Favoritism

MrsSarahSells · July 2013

My mother in law completely favors my son William named after her dad, and my grandpa over his twin brother Henry named after men in my dads family. It just makes me sick!!!! She always grabs him first, if she has Henry, she passes him off within minuets, and will hold William the rest if the time. I use to think I was just over reacting. She practically ignores Henry! It makes me so mad!!!!!!
Not sure what to do or say to make this change, if it will change! I do t want my little boys to think that she loves one more than the other

Ruthie04 · July 2013

My MIL does this too, although there's not a particular reason. She was watching the boys for me and I came downstairs to find DS1 in the living room by himself while she was playing with DS2 in another room. It was before he could log roll, but his expression when I walked in the room broke my heart. He was like, "Oh hey- I was wondering where everyone was!"

I'm no model of example and I didn't address it. I told DH, who said he'd deal with it if it became a big issue, but they only visit once or twice a year and it's unlikely to be a huge dilemma. I just try to give DS1 extra special attention when she's in town. I'm just crossing my fingers that it gets better before they are old enough to realize what's going on.

Hope things improve for you guys!!

MrsSarahSells · July 2013

Thanks. We are Spending the weekend with them. I plan on just it letting her hold William at all, and make her spend time with Henry. I'm so fed up!!!!!!! I've been playing nice for too long

megs2011 · July 2013

My MIL did this when the girls first came home before she left for 6 months. She favoured DD2 and always called her beautiful and never said ANYTHING about DD1. My girls were both preems and DD1 was still really skinny at that point (alien look still) and DD2 was getting her baby fat so she didn't think DD1 was beautiful. Things have changed and she doesn't seem to play favourites anymore. I haven't paid too much attention because she doesn't come around much though.

ETA: it broke my heart so much that I cried to myself a lot about it and said something to DH. He of course, didn't see/hear it.

MrsSarahSells · July 2013

My husband doesn't notice at all! I have had so many people comment on it.
She always calls William her little pardner and "billy" because that's what her dad was called, when really I've been told he hated to be called that. I'm at the point that I REGRET naming him that. He is also named after my grandpa William, but she never mentions that.
We see them almost on a weekly basis. I'm just fed up!

hayleydeee · July 2013

My good friend clearly favored one of my babies over the other, and she was even vocal about it... saying how much she loved him, and how he was her favorite. It broke my heart.

Finally one day I couldn't handle it anymore. I broke down in tears and told her how painful it was to see, and how much my heart hurt for my other baby. She was SUPER sorry, and had no idea that it was so hurtful. She hasn't said a word since and is very careful to give all my kids attention now.

I think if you approach her about it, but from a place of hurt feelings (not of anger) you might be surprised by the response. Also, I'd probably leave out the possibility of it being connected to their names.

Venti29 · July 2013

My mom is like this with my son.
I'll say something if it gets out of hand.
Daughter is content playing alone, d's isn't. It might just be that my mom likes that my son 'needs her'.

I hope it gets better for you.

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