Babies: 9 - 12 Months
kimberlybethh
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advice for seperation anxiety
kimberlybethh
member
My dd is 11 months old. Until she was nine months, we could leave her with my parents or a sitter and she would be fine. She also didn't have problem with being held by other people even if she didn't know them that well.Now, when someone besides myself, my husband or the Dcp tries to even hold her she starts screaming. I understand it's a developmental stage many babies go through at this age but I'm looking for any tips from those of you who have/had this problem. What made it better? Worse? How long does this stage typically last? Thanks!!
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Re: advice for seperation anxiety
I don't have any advice but it is normal and will pass. Just keep exposing your LO to different people.
It sucks...we recently visited my family and DD was not letting anyone but her mommy and daddy hold her. It sucks because we don't see them often and they wanna be with her.
My DD is also going to her dayhome part time this week and next as I start work full time on July 8th. The dayhome owner wanted me to send her part time because she said all babies have a hard time and cry a lot when they start. Most of her kids start at the dayhome when they are around a year and she says they adjust after a few days.
It's crazy though...when I go to pick her up, she is so overwhelmed that she busts into tears and screams until I pick her up. .. and I thought she'd be happy to see me, lol.
Popped over from the 12 month board. My DD went through a severe bout of this. It started at about 10 months and peaked at around 13 months. Now DD is much better with it,,,we only have melt downs if she is not feeling well due to teeth.
Things that helped us:
-If you are just visiting someone, I got down on the ground with her and played with her. Sometimes she had to sit in my lap for awhile, and as she felt comfortable, she would get further away from me. With some people and places, it would take several visits before she would get off my lap to play with even me, so don't stress if it doesn't happen the first time. I would still have to be in the room, but she would get over it, I found it would take her less and less time on my lap each time we visited. Now she just automatically start to play.
-We took her to the tot lot at the local mall. She would stick close in the beginning, but then start to venture out on her own to play with the other kids and move away from us (still within sight of course). It took less time each time for her to part from us and go and play. And each time she moved away from us and had fun, it built her confidence up a little more.
-If you have to leave, make it short and sweet. "Bye, honey...mommy is going to work. I'll see you this afternoon when I am done." And then leave. The longer you draw out the goodbye, the harder it is on them. And if you just sneak out, they panic when they can't find you. And if your babysitter has some distraction ready for when you leave: snacks, a favorite toy or dvd, etc. it helps some.
-Overall, if you are there, don't force her to go to anyone...just let her do it on her own when she is ready. All of a sudden she wouldn't go to my inlaws. We just kept regularly visiting them and when she was ready and trusted them, she started to go to them. Now she runs right over to them when we enter their house.
As a mom who went through a severe case of it, I just want you to know it will end! It takes time, but they do get through it! My DD who would cling to me at all costs is now literally saying "hi' to random people on our walks and doesn't have a problem leaving me anymore. Hang in there!
7lbs 13oz 20 inches long