Is there anything you keep from your SO that you think is for their own good
My confession: dh works outside the home and I am a SAHM. He puts most of the paycheck into our joint account for bills. I pay them every month. He used to but frequently forgot to pay a few
Any who I take a few hundred dollars a month and sock it away in an account that he isn't aware of. Last week I bought him a shed kit and gravel out of this stock pile. He was completely amazed but I refuse to let him know where I got the money from. I have in the past used it for Christmas and family vacations. He is horrible at money management and this way we all get to enjoy the extra income.
I'm sure this is flame worthy but it works for us
BTW: I thought he was going to cry when the truck delivered his shed kit. He was flabbergasted
I think it's sweet that you are using it to surprise him and the family with stuff. We have a similar situation with income and bill paying - my DH always says "I make the money, you spend it."
I try to be sneaky about things, but I always come clean.
Even though you have good intentions, that's not my style. My mom did the same thing for years. It eventually turned into her spending beyond their means and being 20,000 dollars in debt. I'm not saying that it will happen to you. It's just my experience with keeping money secrets.
Plus, I wouldn't want my husband keeping it from me even if he was buying me something. At Christmas, we just make a budget and don't spend over that amount on each other.
Same. DH and I will just say "okay, no spending more than 50 on each other". It works out.
After 4 years of marriage we just joined our bank accounts like 2 weeks ago. DH is also terrible at managing money and paying bills on time. Like someone else said, he literally said you manage and spend it. So I do all the bills and let him know how much we have and make suggestions, but I don't keep anything from him. He has access to our account and can do anything he wants with it. I am just the main person managing it all.
As far as anything else we are probably too open with each other. Lol
my husband is the same way and we do have a separate account that only my name is on, but he knows about it and we used it for vacations, and other things we are saving for. However, I don't hid anything from him with the account and I am honest on what is in it and what we use it for.
The only secrets I attempt to keep are in the form of gifts, but this usually doesn't work in my favor as I SUCK at keeping secrets from him!
Especially when I know how excited he is going to be!
Exactly how I am. I get too excited to see his excitement from the gift! He is hard to shop for so when I finally find something good, I usually end up telling him on accident because I get too proud of myself lol.
This, I know you aren't "keeping" money from your husband, but I still feel like I'd have to say that I had an account that I used to save up for vacations, surprises etc. His name doesn't have to be on the account (although all of ours are joint) but I couldn't keep something like that from him.
I hide treats that I don't want to share in the vegetable drawer in the fridge. 5 years of living together, he has yet to find my hiding spot.
As far as your scenario, I think you have good intentions but I think hiding money, for any reason, is never a good idea. Could you just say "I am putting away X number of dollars every month for our "fun" money". If I found out that my DH had a secret account I would be pissed.
I manage all of our money and our bills, accounts, etc. but every month I give him an update and let him know the status of everything. In my opinion, money is one of the top things that causes issues in a marriage and we are very open about it to avoid those problems.
This, I know you aren't "keeping" money from your husband, but I still feel like I'd have to say that I had an account that I used to save up for vacations, surprises etc. His name doesn't have to be on the account (although all of ours are joint) but I couldn't keep something like that from him.
This! I can't even hide treats or food from him without feeling guilty.
I'm right there with you. It's not that MH is bad with money, by any means. It just works better if I just move money into our savings without telling him. We don't have joint accounts (aside from one savings), but we have access to each others accounts, and they all show up on the same online login. So he can see we have money in savings, he just doesn't understand how it got there. Ha!
Since MH is the "bread winner" and I'm typically home Friday mornings, I'm in charge of the bills. So he just trusts me to let him know our bi-weekly spending budget, and we go from there. But if he ever has any questions, he can always look at the bank statement and see where every penny went.
I hide the candy, because he's trying to watch his weight, and I'm... well, pregnant and pretty interested in sweets haha.
We don't share finances yet, but he knows all about mine since my money right now is going towards supporting baby and I for the first year. After that, who knows, but I'd be pretty uncomfortable hiding what is essentially his money from him. Although, if you know your DH, and you feel like he'd be okay with it, I'm not gonna judge.
The only thing I hide from DH is that when he works graveyard I let the dogs in bed to sleep with me!! But pretty sure he is on to me. We don't have a joint account but we are open with each other. I understand what you are trying to do but I dunno if it would work for us.
Even though you have good intentions, that's not my style.
This.
We have two incomes in our home and we still don't "hide" money away.
Yeah, I stopped and thought a second about this before I answered, and I can honestly say that I don't keep anything from DH...and don't really think its a good idea.
