Are you going to try for a girl?

janneann1127 · July 2013

Mobile: Are you going to try for a girl?

I know this has been discussed before, but I am so over this question! Yes, we are having another boy. No, my life will not end if I don't have a girl.. I'm actually happy we are having two boys. Seriously, I get asked this question multiple times a day. We planned to have two, and we are stopping at two.

Are any of you getting this question a lot? Any good responses? I just say, "Nope. We're done. This factory is closed."

henderson1026 · July 2013

This is my first, so I'm not getting those. But DH says we are going until we get a boy.

ELauren88 · July 2013

As a FTM, I don't get the "are you going to try for a (opposite sex) next??", question, but I DO get the "are you disappointed?" or "would you rather be having a boy?"

My response is always the same: "Uh, no. Why would I be unhappy/disappointed about my healthy baby girl?" Followed by this look:

Emeraldeyed315 · July 2013

This is my first, so no questions like that...but that would make me so mad! We struggled just to get pregnant this time...we didn't care if she was a he. If we are lucky enough to have more kids, I do not care if they are boys/girls. I would like a big family but the genders don't make a difference to us.

janneann1127 · July 2013

ELauren88:
As a FTM, I don't get the "are you going to try for a (opposite sex) next??", question, but I DO get the "are you disappointed?" or "would you rather be having a boy?"
My response is always the same: "Uh, no. Why would I be unhappy/disappointed about my healthy baby girl?" Followed by this look:

ughhh yes! I remember this from the first time around. Why would I be disappointed??? We tried for 9 months to get pg the first time around, I was just excited that we were finally done trying, lol!

janneann1127 · July 2013

Emeraldeyed315:
This is my first, so no questions like that...but that would make me so mad! We struggled just to get pregnant this time...we didn't care if she was a he. If we are lucky enough to have more kids, I do not care if they are boys/girls. I would like a big family but the genders don't make a difference to us.

Totally. My BFF and her H tried for 2.5 years and just found out they're having a girl. I can't imagine being disappointed after trying for that freaking long. Boys and girls are great in their own ways.

ELauren88 · July 2013

janneann1127:
ELauren88:
As a FTM, I don't get the "are you going to try for a (opposite sex) next??", question, but I DO get the "are you disappointed?" or "would you rather be having a boy?"
My response is always the same: "Uh, no. Why would I be unhappy/disappointed about my healthy baby girl?" Followed by this look:

ughhh yes! I remember this from the first time around. Why would I be disappointed??? We tried for 9 months to get pg the first time around, I was just excited that we were finally done trying, lol!

Exactly! It was hard enough to get this first one to stick! Why don't you worry about your own kid's genitalia!

Mom2bois85 · July 2013

Yes having 2 boys I get this question all the time! It's making me question the fact that I even want a girl? My thoughts right now are I'm happy I still get to be the queen of my castle, I'm surrounded by boys and I couldn't be happier :]

Lovehavinggirls · July 2013

I get this all the time people also constantly ask was your dh sad that you were having another girl. Umm no he is really happy actually and doesn't care as long as the baby is healthy.

laabeja · July 2013

I get the opposite now that we will have a boy and girl. People say things like, "then you don't need to have any more kids!" wtf? What does that have to do with how many kids we have?

BlondieBia21 · July 2013

My FI comes from a large family. His grandma had 5 boys, his mom had 3 boys, then between his uncles and the women and their children, there are 14 boys and 3 girls, all between the ages of 34 and 1. We are having a girl and I constantly hear his cousins/brother poking fun at him about how he got stuck with the girl. It is basically like they make jokes that he is less of a man because he "got stuck" with a girl. It drives me insane!

BellaOso · July 2013

Blah! I get this too, but we are having a 2nd girl.

I have several people who react with disappointment when they ask, "Do you know what it is?" and I say, "Another little girl!" and they say, "Oh, are you going to keep trying for a boy?" or "DH must be disappointed." etc. We actually had someone jokingly suggest we trade with DHs cousin who wanted a girl and is having a boy. Ummmm no.

This is our last too and believe it or not both DH and I were kind of hoping for another girl, although we would have been over the moon with a boy too. We just felt more comfortable with another girl.

I recently started saying, "We are ridiculously happy to be giving DD1 a little sister." and that usually end it. Perhaps saying, "We are excited to get to raise an adorable pair of brothers."

