We decided: OAD.

OceanBreeze1 · July 2013

DH left the "final" decision up to me, but he was more in the OAD camp. So, we are officially done TTC.

He took his first RA meds last night, so hopefully he'll start feeling some pain relief in the next few weeks. And, if for some reason we decide that our family isn't complete next year, he can go off the meds for 3 months and then we can try again. But I don't really see that happening.

I'm a little sad, but mostly relieved. I really wanted to get KTFU on our own, and when that didn't happen I kind of just backed off from wanting to go through it all again (even though my journey was nothing compared to so many others').

I also really enjoy DD being the center of my world. I didn't have that growing up (single mom, got preg when she was 19, I was shipped off to relatives, etc.) so I really want DD to have me at all her events, by her side, and having her know that she's got my full attention. I know she wouldn't feel any less loved if we had another kid, but I'm OK with her being an only.

Thanks so much for all the thoughts and words of wisdom from you ladies while I was trying to sort out my feelings the past couple weeks! It was greatly appreciated, and meant more than you realize. {{hugs all around!}}

Saraevh · July 2013

I'm glad you guys were able to come to a decision and I hope your husband starts feeling better soon!

OceanBreeze1 · July 2013

chiwifey:
I'm so happy you were able to make a decision and feel good about it. Not knowing how you want to move forward can be some of the toughest times. I loved your sweet words about being by your DD's side. It gave me happy tears and you seem like such a wonderful mama. It sounds like you are in a good place and your sweet family is just as it should be. So happy for you!

Aw, you are so sweet -- thank you SO much! I have to admit, I am getting a little sad reading about everyone who is pg -- just because it is such a miracle and was such a sweet, happy time for me (minus the uncomfortableness, lol). And I'm sure I'll have more days like that.

But when I held my cousin's newborn last month, I wasn't all like, Must. Have. Baby. Again. I was more like, "Glad we're past that stage...oh, wait, lol." So I'm pretty hopeful that the days where I'm content with OAD will greatly outnumber any pangs of wistfulness.

Thanks again!

OceanBreeze1 · July 2013

Saraevh:
I'm glad you guys were able to come to a decision and I hope your husband starts feeling better soon!

Thank you! So do I. He walks (er, shuffles) like a 70-year-old man. It's so hard to watch, and has really taken a toll on his demeanor the past several years. Hoping it works quickly!

TJ1979 · July 2013

I'm so glad you were able to come to a decision you can be at peace with. I hope the meds kick in really quickly for YH and he's feeling better really soon.

ccam · July 2013

So happy that you guys were able to come to a decision! I hope your DH starts feeling better soon!

mcgeeva · July 2013

Glad you all figured it out!

imoverit · July 2013

Good for you. That was not an easy decision. I was an only kid and I turned out pretty perfect. ;p

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick · July 2013

I think it's great that you were able to come to a decision that you both agreed on. I know how hard this was for you and I'm sure you are relieved that this weight is off of your shoulders now. T&Ps that your hubs starts to feel better soon.

Dragonfly1226 · July 2013

It sounds like you made the right decision for you and your family.

I can't imagine how difficult it was, but there is such a relief in making a decision. Like you said, if you change your mind your dh can go off the meds and you can try then. I hope he gets relief from his symptoms soon.

queenbone · July 2013

You sound really at peace with your decision. I'm happy for you.

LuvWIfootball · July 2013

I'm glad you were able to come to a decision that makes you happy. Your DD is one lucky little girl to have such a devoted mom.

UMichGirl · July 2013

Hi ocean! I need to catch up on what's been going on with you. I'm glad you've come to a decision you and DH are happy with!! And what the heck happened to him?! Let's plan a play date soon!

OceanBreeze1 · July 2013

UMichGirl:
Hi ocean! I need to catch up on what's been going on with you. I'm glad you've come to a decision you and DH are happy with!! And what the heck happened to him?! Let's plan a play date soon!

He got some serious pain since December and was finally dx'd with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Ugh. But yes, play date for sure!!!!

Mrs.AmyDylan · July 2013

Being at peace with OAD will take time, but it sounds like you have thought it through. Hugs to you and hope your DH feels better soon!

kaf7 · July 2013

I'm back at work this week and so only catching up now. I'm glad you were able to come to the right decision for you.

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