Baby Showers
Shower for #2?
I am 30 weeks pregnant with #2, a boy. We have an almost 3-yr old daughter. I have hung onto the necessities like gender neutral clothing, bibs, blankets, bottles, breast pump, crib... etc. But am still in need of a new baby bath, bath stuff (wash clothes, shampoo, lotion, etc), clothing, pacifiers... and miscellaneous things. Is it inappropriate to want to have a shower? What is the norm? My sister and SIL want to put together a meet-the-baby shower, which I am totally happy with, I just don't want people to think it's lame or undeserving because it is baby #2.
Thoughts?
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Re: Shower for #2?
The bolded part is irrelevant as to whether it's ok to have a shower.
Have a meet the baby party if you want. People might still buy you some things, but it's your responsibility to buy the stuff...that's why it's irrelevant. A meet the baby party would be nice...just don't register and if you have registered, DO NOT put it on the invite. If people want to bring things, they can. If they don't, they won't. No pressure. Showers imply gifts, and they're to welcome the woman to motherhood. You're already a mother.
You have a three year old already and you want another shower because you need stuff, seriously? I would side ye the hell out of this. I imagine that this is not common in your circle since you have to ask about it here. Don't do it. Have a meet the baby "party", not a shower.
You want another child? Great. it's YOUR responsibility to buy what you need for it.
You should be able to buy all these things yourself. If you can't, well, that's another issue altogether. It's your responsibility to purchase items for your baby; not someone else's. I can't imagine someone telling me they need other people to buy washcloths and shampoo for their new addition, or suggesting people buy these things. Why do other people have to buy your consumables? Do you expect to receive enough shampoo and lotion to last until LO is ready for college or something?
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
My thoughts are that you should go shopping.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
OP, I also just want to address the word "undeserving" that you decided to use.
It sounds like maybe you don't completely understand the nature of a baby shower. No one deserves a baby shower. Not a first time mom. Not a second time mom. Not a woman who has battled infertility for years and suprisingly becomes pregnant on her own.
That is because a shower is a gift. No one deserves a gift, but sometimes people want to give you things because they like you or love you or because it's a Tuesday and they thought of you.
It's the same with a shower. If someone decides to gift you a shower for your second baby-- cool. If not, it's not because they think you don't deserve a shower. They probably just understand that showers-- the gift of them-- are more often than not reserved as something for FTMs. That's all.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
Yup.
My thought is - why do you think it's someone else's responsibility to provide you with these "miscellaneous things"?
I wasn't referring to the other board for you all were great! I was just letting her know that not everyone is rude or against having a second shower.
Really, the only people who aren't against second showers in this post are the tacky and gift grabby people who are having second showers themselves (or would if they are having more than one child). It's the "I'm doing it, so it is completely cool and everyone will love it" type of mentality.
Just because most people agree that second showers are tacky doesn't mean they are being rude. If you ask an opinion on an internet board, you're going to get opinions.
As other ladies have pointed out, not having certain things does not equal entitlement to a shower. As has been repeated on here many times, showers are to welcome a woman to motherhood. You are already a mother. Hence, a traditional shower does not apply here. Honestly, the list of stuff you still need can be acquired for very little money. Go bargain hunting. You'd be surprised how easy it is to get what you need without blowing the bank (not to mention it's, you know, your responsibility to get everything anyway...)
Now, if you've moved to a new location and some people you did not know before this pregnancy want to throw you a small shower, that may be permissible. In this instance, you should not register or invite anybody who was invited to a previous shower. Do consider, however, that even this suggestion is not always accepted.
Wow... people are a little hard around here! lol
I think if you had a boy 3 years ago and you were having another boy, it would be ridiculous to do it! You should have most of the things you need. ( i know 2 people that had the "ballz" to do it! One has a boy that is almost 2, and she is about to have the second baby boy next month, she did a shower and it was empty! She asked for things for both kids! Ridiculous! The other one was H's cousin she had a girl, and 1 year and 3 days later the other one was born, another girl! She also did a baby shower! I didn't go any of them!) -- those are wrong!
Now your case is: you have a little girl already, and you are having a boy this time. I don't see anything wrong about having a shower.
Now, if you plan to have baby #3, don't even think about doing a 3rd baby shower! Keep all the stuff, and then later on do a meet the baby party.
And here comes my standard question...
WHAT DOES THE BABY'S GENITALIA HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING???
So, if this baby also had a vagina, no shower warranted. But PENIS=SHOWER!!! Makes total sense. Either 2nd baby showers are tacky or "every baby deserves to be celebrated". Can't have it both ways just because you're more excited about this baby's genitalia that you would be if it had been the same as the sibling's.
Can I ask what the genitals of the baby have to do with it being okay to have a second baby shower?
OP, second showers are tacky, and you are responsible for buying the items you need for your child. Just because you are missing things you will need is not an excuse to have another shower.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
So...buy the items you need yourself? Why do you feel the need to ask other people to buy them for you by wanting a shower? I am having a boy this time around and am not having a shower. I've had some offers, but I decided that since DD isn't even 2 yet that I don't want to bleed my friends dry when its my responsibility to provide for my offspring.
I got married in 2009, had a baby in 2011, and am having another in 2013. My friends and family have been more than generous. Its time to be a big girl and buy your own schit.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
THIS!!! Stop being rude people..she was asking for advice, not for rude and disrespectful comments.
If you want up celebrate the baby, the baby should be there.
This!
Three ectopic preganacies in left tube in 1999, 2003 and 2004. HSG in 2010 concluded left tube blockage. IUI with femara in 2012 BFN. IVF #1 June 2013, 20 retreived, 14 mature, 12 fertilized via ICSI, one transferred, four frozen, BFN. FET in September 2013 - BFN:( FET #2 April 2014 - BFP!!!!
Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap. As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God,the Maker of all things. <?xml:namespace prefix = o />
Ecclesiastes 11 4:5