To take a break or not, that is the question...

KH826 · July 2013

Well folks, my period has arrived again. We now have 4 unsuccessful IUIs under our belts. Part of me wants to plow ahead full steam with another medicated IUI cycle, part of me wants to get off the meds and try another natural cycle, and part of me wants to take a month or two off... My wife an I are equally conflicted as to next steps. I have a call into the dr to see what she thinks....

What say you wonderful ladies? Any advice?

lbugher · July 2013

Nuts I'm so sorry to hear that, KH! I haven't even had my first IUI yet so I don't know if I'm qualified to give you advice, but I thought I'd throw my 2 cents in for what it's worth.

My OBGYN told me it usually takes 3-6 tries. You've tried 4 times, so you still have 2 more before doctors might think you have a deeper problem. I've done the research, and I know how much it costs to keep trying... so I know that may not be very comforting. If you're emotionally drained and exhausted by the process, maybe it wouldn't hurt to take a month off. I heard accupuncture helps a lot (I'm going to make an appointment for that myself!) and maybe taking time to relax, do something fun, and take your mind off of it will refresh your spirit and help you with your next round

Hang in there! It will happen - just a matter of time.

healz413 · July 2013

I'm so sorry about your BFN this cylce.

Obviously this is your choice and any of the options you've mentioned are perfectly good ones.

We took a one cycle break after two IUIs because the stress of cycle monitoring and the TWW and the BFNs was really getting to us. It was lovely. I'm so glad we did it. We came back to the third IUI feeling ready to get started again. (To be honest, the clinic quickly got the best of us and it felt like our break hadn't even happened soon after we started again, but I'm so glad that we did take it.)

Are there things you could do or enjoy this summer if you do a cycle or two off? If so, it might be worth it to rejuvenate, re-evaluate, and reconnect.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

shelly2314 · July 2013

After the stress of just trying to get to our TWW, the BFN (after a + on an HPT) was emotionally trying. I didn't think it would be as hard as it was...We are taking this month off b/c our Dr is out of town. It has been great for me to allow my body some time to come off of the stress. We will try again in August and if that doesn't work we will try again in Sept. But after that I might need a break. It just becomes so much stress on my body, mind, my wife, etc. You should do what is best for you. For me, I think allowing my mind to calm will be more beneficial in the long run

AmandaG47 · July 2013

I'm so sorry to hear this, that disappointment is awful. I don't know if I could give direct advice, but I can tell you what we did and why because we considered the same thing. After three failed iui's we were both feeling really stressed and upset. We considered taking the next month off, especially because there were some extra hoops to jump through that month with TTC. My wife did not want to take a month off so we compromised and said we would really focus on being relaxed, changing our mind-set, and trying some new coping strategies (going out more, not focusing on TTC, etc...) and if we started to feel better, we would do an iui that month. It turned out that we both felt better in a few weeks AND her ovulation was a week late which gave us some extra time so we went ahead and did it. That was actually the month we got pregnant. I think being more relaxed was really important for us (not necessarily to get a BFP, but just to feel happier overall). If that would have required a month off to get to that place, then we would have done that.

I wish you peace in whatever decision you guys make Smile

KH826 · July 2013

Thanks,everyone. I appreciate your thoughts/insights.

After a long discussion, I think my wife and I have decided to go ahead with another medicated cycle this month and do back-to-back IUIs with the two remaining vials of sperm that we have left. And we are going to talk to our Dr about triggering later, since we fear that we are not allowing my follicles enough time before we trigger.

CD12 is on a Sunday for me this cycle, so we will do a CD13 u/s instead of CD12 this time, and hopefully that extra day will help us to see slightly more mature follicles at the time of the u/s... And we can monitor at home with OPK to make sure I don't surge earlier, but otherwise perhaps we can wait til CD14 or 15 to trigger...

Those are our thoughts and tentative plan. I left a detailed message at the Dr's office and now I am waiting for another call back.

Thanks again for all of your thoughts and kind words - keep em comin if anyone else has 2 cents to add. I am starting to think that in addition to taking a village to raise a child, it may very well take us a village to conceive one!

mollykelley · July 2013

Hi KH, I'm sorry this is so frustrating. I also was tempted to take a cycle off a few times, and as I came closer to ovulation I decided I didn't want to miss a chance if I had one. It certainly does take a village! Who knew it would be so hard to get pregnant?! I certainly did not.

lbugher · July 2013

mollykelley:
Who knew it would be so hard to get pregnant?! I certainly did not.