I don't know. That's my two cents, but yes, I'm tired of this too.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

I get this question too. Why do people think the perfect family is one of each child? I don't get it. I am perfectly happy having two little boys!

rissa06 · July 2013

laabeja:
I get the opposite now that we will have a boy and girl. People say things like, "then you don't need to have any more kids!" wtf? What does that have to do with how many kids we have?

i get this as well.

Soleil3 · July 2013

I get the "oh so you can stop now!" Comments when I say this one is a boy. I don't think people can help themselves sometimes lol.

LifetimeOfLove · July 2013

laabeja:
I get the opposite now that we will have a boy and girl. People say things like, "then you don't need to have any more kids!" wtf? What does that have to do with how many kids we have?

I get this too. I also hear, "now you ave the perfect family." So it wouldn't be perfect if this baby was a boy? I can't stand that!

kmichln · July 2013

Yup. I get asked this all the time too. And some "Well you have to try at least once more. How do you know the next one won't be a girl? You really need a girl."

My in laws on the other hand say the opposite "Why would you want a dumbass girl for? Our family doesn't make girls" They literally said that. -_-

menriques · July 2013

I have two daughters already and we aren't finding out what we are having do I get asked a lot if I hope it's a boy. I will be happy with either, but I would love to have a little boy, if not now, some day.

revlaurawittman · July 2013

I get this question all the time! We are having our second boy, and I am so happy about it! I'm pretty sure we won't be trying for a third, at least not any time soon.

caramia582 · July 2013

You so touched on a nerve with me. We are also expecting a second boy and it really annoys me when people ask this. My mother in law makes lots of comments about how I "need a girl"... um, no, I don't "need" a girl. It bugs me that people think our family isn't complete because we don't have a daughter. The thing is I'm not 100% sure we are done so I usually just give a wishy washy answer like, "we will see what happens in the future!" which probably does make it sound like I want to try for a girl, when in reality I'm perfectly happy with my two boys.

smilejenn · July 2013

I have two little boys and am pregnant with our third baby, but we're Team Green. I get similar comments from strangers, but escalated to the next level. Such as "oh I sure hope you are having a girl." It's annoying for sure, especially since I love my two sweet boys. Maybe I could understand where they were coming from if I had two terrors on my hands. lol

But I think parents get similar questions if they have all girls, especially the husbands. I think men take having boys more seriously than women take having girls, we just don't often hear their conversations.

CelticWife · July 2013

I hate those questions. I really do.

Everyone told me that we could stop having kids, since we have one of each. When I announced this pregnancy, everyone immediately said But you already have one of each! You don't need another one!

Really???

MammaBear81 · July 2013

LifetimeOfLove:
laabeja:
I get the opposite now that we will have a boy and girl. People say things like, "then you don't need to have any more kids!" wtf? What does that have to do with how many kids we have?

I get this too. I also hear, "now you ave the perfect family." So it wouldn't be perfect if this baby was a boy? I can't stand that!

I get this all the time, when we feel we are "done" we will know it (and we are after this one). There was no magical number, of boy/girl ratio that is better than any, I could have had 6 of the same sex and been just as happy.

EmR22 · July 2013

People say stupid things. We get it all the time...we have 3 DD and this one is a DS. People assume we were trying until we got a boy. The fact is we wanted 4 kids and this is what we got. I'm almost freaked about having a boy since I'm used to girls. My DH always gets the comments like oh you must be relieved to finally get a boy. He usually responds with something like "yes having a penis will make me love this one more". Usually people get the point.

bdawn8403 · July 2013

No. It's our first and everyone is well aware of my initial disappointment of it being a boy. I just tell them my husband has to try again now. Hopefully it doesn't take another 4 years of ttc.

CitrusSwallowtail · July 2013

I'm the opposite, but with comments that annoy me none the less. I have a DS and we are having a girl this time. I get the "oh, you'll have a perfect family" comments all the time. I am thrilled for a daughter, but would have been equally thrilled for another boy. "Perfect" families come in all shapes and sizes.

Alicia1111 · July 2013

Ahhh drives me crazy! I have a girl and am having another girl..... Most of the comments I get is "is your husband sad he doesn't get a boy" all I say is "no my husband would have a soft ball team if we could afford it".... Our 2 year old is very active so dad has his hands full all ready. If we tired for a 3rd I'd hope for another girl, I wouldn't want a boy to be left out with 2 sisters.

