Introduction

Twinmommy5 · July 2013

Hi everyone-

I have been lurking around this board for a couple of weeks now and figured I should introduce myself. I had my twin boys at 24 weeks gestation. I was told my cervix was shortening at 22 weeks and was put on modified bed rest. I went to the Dr. the next week and was sent to the hospital right away. I was on hospital bed rest for a week, until they were unable to find Baby A's heart beat. They did an exam and told me that he was in the birth canal and we had to do an emergency c section. Both babies were born on 3/26/13 and both weighed 1lb 7oz. Baby B (Jacob) was diagnosed with a grade 4 brain bleed and passed away 3 days after he was born. Baby A (Noah) was doing terrific for his age and progressed from the vent to the CPAP then to a ram cannula. He was up to 2lbs 4oz. and tolertating all feedings and making progress daily. We were in the NICU for 35 days when he showed that he picked up an infection that shut down his Intestines (NEC). Noah passed away after every attempt at life on his 36th day of life.

I never left the hospital while we were in the NICU. That had become my life. It was the hardest thing in the world to leave the hospital and come home to an empty house after expecting to bring home twins. My heart is so broken. I have had great support from my DH and my family during this tragedy but I feel like they still dont understand the feelings and emotions that come with losing a child. I do feel some comfort knowing that there are people here who know how the emotional roller coaster is. You all seem like such a great group of people, and I am glad I found a group that understands. Just wanted to say hello.

BrittianyM · July 2013

Very sorry for the loss of your two little boys. I wish you didn't have to join this group but we are here to help in any way we can. We will be praying for you and your family. Hugs.

Noethola · July 2013

Sounds like they were both fighters. I am so sorry for your loss. We welcome you with open arms.

shandorfml2 · July 2013

I am so sorry for the loss of your boys Jacob and Noah. Big, big hugs.

PerkyErky · July 2013

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.

TimesInfinity9 · July 2013

I am so sad to hear about the loss of Noah and Jacob. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I'm glad you introduced yourself. Welcome!

angelsnight · July 2013

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Jacob and Noah. I hate that you have to be here, but I am glad you found us. Big hugs to you.

Bayberry12 · July 2013

I am so sorry you have to be here. This a place no mom ever thinks she will need, but you have found the right place. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boys, Jacob and Noah.

I remember leaving the hospital without my daughter, driving home in silence and walking into an empty house that didn't feel like my home anymore.

I won't say it gets easier, but you do learn to live a kind of different life. Again I am so sorry to welcome you here.

Heatherhah · July 2013

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boys Noah and Jacob. Huge hugs!!! We are all here for you if and when you need us.

Heather

ehlersm · July 2013

I am so sorry about Noah and Jacob. I lost my twin boys to IC about a year and a half ago. It is great that you have such a supportive husband and family but you are right about them not understanding all of our feeling and emotions. I found talking to others who had been through the same experience very helpful. Hugs to you!

meli1025 · July 2013

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby boys, Noah and Jacob. I wish you didn't have to be here but you're in a really good place for support. These ladies have been such a tremendous help to me over the past 9 months, everyone is filled with love and support for one another.

People really won't understand your feelings and emotions and you're spot on about the emotional roller coaster this will be. I have found that getting myself into therapy has helped tremendously. Please know that you and DH will grieve differently and that is normal, you may have one good day while he has a bad day and vice versa. Please be gentle with yourself and take the time you need to grieve properly. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

So many ((hugs)).

Dixon813 · July 2013

So very sorry for your loss... sending you and DH many prayers. As a fellow MoM, my babies were born at 23 weeks, if you ever want to talk, PM me... Hugs!

bunnybun4 · July 2013

I am so sorry for your loss of your two precious sons. I am so sorry you have to be here but glad you have found such a great place for support. ((HUGS))

princezjk · July 2013

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boys, Jacob and Noah. I hope you find this board as helpful as I have. (((Hugs)))

lenya_35 · July 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss of your sweet Noah and Jacob. It sounds like they were both fighters. I'm sending hugs your way and I hope you can find some comfort here among this great group.

weddedwife · July 2013

I'm so sorry for the loss of your boys. This was a place of great understanding and support for me in the weeks and months after my son died; I hope it can be for you as well.

Leaving the hospital without my son was the hardest thing I ever had to do. It felt so incredibly wrong. I will never forget that feeling.

JessicaG220 · July 2013

I am so, so sorry for your losses. I cannot even imagine how hard it must be to lose your two babies. Especially after the strong possibility that one of your sons would survive. Welcome to this board. Everyone here is super supportive and we can all relate to your pain in some way. I wish you peace and strength!!!

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