No kidding Confused back in my hetero days I was scared to death of getting knocked up. Based on our sex education class you'd think even fooling around would result in a pregnancy! When DP and I talked about having kids together 7 years ago I imagined we'd just do it at home with a vial of sperm and badabing, badaboom, a baby. No one ever told me an egg only lives something like 12 hours, and that sperm may or may not find their way up your uterus, and that the uterus is a hostile environment already for sperm...

And I get why they did that (to keep us from making a mistake when we were far too young) but they also gave us the impression that we could get pregnant anytime, anywhere and have absolutely no trouble.

KH826 · July 2013

Update: I just had a long conversation on the phone with my RE

She told me that she does not support the back-to-back IUIs b/c there is no increased success rate from her research, and she also told me she doesn't think I need the trigger shot anymore and I can wait for my body to feel the eggs are mature enough to release in terms of timing b/c we know that I am ovulating on my own. She also does not think I need the CD12 u/s since she says that she has enough data now on how my body responds to 5mg of Femara, and now she just thinks it is a waiting age to see when I will get pregnant. Since she knows I am paying out of pocket for everything, she wants me to save the $350 that I will save by not having the trigger and not having the u/s and just "go back to basics" with less intervention and see what happens.

So, my wife and I discussed and that is what we are going to do. We trust he RE and have no reason to believe that this is not a reasonable approach. We will save the $350 and see what happens for IUI#5 with just the 5mg of femara and no monitoring and no trigger. If the 5th IUI doesn't work, we will go in and have a face-to-face consult with the RE about next steps.

ATXmommas · July 2013

KH826:
Update: I just had a long conversation on the phone with my RE
She told me that she does not support the back-to-back IUIs b/c there is no increased success rate from her research, and she also told me she doesn't think I need the trigger shot anymore and I can wait for my body to feel the eggs are mature enough to release in terms of timing b/c we know that I am ovulating on my own. She also does not think I need the CD12 u/s since she says that she has enough data now on how my body responds to 5mg of Femara, and now she just thinks it is a waiting age to see when I will get pregnant. Since she knows I am paying out of pocket for everything, she wants me to save the $350 that I will save by not having the trigger and not having the u/s and just "go back to basics" with less intervention and see what happens.
So, my wife and I discussed and that is what we are going to do. We trust he RE and have no reason to believe that this is not a reasonable approach. We will save the $350 and see what happens for IUI#5 with just the 5mg of femara and no monitoring and no trigger. If the 5th IUI doesn't work, we will go in and have a face-to-face consult with the RE about next steps.

I'm really sorry that this IUI wasn't successful. This process is so emotionally taxing and I really feel for you.

For what its worth, the approach your RE wants you to take for your next cycle is exactly what we did after our first two failed IUIs, in which I took 5mg Femara, midcycle U/S, and Ovidrel trigger. I did have a midcycle U/S with IUI #3 on CD15 and that is how I know that my follicles were much larger than with IUI #1 and #2. Two of the next three IUIs resulted in pregnancy.

Someone else mentioned acupuncture. During a couple of my cycles, I used acupuncture to help with both the fertility and the emotional aspect. I can't say for certain whether or not that contributed to my getting pregnant, but those two cycles resulted in pregnancies. Where I live, there is a community acupuncture place that charges on a sliding scale (you pay whatever you want). It was really affordable. Just a FYI in case you're interested.

Despite all the science behind reproductive technology, we're all individuals and we each have to find the right combination that works for us. Wishing you much luck and positive thoughts that you are headed in the right direction.

ball.and.chain · July 2013

It sounds like you already have a plan, but for future reference (in case you need it, which I hope you don't), here's my 2 cents on breaks.

I never did decide, myself, whether they were a good idea or a bad idea. I did take breaks during our IUI process (generally a month/cycle at a time) but they weren't entirely voluntary. I took them because we had a trip planned that would have coincided with an IUI, or because we needed to take some time to pick a new donor, or because we were switching to the RE and needed to go through testing. I was always frustrated by them because it was a month during which I KNEW I wasn't going to get pregnant, and it already seemed like it was taking forever (still taking forever!).

That said, there were certainly benefits to taking them. I could theoretically relax a bit, though I'm not sure I ever really did (I'm better about that now). It took some pressure off, temporarily. It gave me time to make decisions (like picking a new donor or a choosing a new course of action) without being subject to the timing of my cycle. Right now I have to take two cycles off, and I am using it to try to relax a bit, lose some weight/get back into being healthy, and do things I can't necessarily do or are not comfortable doing while pregnant (like painting our front door and shutters).

I'm sorry this cycle didn't work. I hope your new plan with the RE saves you some money AND works for you!

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