Correct me if I'm wrong.

CLeigh03 · July 2013

Odd family situation:

10 years ago, when DH and I purchased our home his mother gave us a set of 4 antique chairs. We had a table, so only needed the chairs. We've had them in our family since that point, have put effort and money into refinishing them, getting new fabric...etc. I love them and how they have grown with our family.

Fast forward to now, DH's sister is buying her own place with her husband and is going to use the antique table. She is now DEMANDING the chairs - there was no discussion or asking....she said it is non negotiable and that she would be picking them up.

In her mind, it's a set and SHE gets them. In our mind its perfectly even, we have the chairs - she gets the table.

Oh, and of course she is throwing out there that DH has the money to buy new chairs and she has to furnish a whole house....etc (ummm....so did we!) Also, they are on two (very nice) incomes. We are on one income with two kids.

I'm just wondering if I'm seeing this incorrectly. I think she is being completely rude and acting very entitled but please let me know if I'm off. Thank you!

SJandVA · July 2013

Sounds like you are in the right to me.
IF you didn't want them anymore than they should stay in the family. But if they were given to you and you are still using them and love them, they are yours.
She sounds very rude, btw.

lady_tytah · July 2013

Ummmmm....no she's acting entitled, selfish, and needs to have a seat.

JessiP613 · July 2013

SJandVA:
Sounds like you are in the right to me. IF you didn't want them anymore than they should stay in the family. But if they were given to you and you are still using them and love them, they are yours. She sounds very rude, btw.

All of this.

If she truly is demanding to take the chairs she at least needs to buy you a new set that you pick and love. She doesn't just get to leave you chair-less.

CLeigh03 · July 2013

Ok, thank you - I was beginning to wonder if I was the wrong one she was so adamant. Sooooooo - how do I handle? Anyone? HA

rp-chicago-mom · July 2013

Is she older? She sounds like my sister and SIL. No, they were a gift from your MIL meaning they are not hers to give or take.

rp-chicago-mom · July 2013

CLeigh03:
Ok, thank you - I was beginning to wonder if I was the wrong one she was so adamant. Sooooooo - how do I handle? Anyone? HA

Don't let her in? Have DH handle it as she is his sister? What does your MIL say?

CLeigh03 · July 2013

Scout2005:
lady_tytah:
Ummmmm....no she's acting entitled, selfish, and needs to have a seat.
But not in your chairs!

This made my day!

Maybe I could suggest giving us money for how much we put into each chair? But honestly this is SO STUPID! We love these chairs!! She is going to leave our kitchen table chair less? Sure come on by and take it out from under Logan.....Aunt of the year!

lady_tytah · July 2013

Scout2005:
lady_tytah:
Ummmmm....no she's acting entitled, selfish, and needs to have a seat.

But not in your chairs!

Lol...right!

CLeigh03 · July 2013

Scout2005:
CLeigh03:
Ok, thank you I was beginning to wonder if I was the wrong one she was so adamant. Sooooooo how do I handle? Anyone? HA
This is your Hs sister? He needs to tell her no, and don't entertain the conversation beyond that. If she wants to be a baby about it, that's on her.

Yes, this is my H's sister - she is my age. (31)

The antique table and chairs were used by my MIL until she no longer needed them. The worst part about all this? I see MIL siding with her, 100%. They will assume because DH 'makes so much money' he should have to buy new ones.

I feel like I should be chair shopping right now......

SJandVA · July 2013

If it turns out she get the chairs. You could be bishy and spiteful and remove all your fabric you had done. You could say "oh I just love this fabric so I took it off to keep for my new chairs." Haha!
I would make DH handle it.

cedenton · July 2013

They're yours. She's a wench. Buuuuut....is it worth the drama?

If she wants to start a family feud over it, let it go. But, I wouldn't choose to deal with her voluntarily after that. I'd avoid interaction with her at all costs.

rp-chicago-mom · July 2013

Didn't she watch Oprah when she'd have Nate Berkus on? Never use a set together!

klmcguire · July 2013

Scout2005:
Just tell both M and S IL that you are attached to the chairs and not going to be offering them to her. Don't entertain it beyond that. Make sure H doesn't weaken behind your back.

^^^^^^ yes to this!

OH.MY.GOD. I seriously was boiling inside reading this. I would have flipped my shiz and told her.. How about I give you my table and you can find chair to match it, because seeing as I have the chairs and took the time/money to refinish them then I am entitled to the table...

Girl. GIVE ME HER NUMBER. LOL

smile50208 · July 2013

I can see where she is coming from if she doesn't know the whole story. Were there any strings attached when you MIL gave you the chairs? Was there any mention of the table? Any agreement to return the chairs when the table is being used?

I agree that the chairs are yours and she is acting selfish and self righteous. That being said, she may not know that MIL gave them to you out right with no strings attached.

Any option of saying you want the table then to match your chairs?

JulieMarie21 · July 2013

You've refinished then and reupholstered them, they may not even look like the chairs that originally belong with the set.

bottom line: they're yours, don't give them up.

SpruceGrouse · July 2013

CourtneyEPillar:
Scout2005:
Just tell both M and S IL that you are attached to the chairs and not going to be offering them to her. Don't entertain it beyond that. Make sure H doesn't weaken behind your back.
Yep. I feel like I would stand my ground regardless of how much I love the chairs, just because of how ridiculous she's acting. As an adult, you can't throw tantrums to get your way. You have a reasonable discussion and work out a compromise. Her attitude would seal the deal for me. You keep those chairs, C!

Yes, this tantrum is ridiculous. If the money thing comes up, tell them that you had to start from scratch once as well and you have kids and you put work into fixing up the chairs.

latnprincess · July 2013

SJandVA:
If it turns out she get the chairs. You could be bishy and spiteful and remove all your fabric you had done. You could say "oh I just love this fabric so I took it off to keep for my new chairs." Haha! I would make DH handle it.

THIS. TOTALLY. LOL! For real though.. that's just childish on her part. Its the princeple of the matter! They were given to YOU. YOU'VE had them for 10 years. YOU reupholstered them. She's an idiot. Tell your Dh to stand up to her and/or MIL.

CLeigh03 · July 2013

Baker_Bride:
Didn't she watch Oprah when she'd have Nate Berkus on? Never use a set together!

Baker! LOVE you for this.

poppyseed1017 · July 2013

Ha. Haha. Hahahahahahahahahaaaa.

No. Eff that B.

CLeigh03 · July 2013

SJandVA:
If it turns out she get the chairs. You could be bishy and spiteful and remove all your fabric you had done. You could say "oh I just love this fabric so I took it off to keep for my new chairs." Haha! I would make DH handle it.

LOVE.

ashS10309 · July 2013

Scout2005:
Yeah. She's wrong.

And apparently a 5 year old who thinks she can stomp her foot and get her way.

Possession is nine tenths of the law. Sucks to be her.

This exactly!

daniellelovesjacob · July 2013

If they were given to you they are yours. Don't give in. And can we see a picture of them? I am very interested to what they look like.

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