to be asked or discussed? I was asking opinions on cloth diapering, not on my personal life.

That's par for the course on these boards. I'd side-eye someone who made a parenting choice without consulting their spouse first. In a family where two parental figures are together, I believe all decisions should be agreed upon. I wouldn't think anyone was judging you for being a single mom in this case.

merrymarie89 · July 2013

It seems only married couples should have children. Which is an ideal situation but life isn't always roses. And just because you're single now, does not mean you'll be single forever and your home will always be a one-parent home.

And if it is, there is always other role models and support in your life like family, friends, co-workers. You would expect other women to be more sympathetic, not judgmental. SMH.

Monkeybird84 · July 2013

That's why I rarely post and generally the few posts I do make are on this board. It seems to me that the ladies who are in situations similar to mine or worse are much more understanding than those who are lucky enough to be in the ideal situation.

Runaway22 · July 2013

I just haven't gotten the harsh judgement for procreating with a douchebag that some of you are talking about. I think if you're selective about the information you share, sort of self-censor, depending on the audience, you'll be fine. Save the BD rants for this board, but don't be afraid of the other boards

bakingkitty · July 2013

Runaway22:
I just haven't gotten the harsh judgement for procreating with a douchebag that some of you are talking about. I think if you're selective about the information you share, sort of self-censor, depending on the audience, you'll be fine. Save the BD rants for this board, but don't be afraid of the other boards

I have to second this opinon. I overshared here and on IG (which was to the benefit of my IRL friends) and now my BMB is up in arms about a few choices that I have made. Be selective on how you share but for the most part they have been supportive.

babymama619 · July 2013

SStinson1:
Thanks ladies. Hugs to all of you.It was on a post on one of the boards here. I just made mention that I wanted to cloth diaper and that daddy wouldn't have much of a say about it. One of the ladies questioned me on that and said she hoped it was bc I was the one doing the diapering and not him. Why does that even need to be asked or discussed? I was asking opinions on cloth diapering, not on my personal life.nbsp;My BD is around...sorta...but not sure how long he will be. Sometimes easier when he isn't than when he is. Less stress. He's got PTSD and is like parenting another child while I'm pregnant which is just awful. None the less, we aren't married and he lives 800 miles away at the moment so for now...I'm I guess halfway singleing it.

Wow, I'd rather be single tgat live with a DB that won't change diapers! Some of these women are pretentious idiots. I just think they need to feel superior here because they not happy with their real life.

eg214 · July 2013

Thanks for the support girls. I don't know how much longer I can hang onto this situation with him. It's just unbearable. I feel alone and I might as well be. The hardest thing in the world is having someone you once loved sitting next to you and acting as if he loves you and wants whats best for you meanwhile makes your life miserable and cause you to doubt everything that's ever happened. This happy time in my life is turning into a hellish ordeal.

I certainly wish I had the strength you all do.

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