Hi everyone-
I have been lurking around this board for a couple of weeks now and figured I should introduce myself. I had my twin boys at 24 weeks gestation. I was told my cervix was shortening at 22 weeks and was put on modified bed rest. I went to the Dr. the next week and was sent to the hospital right away. I was on hospital bed rest for a week, until they were unable to find Baby A's heart beat. They did an exam and told me that he was in the birth canal and we had to do an emergency c section. Both babies were born on 3/26/13 and both weighed 1lb 7oz. Baby B (Jacob) was diagnosed with a grade 4 brain bleed and passed away 3 days after he was born. Baby A (Noah) was doing terrific for his age and progressed from the vent to the CPAP then to a ram cannula. He was up to 2lbs 4oz. and tolertating all feedings and making progress daily. We were in the NICU for 35 days when he showed that he picked up an infection that shut down his Intestines (NEC). Noah passed away after every attempt at life on his 36th day of life.
I never left the hospital while we were in the NICU. That had become my life. It was the hardest thing in the world to leave the hospital and come home to an empty house after expecting to bring home twins. My heart is so broken. I have had great support from my DH and my family during this tragedy but I feel like they still dont understand the feelings and emotions that come with losing a child. I do feel some comfort knowing that there are people here who know how the emotional roller coaster is. You all seem like such a great group of people, and I am glad I found a group that understands. Just wanted to say hello.
Re: Introduction
Brooke Elizabeth born Feb 17, 2013 grew wings May 9, 2013 @ 11 weeks & 4 days old from SIDS
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
I am so sorry you have to be here. This a place no mom ever thinks she will need, but you have found the right place. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boys, Jacob and Noah.
I remember leaving the hospital without my daughter, driving home in silence and walking into an empty house that didn't feel like my home anymore.
I won't say it gets easier, but you do learn to live a kind of different life. Again I am so sorry to welcome you here.
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boys Noah and Jacob. Huge hugs!!! We are all here for you if and when you need us.
Heather
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby boys, Noah and Jacob. I wish you didn't have to be here but you're in a really good place for support. These ladies have been such a tremendous help to me over the past 9 months, everyone is filled with love and support for one another.
People really won't understand your feelings and emotions and you're spot on about the emotional roller coaster this will be. I have found that getting myself into therapy has helped tremendously. Please know that you and DH will grieve differently and that is normal, you may have one good day while he has a bad day and vice versa. Please be gentle with yourself and take the time you need to grieve properly. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
So many ((hugs)).
BFP#1 - 11/27/09 EDD 8/5/10, DS1 arrived 7/24/10 via emergency c-section.
BFP#2 - 6/18/12 EDD 2/23/13, sweet baby girl born sleeping on 10/4/12 at 19 weeks, 3 days.
BFP #3 - 1/18/13 EDD 10/1/13, natural mc on 2/2/13 at 5 weeks, 4 days.
BFP #4 - 8/29/13 EDD 5/12/14, our sweet rainbow, DS2 born 4/29/14 via c-section
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
Leaving the hospital without my son was the hardest thing I ever had to do. It felt so incredibly wrong. I will never forget that feeling.
Ava's Story

BFP#2 10/18/13 Blighted ovum 11/25/13
BFP #3 1/31/14 EDD 10/18/14 -- It's a GIRL!