School-Aged Children
ppants
member
How do you deal with "people don't think I'm as smart.."
ppants
member
I have b/g twins that will be in 2nd grade this fall. During school, they are in separate classes. Currently, they are in the same summer camp. They were last year also.
DD said last week that the kids at summer camp don't think she's as smart as her brother. She is, of course, a very bright girl. DS is a lot more outspoken, outgoing, and loud. It sounds like they were doing a verbal "quiz" about the gold rush and DS got a lot of the correct answers. I told her that I'm sure the kids know she's smart because she is. I'm at a loss with what else I should say or a way to help. I can't separate them in summer camp. It's not an option since there are only 12 kids. Thoughts?
Wendy
Twins 1/27/06. DS and DD
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Re: How do you deal with "people don't think I'm as smart.."
That's a tough one. I've taught a number of twin siblings over the years, and I almost always notice differences such as you're seeing in your kids. Sometimes there's an actual disparity in their intellectual ability; in other cases, they're about equal, but one appears "smarter" because he/she is more outgoing and more willing to take risks. It can be hard on both twins.
I don't have twins, but I am dealing with a similar problem with my own kids. My youngest is a smart kid, no doubt, but his older sister is in an entirely different league. He is starting to notice and compare, and it's difficult for him at times. She IS smarter than him. On the other hand, she didn't learn to ride a two-wheeler until she was 11, she's far less organized than he is, and she can't carry a tune in a bucket.
So, I'm trying to help him focus on the areas where he excels and where things come naturally to him. I've spent some time talking about Gardiner's theory of multiple intelligences with him this summer, reminding him that there are important areas of intelligence that they don't test for in school but that help people lead happy, successful lives.
I'll look into Gardiner's theory also. Thanks for your insight.
My girls are 21 months apart but my older DD struggles and my younger DD is ahead of her in many ways. They will be in 1st and kindy in the fall. My older DD has ADHD and a speech delay which both has caused her to be behind in some things. We make a big effort to do homework type things with the girls separatly (they read to us one at a time with the door closed so the other can't help). We always talk about the girls are good at different things and highlight their different skills, we talk about how kids develop skills at all different times and use examples such as one child might be really great at math but not so great at reading or great at dance but not so great at bike riding.
My older DD is super out-going while my younger DD is shy in new situations and takes a lot longer to build up the courage to try something new while my older DD is the 1st in line. It brings about challenges in many different ways but we always look for the positive and encourage the girls to try their best regardless and give it 100% and that they will both shine in different things.
My kids are like this as well. If DS wants to learn something, he will attempt something over and over until he figures it out. He can be very persistent. If it doesn't come naturally to DD (which many things do) she won't do it. Period. It's so frustrating!