Dad in the room?

MistyLynnPike · July 2013

Dad not going to be in the room for delivery. For my last baby his wasn't in the delivery room. This time will be the same. Just the dr and one nurse. You think this crazy? My mom is just mad has can be. This is my 4th kid so I feel like and know I can do this with out them.

MommyKristin88 · July 2013

If that works for you...

Personally, I don't like it, and would be pissed if my SO chose to not be there.

LiveNLove44 · July 2013

If you don't want him in the room and he doesn't want to be in the room (or doesn't mind not being in the room), then I don't see the problem. It doesn't matter whether your mother is upset or not. She could throw a tantrum like a small child and it wouldn't matter one iota because it's your child, your birth, and your decision. I'm not sure why it's a problem now considering it's your 4th child.

PrettyInPearls23 · July 2013

It's a personal choice.

I can't imagine not having DH in the delivery room with me.

BabyCampbell312 · July 2013

It's your choice really. Like PP said, if you and the dad/SO are both okay with this, then go for it. Your mom had her choice when she had her kids.... now its time to pipe down and let you make your choices.

CupcakeGirl08 · July 2013

It's your choice but I can't imagine not having him there when his kid is born.

opheliainwaders · July 2013

Maybe have him on standby? I wound up laboring in triage for 3 hours, and we couldn't find a nurse!! If I hadn't had DH, I would have been alone in there. I only got moved out when I was in transition, since the hospital ran out of beds...I doubt this will happen to you, but I now know not to rely on hospital staff at all for labor support.

M0ON · July 2013

My husband and I both do not want him in the room. He has at times been slightly on the fence, but thankfully enough people grossed him out with gory details that he's now firmly in the "pace the hallways" camp.

Your mom's opinion is irrelevant.

MistyLynnPike · July 2013

happy I am not the only one.

MistyLynnPike · July 2013

I think we have to pick him up off the floor.

lkobriant · July 2013

It's really your choice. I'm with PPs though, I can't imagine not having DH in the room with me. But if that's what works for you then more power to you!

pinottoparenthood · July 2013

I would be pissed if DH himself refused to be in the room. Before the birth, he thought he didn't want to see anything... i was fine with that if hejust wanted tomstay near my head, hold my hand, and not watch. once it was actually happening, however, he couldn't look away and was blown away. I am normally not a sappy person, but it was a really intense bonding moment for us. I can't imagine Him not being there to meet our son for the first time.

having said that, if it is a mutual decision that you are both happy with, more power to you. It's your prerogative to decide what you want your birthing experience to be like. But yes, it is definitely unusual.

Soleil3 · July 2013

What! men shouldn't be in the delivery room, that's women's work!! Plus he could see your vagina get all stretched out and leave you for a younger non-baby producing woman!

My H works his off when I labor, I couldn't imagine him being anywhere else.

JCWhitey · July 2013

It's a personal decision, I guess. When I picture my H doing this, though, I just have a ton of "what ifs" that pop up. Like, where's he going to be? In waiting room where they can easily find him or off somewhere? What if there's some complication and you need to have an operation, are you comfortable being in there alone and having no one go with the baby afterward? What about the times during the labor when neither the nurse nor the doctor are there? Is he going to be there while you are laboring and just leave during the actual deliver or will you just be sitting there alone?

achadwick19 · July 2013

Even if I had 20 kids, I would want my husband there for every single birth because it is his child too and I couldn't imagine not sharing the moment with him. It's your decision of course, and as long as you're both okay with it, then that's fine. I just personally could never think of doing that.

blondii428 · July 2013

I can't imagine not having mine in the room.

CNYBride05 · July 2013

What are you asking? For the board's approval? I think that's weird and want my husband there. Seems like you've made your choice, so I guess I don't understand your reason for posting.

PrimRoseMama · July 2013

a.) Why does it matter what we think?
b.) What does the father of the baby thinking of it?
c.) Are you ok with it?

So, I'm not quite sure why it matters if we think its nuts. Its not our vag, our baby or our birth experience. Do what works for you.

PrimRoseMama · July 2013

Also, if you are looking for folks that might have a similar situation: H feels more comfortable staying home to look after DD while I labor. I am alright with this. Last time he was brilliant during labor. Very encouraging and helpful. I loved having him there, but lately DD has been going through such horrible separation anxiety (I'm guessing sensing impending changes?) that he feels that it would be best for him to stay home with her. I am alright because I know that I have great midwives, nurses and medical staff with me.

If anything he can zip in to check on me and I have a good friend who is willing to stay with me too. I have support is the point. If you feel you have adequate support and laboring alone doesn't bother you then go for it.

HeatherMc78 · July 2013

My hubby and my mom were in the delivery room with my previous deliveries. They are my biggest cheerleaders and support system. This pregnancy my mom can't fly down for the birth and I am heartbroken. It was such an emotional experience to share with both.

lovemyminions · July 2013

PrettyInPearls23:
It's a personal choice.
I can't imagine not having DH in the delivery room with me.

i agree

kuetgal · July 2013

PrimRoseMama:
Also, if you are looking for folks that might have a similar situation: H feels more comfortable staying home to look after DD while I labor. I am alright with this. Last time he was brilliant during labor. Very encouraging and helpful. I loved having him there, but lately DD has been going through such horrible separation anxiety (I'm guessing sensing impending changes?) that he feels that it would be best for him to stay home with her. I am alright because I know that I have great midwives, nurses and medical staff with me.
If anything he can zip in to check on me and I have a good friend who is willing to stay with me too. I have support is the point. If you feel you have adequate support and laboring alone doesn't bother you then go for it.

same!

magdalina.h · July 2013

His child he's in the room. I find it very odd for him not to be in the room

CaliforniaDream87 · July 2013

CurlingRocks:
Is this MUD?nbsp; Why would you care whether your mom cares if your H is in the room or not?

This. I mean, the grammar alone threw me off.

My H will be in the room.

vintageutopia · July 2013

As long as your DH is okay with that, it is your choice. I would only have an issue with your choice if he wanted to be there and you told him no. To me, that is selfish and unfair.

Can I ask why, though?

dandymum · July 2013

I don't think it is crazy. It does come off a bit odd. I would still want the support of my partner nearby, no matter how many kids I have birthed before. That is just me though. Do what works for the two of you.

kat012 · July 2013

Like other PPs, I can't imagine not having DH with me, but its up to you. Do what makes you feel comfortable.

leahaustin · July 2013

I guess if he doesn't want to be in there and you don't want him in there it is not a huge deal. I can't imagine why he wouldn't want to experience that with you or why you wouldn't with him but again it's a personal choice.

I definitely want my DH in the room with me for my comfort but also so he can experience the birth of our daughter.

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Dad in the room?

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