MrsI · July 2013

LifetimeOfLove:
laabeja:
I get the opposite now that we will have a boy and girl. People say things like, "then you don't need to have any more kids!" wtf? What does that have to do with how many kids we have?

I get this too. I also hear, "now you ave the perfect family." So it wouldn't be perfect if this baby was a boy? I can't stand that!

I get that a lot too. It drives me up a wall to think that people actually feel this way. My latest was "ohh so now you'll have a whole family." As if the 3 of us weren't a family before just because we didn't have a son. I really want 4 kids but have AWEFUL pregnancies so I'm not sure I can do this again and we may be done after DS. The thing that makes me the most sad right now is people thinking we are done because we got 1 of each. I'm still holding some hope that I may have another sibset down the road.

kcox123 · July 2013

Ummm yeah. Girl #4 here and people think we "obviously" only went for a 4th in hopes of a boy.

Nope. In our premarital counseling I remember we both said we wanted 4. DH is one of 4 (I am one of three). We are thrilled to have our little women and the next person who tells me they are SORRY to hear this fourth baby is another girl is gonna have something to seriously be sorry about when I am done with them.

People really should think before they speak. I know people just try to make conversation but implying I should be disappointed in my lot of children - F off.

BlueJewelM · July 2013

Meh. I don't really mind.

We are having our second boy and are very happy about it. When people ask if we will "try for a girl" someday I simply say I'm open to having one more child, if my husband agrees to it, and yes, I would be hoping for a girl in my third and final try!

However, I always follow up with the "if it's a third boy then it just means I'm destined to be surrounded by handsome men all my life!"

Keagansmommy · July 2013

I have a similar issue with FIL he told me and dh every time he seen us that we better bit be having a girl. Then when we revealed gender he looked at dh and said "damnit you didn't try hard enough, I said it better not be a girl, they are all dumb bs." I cried for days after that comment. Plus now he doesn't even have enough respect to call her by her name when he had no problem calling DS by name prebirth.

Sorry bout the mini rant. Some people just don't know when to keep comments to them self, especially around pregnant ladies.

kcox123 · July 2013

Reading some of the others, I wanted to add that I wasn't as bothered by these comments even last pregnancy b/c I knew we were going for four and there was a good chance that one of our four would be a boy. But now that I know we are done after this 4th girl, which we are thrilled about, it really really bothers me b/c people flat out say (not just imply) that we must keep trying to give my DH a boy. Like our girls aren't good enough. Like he can't be close with his daughters. And for the record, I didn't care but DH was actually hoping for a girl this time. He ADORES his "little ladies."

It was easier for me to brush off when I figured people's comments would likely be appeased at some point with a boy b/c the odds of having 4 kids of the same gender are not very high. But now that we know I honestly just find it ignorant some of the responses we get. I have literally had MORE THAN ONE PERSON (probably at least half a dozen actually) respond with "I'm sorry" when they learn its a other girl. I have also gotten "Oh no!" Maybe I should say something like "yeah, I should have terminated as soon as I found out right?"

Jerks.

janneann1127 · July 2013

kmichln:
Yup. I get asked this all the time too. And some "Well you have to try at least once more. How do you know the next one won't be a girl? You really need a girl."

My in laws on the other hand say the opposite "Why would you want a dumbass girl for? Our family doesn't make girls" They literally said that. -_-

whoa! They seriously said that?! Wow. Just wow. That is unreal.

janneann1127 · July 2013

Keagansmommy:
I have a similar issue with FIL he told me and dh every time he seen us that we better bit be having a girl. Then when we revealed gender he looked at dh and said "damnit you didn't try hard enough, I said it better not be a girl, they are all dumb bs." I cried for days after that comment. Plus now he doesn't even have enough respect to call her by her name when he had no problem calling DS by name prebirth. Sorry bout the mini rant. Some people just don't know when to keep comments to them self, especially around pregnant ladies.

thats terrible!

I didn't mind the question so much initially but it feels like I get it multiple times a day. It's just mildly annoying.

Want a personalized experience?

Are you going to try for a girl?

Re: Are you going to try for a girl?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards