BTDT moms in agreement with my doc?

OliveMom3 · July 2013

My doc told me yesterday that second time moms are more scared about labor than first time moms because they know what to expect, painwise, etc... I know, odd comment to make, but she's really sweet so I let it slide and withheld the side eye. I'm a ftm.

So BTDT moms, is it true? Are you more nervous about your upcoming labor than you were leading up to your first labor?

mrskeyte9 · July 2013

I'm a FTM but have a lot of friends who have 2 or more kids...they've all said its less nerve racking the 2nd time because they do know what to expect. They know how things will go and what they're in for.

AshleyPT · July 2013

I have been much more nervous this time around. I had a long labor the first time. Started Monday night and delivered Thursday afternoon. Last time, I feel like I could make my own reality since I didn't know anyone who had recently had birth. This time, I have a lot of mom friends and their birth stories get in my head. I'm trying to get back to that incredibly calm and confident place that I was during my first pregnancy.

A37licia · July 2013

I wasn't more scared. I was ready for it. I had more worry with my first because I didn't know what to expect except what I had read. This time, I'm looking forward to it again. It'll be hard work, but I know what the reward is and it's worth it! This will be my third child and second home birth.

caover · July 2013

Ha! I feel like because of my history this doesn't apply to me...but yes, I'm scared?

HeatherMc78 · July 2013

Every pregnancy and birth is different. This is my 3rd pregnancy. When I went in for my second son, I was not scared. I knew what to expect during and after labor. I was amazed the second time around how fast I dialated and how fast he came out. I was anticipating having to push for 2 hours like I did with my first. My second little guy came out in 4 pushes. That was a nice surprise. I am more anxious than scared with 3.

VTFutureMrs · July 2013

Nope not true. I have been very lucky and had two great deliveries, so I think I was more scared with the first.

BabyCampbell312 · July 2013

I'm not scared about labor really. More nervous about planning care for DD and making sure she will be okay while I am away. DH is deployed and may not make it home either, so that causes a little worry. But in regards to labor, I'm more nervous about healing AFTER labor, not labor in general.

starinyte · July 2013

I agree with your doctor.

I was way more terrified with my second, and I am even MORE terrified this time. I think because with my first I didn't really allow myself to focus on anything beside the end product (baby!).

With my second I knew first hand going into it that things can go wrong during birth, and with this one I know that I'll never know what to expect because each birth is different.

You'd think I'd be used to it, but nope.

OliveMom3 · July 2013

Thanks for all your opinions ladies! I'm glad to see both sides of the argument.

katiedonice · July 2013

Nope. I was much more terrified going into my first, especially about the possibility of having a C-section (which I ended up having). I did labor for 16 hours under an un-Godly amount of Pitocin with no progress (long story - won't rehash here) then ended up with unplanned C-section - led to me being terrified I was going to die - either from surgery or the fact that I couldn't breathe I was crying so much - and shaking all the way in to the OR. I am having a RCS, but was just telling a friend today that labor isn't all that bad - not to lie it HURTS A LOT, but all in all, you know why you're there so it keeps it in perspective.

magdalina.h · July 2013

It was true for me for my RCS

Mmamax2 · July 2013

I'm just more scared about having another baby. I'm excited to be able to have a newborn in the house but the thought of having to take care of a newborn and rambunctious 3 year old scares the crap out of me more than being in labor again.

CutieBean79 · July 2013

I'm a little nervous about it going too fast because I have an hour drive to the hospital and DD's labor was relatively quick for a first timer (13 hours from water breaking to birth), but not the pain. I am better off now that I know the feelings than in the "I have no idea what labor will feel like" camp.

missmuffin87 · July 2013

I feel more confident this time. I think giving birth is so empowering. I was so scared last time and then so proud of myself for getting through it. This time I know I can do it and even though I know it will be hell, I also know that I will survive.

abell77 · July 2013

Hmm, yes and no. I was nervous the second time around, but a big part of this was that there were a handful of statistically rare things that happened during my first birth which made things very difficult. So yes, I was nervous. But now that I am expecting #3, and my second birth went really well, I am so much less nervous this time around. The only thing that makes me nervous is the knowledge that each birth is different so you can't really predict what will happen, but other than that I am confident knowing I've done it twice, I can do it again.

Good Luck to you!

LnR70707 · July 2013

I'm more nervous about bleeding out on the table and needing a blood transfusion since I came close the first time, but regular labor? Not anymore than I was the first time, which was really mostly fear of tearing.

tnt7409 · July 2013

No I'm less nervous this time for sure.

michelle7482 · July 2013

Nope! I was nervous as hell the first time but it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. I got the epi and had a great birthing experience and am looking forward to it this time around.

LCass · July 2013

OliveMom3:
My doc told me yesterday that second time moms are more scared about labor than first time moms because they know what to expect, painwise, etc... I know, odd comment to make, but she's really sweet so I let it slide and withheld the side eye. I'm a ftm. So BTDT moms, is it true? Are you more nervous about your upcoming labor than you were leading up to your first labor?

Not really, but I had a very quick and easy l&d the first time around. My biggest worries last time were not recognizing that I was in labour (and I wasn't completely sure, neither was the nurse when I got to the hospital; glad I decided to stay, though, since she was born just 3 hours later) and not being able to last if it took a long time (my only friend who'd already had a baby was in labour for about 28 hours before needing a c-section). This time I'm more confident that I'll recognize the signs, and the chances of having a long labour the second time when my first was so quick are very slim (but I am mentally prepared if it takes longer than last time).

Lbear8 · July 2013

I'm more nervous but I think it's because with DD I had to have a scheduled c/s and this time I'm not sure if I'm going to try for VBAC, so I don't know what to expect

EOB584 · July 2013

I'm not sure I'm more scared about the actual labor this time around. I think I just have more to think about so it makes it a little more stressful. Such as, what will we do with DD - I have several friends to call on to take her if it happens during the day but who do I wake up if I go into labor at 2am? Sometimes it is good to not know what is going to happen but once you've btdt you do think about it all a little more. I guess my only worry about actual labor is that I know my bp dropped super low once my epidural was in and I needed meds to bring it back up - that worries me so I will be over thinking it and probably make myself feel low bp symptoms even if I don't have them.

kje120 · July 2013

I'm just nervous that it won't go as smoothly as it did the first time.

olga1311 · July 2013

I wish I already went through it, at least I would know what to expect. Being FTM I think its way more nerve wracking. I am terrified as birth seems to be this horrible, torturous experience and I can't imagine how I would go through with it. The baby has to come out of course so I am dreading every second of it. I am hoping second time around I won't be as terrified as I'll know what to expect.

JocelynB0911 · July 2013

I think I have come to the reality that a c-section is more than likely going to happen. For awhile that scared the crap out of me but the more I think about it, if I can have a vaginal delivery and baby B stays breech I am scared at how painful the extraction will be. Epidural or not I was told its pretty painful so we'll see.

lovelyophelia · July 2013

I didn't have the labor issue, but I was more nervous the second time around because I had to leave my little guy to have surgery.

2sweetlilgirls · July 2013

I think the first is the worst.

Pockety · July 2013

I'm a STM and am less worried this time. But last time I had a great delivery with an epi that worked perfectly. I tore very badly but survived through it and it wasn't as bad as I had feared; I hope it isn't as bad this time but know I'll get through it if it is.

If I had had a horrible labor and delivery experience, then I'd be more nervous now!!

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