Just married...undecided on whether to wait or not!
jenjennjennifer
member
Hello there!
We were just married on June 8. Had some unprotected "moments" on our honeymoon that led me to believe that I may be pregnant. But pretty sure I just got my period today (5 days early), even though it's a little wacky .I have to admit, even though we are not currently TTC, I was sad to see my period come.
Anyhoo, we both want children very badly. But the thing is...we are living at my parent's house to save $ and my husband is not quite finished with school. I am thinking about going to grad school too. But we cannot stop thinking about having kids! We want to be young parents, and I am terrified of not being about to conceive someday (even though there is no reason to think that; my periods have always been very regular). I am 30 and he is 29.I know there is never really a "perfect" time to have kids, but I feel like we should be more settled than we are. But we both have jobs and make decent money. I have a steady 9-5er and he works 2 jobs while going to school.
Is it crazy to TTC just mere weeks after marriage?! I have always wanted to be a mother. I am so undecided on whether to wait or just to say the hell with it and just try now.
I know you all have probably heard this a million and one times from newlyweds here. This latest pregnancy "hope" got me really thinking. I guess this post is pretty much me just being indecisive, but I really just needed to get it out on paper..err..type it on the internet!
Thanks for listening, ladies. 
Re: Just married...undecided on whether to wait or not!
I'd suggest holding off on babies for a little while longer. I suggest enjoying marriage while it is just the two of you for at least a year, because you can't get that back once you have kids.
Also, maybe wait until you are no longer living at mommy and daddy's house.
I don't think there's anything wrong with getting pregnant right away outside of the fact that lots of women do it because they need something else to plan. It's also nice to enjoy time as newlywed alone. Nothing wrong with doing it that way - those are the only downfalls I see.
there is something seriously wrong with ttc when you live with your folks for financial reasons. Don't do it. Also when is the poor guy going to see his kid if he works two jobs and goes to school? Wait until you're settled in your own place, he has one job and school is done.
What I would do is sit down with your DH and sketch out a plan for the next 18 months or so. Ideally, you'd want to have a place of your own or at the VERY least, a firm timeline to achieving that. You may want to wait till your DH finishes school. Also, have you looked into your maternity leave benefits? If your leave is unpaid, can you afford it? And if you want to SAH or go to grad school for any length of time, can your DH's income support a family?
I understand that in some cultures living with your parents may be totally fine but in others your parents may be counting down the days till they get their house back. Only you know how your parents would feel about a third person under their roof but don't abuse their generosity just because you have baby fever.
In a perfect world, I'd say be married for a bit before having babies. However, that isn't a super big issue to me.
I do think you should wait until you are on your own. Babies are stressful and expensive (and wonderful!!) I wouldn't want to have a baby while living with my parents. Likewise, there will be things you'll want to differently than your parents did. That's a tough conversation to have when you have your own home, but when you live with them it's an even fuzzier line.
Best of luck with your decision.
First of all, good luck with whatever decision you and DH make.
Secondly, I know many people who got pregnant very soon after getting married. For me, that was when baby fever REALLY kicked in. So no, it's not crazy.
Only you and DH know your timeline, and only you guys can make those decisions, but since you're asking our opinion, if this was my situation, I would wait until we were more settled and not living with parents. Also, I would sit down with DH and have a very serious conversation about your timeline and expectations.
Personally, we had that conversation many times before we got married, and our timeline has not ventured off from what we originally decided. Waiting is REALLY hard for some (me!) but it'll be worth it in the end. (hopefully!)
I don't think it matters how soon after you get married. However, if it were me, I would wait until I was more financially secure, able to support myself, and not living with my folks. Take advantage of the opportunity you have now... you have the ability to save a lot of money and get yourselves better situated for a kid.
We were married on May 19th and while I would have loved to try that cycle, we are waiting until September at the earliest. We want some time together as newlyweds and we want to save some more money and pay down some debt.
I don't think there's anything wrong with TTC right after marriage as long as you feel you're ready, but I'd say you should at least be ready to move out of your parents house first.