- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Blended Families
CFjo2010
member
Duplicate stuff - input
CFjo2010
member
I don?t even know how to start this post. If I jump around a bit, I apologize...
Next week is DD?s birthday, and we?re giving her an ipod touch. I installed an app that allows her to text and send/receive picture messages as long as she?s connected to wifi. K has one of BM?s old iphones and is able to text on it as well, but mostly just uses it as an ipod and to play games on. K has an ipod nano that we bought her for her birthday this past December, so it?s not as though she has nothing at our house.
BM does not allow K to bring anything to our house. Ever. However, we tell K all the time she can take things to Gma?s. Seriously, we live 5-10 min away from each other, we?re not concerned that things will get lost. K has taken movies over there, board games, etc., and it?s never been an issue. We feel that K?s belongings belong to K, not to us or our house. That being said, K has obviously never been allowed to bring the iPhone here. Not even when she?s with us for our week Summer vacation. DH is worried that K is going to feel slighted or left out now that DS has an iPhone and DD will be getting an iPod touch, and ?maybe we should get her one too?.
Here?s my issue(s): First of all, DS and DD are getting these things as birthday gifts (DD is the 11th, DS is the 20th). We aren't giving them these things ?just because?. Secondly, why should we duplicate belongings just because BM won?t let K take things different places? When K is old enough to have a cellphone (assuming BM buys her one before we do), are we expected to have 2 separate phones with 2 separate numbers so that one stays at each house? Are we supposed to have 2 separate cars for K? I don?t mind having a separate wardrobe/bike/scooter/dolls for K at our house. Obviously there are some things that yes, having duplicates isn?t a big deal. But other things I think it?s ridiculous.
Thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Duplicate stuff - input
I wouldn't buy K one now just because but when her birthday or Christmas comes I would get her one.
ETA: SS has an iPod at his moms and we are planning on buying him one in Aug. for his birthday. DD will have to wait until Oct to get hers.
Agreed. Or let SD go home to BM and say she wants her iPod at your house and if she complains enough maybe BM will stop being so petty. Either way it's not your problem.
I admit, my SS has 2 ipod touches.
He has had one at BM since he was 6 or 7, but nothing from BM's is allowed at our house (her rules). We do allow him to take anything he wants back and forth.
Just after Christmas he asked if he can buy an ipod touch at our house with money he had from holidays - we said no problem. I think it is ridiculous that he needs 2 - we share custody and we live 25 minutes apart.
We did buy him a phone for his bday and if BM ever lets him have it at her house we will let him bring it back and forth - after all it is his. But currently BM has said he can't have it at her house.
So - I don't think they should have 2 phones, or 2 cars, but I also don't think that they should be denied something just because they have it at the other house. When K's birthday comes up that is the same age DD is turning - then I think it only fair that she be offered the same level of technology. But just to get her an ipod for no reason other than she might be jealous - tough.
Fair and equal are not the same. My kids get different gifts based on their age. And I definitely would not get a child a gift just because it is their siblings birthday, and they might be jealous - that is absurd!
It's been 5 years and the pettiness just grows and grows.
Unfortunately I see K's iphone/ipod at Gma's getting taken away soon. Once DD gets hers next week, the girls will be texting each other 24-7 when K is with BM. BM will end up either taking it away or will forbid K from texting DD and will change the number.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
See, with a regular ipod I don't mind that she has 2. Itunes is so frustrating and you can only have the ipod registered to one account, which is why we bought her the nano. Even though we let her take it to Gma's, she wouldn't be able to load music from BM's itunes account. But an ipod touch is pretty expensive and she really only uses it for playing games and texting. Why does she need 2? That's like her having a Nintendo DS at our house and at Gma's. Plus, installing the texting app would require a separate phone number. So now we would be asking people to keep track of the schedule and to text K at the phone number that corresponds with what house she's at. It's just so stupid.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
We are buying SS a 3 DS and he has one at BM's
I know it's stupid to have two but when BM won't let things come to our house and flips out about a pair of swim trunks (that are a size too small) I accidentally took from daycare it kinda is what it is.
K uses it to text family members. I know MIL (who lives out of State) texts her quite a bit when she's with BM, and K's Uncle who is out of state at college texts her a lot also. She texts me and DH when she's with BM sometimes, and has my parents' numbers and also other family members.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
SD has 2 ipod touches. She got one at Christmas from us and one in April from BM for her bday. We made sure BM used the same apple id account that we had set up for her so all her stuff transfers between.
I would not buy K on just because. For a birthday or Christmas, sure!
Not kidding, we actually suggested this to BM awhile ago. We thought it would be easier for K if she had her own iTunes account and BM refused to do it.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
We are in the same boat, it sucks. BM does not want to share things, so we get SS every summer for 3 months, every thanks giving, and every Christmas break, with just the clothes on his back. He is not aloud to bring things back and forth. I had asked if he could have a snow suit last christmas, because it is a 7 hour drive from our pick up point to home, and weather changes quickly in our area, i didnt want to end up stranded with SS not having any winter gear. BM sent him in a hoodie, jeans, and sneekers. We send things back with him, and her BF's kids wear them and SS does not get them. SS hates not getting to take things back and forth, but BM has her rules, and if we try to rock the boat, she thows a fit and we do not get to talk to SS.
Since you have no control iver BMs crazy you are best off changing your thoughts on it. If I try to call my friend I try her cell and home phone. Think of it the same for other people unfortunately.