XP: Q for mom's with LOs in daycare

Hennessy · July 2013

Sorry in advance for the length of this post!

We just started full time day care about a 1 1/2 weeks ago. There's seemingly a big learning curve as we all adjust to this change and there have been a ton of things that we're unhappy with. I'm just trying to figure out if I'm being an over protective mom, or if things will work themselves out as we all settle into this new schedule.

We've had major eating concerns. LO normally has 2 solid meals (stage 2 foods) and 1 bottle during the day. They have been completely unable to get him to take a bottle, so we've started sending extra food "just in case". One day they sent him home having eaten only 1/2 of the food we sent (we send as much as he would normally eat at home). I'm not 100% sure they even try the bottle as getting him to eat the solids is easier.

He barely naps at all... and is a completely overtired, nightmare, when we pick him up. I'm hoping this is just because he's in a new place and is very easily distracted so he doesn't want to sleep (plus, naps at home in the crib are a struggle for us.. so I'm not surprised naps at DC, in a crib, are a problem).

He comes home FILTHY. there's dried food on his face and all over his clothes..... every day. How hard is it to wipe his face and hands after he's fed? He has a bib on, so why is there food on his clothes?

He has had a few scratches etc on his legs... he did just start crawling last week so I suppose this could be "normal"?

I'm just wondering if some of this is normal, new day care transition. Or, if I need to consider finding a new place.

I do know they care for him, they are attentive and they are trying to adjust to his needs. There is a live streaming video feed that we can watch all day so I know he's cared for and not neglected.

Please talk me off a ledge... as we toured a lot of day cares in our area and this one seemed to be the best during our tour.

LoCarb · July 2013

The adjustment pd can take a while. Ask the DCP to change him in clean clothes that you provided. Communication is key.

rjeller32 · July 2013

It is rough at first for everyone to adjust. The daycare teachers have to learn the likes/dislikes of your LO, your LO has to learn how to be without you, and you have to learn how to breathe. No one is going to take care of your child to the exact tee that you want.

The clothes and dirty face, I would say something about. I would actually tell them anything that makes me uncomfortable. Scratches are normal, considering there are probably other babies, and babies love to poke and prod each other.

Remember that you pay them so you can let them know exactly what you don't like. Also remember to be nice about it though, unless it's something really ridiculous. I have seen daycare teachers talk mean to a baby just because they didn't like the mother/father. I have seen them ignored more than the others, and I think it is absolutely childish. But, it can happen.

Nechie122 · July 2013

Like everyone else said, most of this is normal and will ease up with time and as your LO gets older. The infant year was the toughest one for me in terms of worrying about eating, sleeping, etc.

My DD also had a tough time taking a bottle at daycare but it's because she was breastfed and hated bottles in general. And she was a bad eater too. The thing about these babies is ... they won't starve themselves. As long as the DCP is offering food, I wouldn't worry; they can't force him to eat. Same thing with sleeping.

I would ask about the scratches as I see them. It could be innocent like some other kid whose parents are lax with the nail cutting.

I'd also be grossed out about food on his face and hands at the end of the day. They should be washing hands frequently to stop germs from spreading.

Unfortunately, I feel your pain about the clothes. I used to think they didn't put on a bib, but now I know they just weren't as careful as I would have been. Baby food is messy and stains terribly. Just buy some cheap "daycare" clothes in dark colors and save the cute outfits for the weekends. When he starts eating finger foods around age 1, it'll get a lot better.

st.augbride · July 2013

I think the napping issues and eating less are normal. Dd barely naps there (though now is taking a few 30 minute naps there) and certainly eats less since she EBF at home and we only just started solids at home. The things I'd speak up about are making sure they are offering the bottle and giving tips on how to do it to increase the chances of success. I also would have a problem with dried food on the face. The clothes are bound to get dirty. If they are wet from the food, IMO they need to change them, and they should certainly be cleaning LOs face. As for the scratches, I notice that dd comes home with a few too and she isn't even crawling yet. I guess it's bound to happen, but it doesn't happen as often at home.

emberlee3 · July 2013

Sounds pretty normal for just starting out. DS takes a LONG time (weeks to months) to adjust to new situations; DD is pretty easy going. She started daycare at 11 months. I think it was a week or two before she would nap at daycare or take bottles, but since then it's been smooth sailing.

They don't wear bibs in DD's classroom, so sometimes she has food on her clothes. She wears play clothes, and I expect her to get dirty. And she hates having her face wiped, so I don't mind if it's not perfect. She gets a bath every night 'cause life is messy.

But definitely speak up to your DCPs about what you expect. No reason to let it stew.

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