Annoyed by friends insensitivity

amd1982 · July 2013

Just a quick vent. Hope that's ok. A couple that dh and I are friends with are ttc. She came to me asking questions since she hasn't gotten her period in a few months since coming of BC. I discussed a little with her since I had the same issue. However I mentioned that she may want to cut down a tiny bit on working out. Not all together because its healthy. But she legit has no body fat. Is a size 00. Does crossfit and runs marathons and kills herself day in and out so I just mentioned it since sometimes it can help. She didn't like that so I decided to just keep my opinions to myself and not rock the boat.

Fast forward to a few days before we head out for dinner together and she mentions her OB has her in unmonitored clomid to see if she ovulates and gets her period. Then she proceeds to get giddy all throughout dinner about how she can just tell she's going to have twins too and how fun it will be etc etc. I just got annoyed. Does she really think that twins are a walk in the park? I just felt like she was being ignorant and insensitive especially since she's only been trying for maybe six months and dh and I tried for eighteen before getting pg. not that eighteen is even long in comparison to others. It just sucked and made me annoyed. I feel bad it's not happening right away for her but just felt like being irresponsible with fertility drugs and hoping for twins wasa crappy dinner conversation. Thx for listening.

TJ1979 · July 2013

I agree that being irresponsible with fertility drugs and hoping for multiples is extremely risky and ill advised. But she also doesn't sound like the type of person who would really listen to you if you told her that. If she was a really good friend, I would call her and say that I had been thinking about it and was worries about her being on clomid unmonitored, that's how you end up with a reality show. Maybe recommend your RE. Then I would step back. I wouldn't want to spend time with someone who made me feel bad or uncomfortable.
But I also wouldn't want to trivialize her struggle. 6 months isn't long compared to you, but it's not a contest. She could be acting that way to hide her true feelings.

mcgeeva · July 2013

Well I can't say I ever would want twins because it scares the cr@p out of me! So more power to you sister! Since this is her 1st cycle on clomid she is still new when it comes to fertility treatments and maybe doesn't understand the inpact of having multiples or going through months of medicated, depressing defeated cycles. She may be insensitive now but maybe she will understand in a few months if the clomid doesn't work. And you know what..if she ends up with multiples and wants to pull her hair out, just smile and say it's not as easy as it looks huh. That's all I got!

kmc84 · July 2013

TJ1979:
I agree that being irresponsible with fertility drugs and hoping for multiples is extremely risky and ill advised. But she also doesn't sound like the type of person who would really listen to you if you told her that. If she was a really good friend, I would call her and say that I had been thinking about it and was worries about her being on clomid unmonitored, that's how you end up with a reality show. Maybe recommend your RE. Then I would step back. I wouldn't want to spend time with someone who made me feel bad or uncomfortable.
But I also wouldn't want to trivialize her struggle. 6 months isn't long compared to you, but it's not a contest. She could be acting that way to hide her true feelings.

Ditto!
Sorry she isn't more receptive.

Mrs.AmyDylan · July 2013

I'm sorry your friend is being annoying. IF is hard and no one ever wants to examine their own behavior to see if they are a contributing factor (working out to excess, work travel schedules, diet). Our society is all about a quick fix and OBs handing out clomid like candy doesn't help.

When we made the decision to transfer two embies, we were prepared to welcome twins. Our RE gave us a journal print our of one of their patients who transferred two and ended up with three (like LuvWI and Ilovekatespade) and told us to think really hard about multiples. I hope everything goes okay for your friend. I second PPs suggestion to give her your REs info.

Dragonfly1226 · July 2013

This would annoy the hell out of me! First the giddy "OMG I am just going to. Pop some Clomid without any monitoring and get pregnant right away" attitude would rub me the wrong way. Then the twin comment would put me over the edge. I wouldn't wish IF on anyone so I hope she does get pregnant quickly. You know if she does she is going to go on and on about how she struggled and can totally relate to you though. If/when she does, vent away over here.

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