After 1.5 years TTC, IUI #2= BFP 12/2/12
"And the dream that you dare to dream really do come true"
I don't hide money from dh, though he doesn't ask about it either.
Married 07/17/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 10/20/2010 TTC since Oct 2010 BFP #1 March 31st 2011 Due December 10 2011 Missed m/c discovered June 2nd 2011 at 12w4d D&C scheduled June 7th 2011 at 13w2d Found out our baby boy had Triploidy XXY through embryopathology BFP #2 September 28th 2011 Due June 8th 2012 Missed m/c discovered November 20th 2011 at 11w2d D&C November 29th 2011 at 12w4d Found out our baby girl had Monosomy X through embryopathology BFP #3 April 24th 2012 Due January 5th 2013 Betas falling on 04/26/12 Chemical Pregnancy RPL testing done, multi nodular goiters on thyroid discovered.
BFP #4 November 22nd 2012, Due August 5th 2013 Betas: 17 @ 9dpo, 62 @ 11dpo, 124 @ 12dpo, 321 @ 14dpo 720 @ 16dpo 13,805 @ 23 dpo First ultrasound at 6w3d, hb 122 bpm. Second ultrasound at 7w3d hb 143 bpm Third ultrasound at 10w1d hb 167-170 bpm Forth ultrasound 12w1d hb 167 bpm Graduated rpl program, moving on to regular ob! It's a boy!
Little man was born August 1st 2013, 7lbs 8oz and 20.5 inches long
When DH is gone overnight, I sometimes let DD cosleep with me. He is much more of a stickler for bedtime routine, which is probably for the best in the long run. But I have a spine of jelly when she asks to snuggle with me. So, when I do give in, I don't tell.
Sometimes after my grocery store trip I take out 20 bucks and pocket it. I use it for lunches out with my other SAH mommy pals, or to go to the bounce house place, or just go get a pedi with pals.
I thought I was being super sneaky about it, but I recently found out our bank shows the debit PLUS any cash taken out separately on the online register.
But I've been doing it for about 2 years and he never said anything about it. And he makes and handles all the money so it must not bother him.
Guess my secret was outed a long time ago....like when it started.
OH! I thought of another one! I actually make my own laundry soap. It's super cheap and does a good job. I hide my homemade kind and always have a small bottle of "ALL" available on the off chance he does laundry. He doesn't think the homemade kind cleans as well. Little does he know all his clothes are cleaned with the homemade kind. Wahahahahahahahaha.
Oh. I also spend a half an hour staring at my chin and plucking out random hairs that are so long it's scary.
I don't divulge this info to MH. I figure some things are best left secrets. But we are also the couple that in over a decade have never used the bathroom in front of each other. It's just not done. EVER. ick.
Sometimes after my grocery store trip I take out 20 bucks and pocket it. I use it for lunches out with my other SAH mommy pals, or to go to the bounce house place, or just go get a pedi with pals.
I thought I was being super sneaky about it, but I recently found out our bank shows the debit PLUS any cash taken out separately on the online register.
But I've been doing it for about 2 years and he never said anything about it. And he makes and handles all the money so it must not bother him.
Guess my secret was outed a long time ago....like when it started.
OH! I thought of another one! I actually make my own laundry soap. It's super cheap and does a good job. I hide my homemade kind and always have a small bottle of "ALL" available on the off chance he does laundry. He doesn't think the homemade kind cleans as well. Little does he know all his clothes are cleaned with the homemade kind. Wahahahahahahahaha.
My H only eats name brand cereal. So every couple days I take out the store brand and switch the bags. We eat the same cereal so he never noticed the box is already open. If I told him I'm not sure he'd care.
I don't hide money, and that wouldn't work for us. But if its working for you, I don't judge.
Married DH : 7/7/12; 3 fur babies (2 dogs and 1 cat) DS born 9/3/13; DD born 7/22/15; LO due 5/28/18 FS (age 5) and FD (age 2) to become AS/AD very soon!
Re: Poll: not clicky
I think it's sweet that you are using it to surprise him and the family with stuff. We have a similar situation with income and bill paying - my DH always says "I make the money, you spend it."
I try to be sneaky about things, but I always come clean.
BFP #1 mm/c at 12w1d
Same. DH and I will just say "okay, no spending more than 50 on each other". It works out.
After 4 years of marriage we just joined our bank accounts like 2 weeks ago. DH is also terrible at managing money and paying bills on time. Like someone else said, he literally said you manage and spend it. So I do all the bills and let him know how much we have and make suggestions, but I don't keep anything from him. He has access to our account and can do anything he wants with it. I am just the main person managing it all.
As far as anything else we are probably too open with each other. Lol
The only secrets I attempt to keep are in the form of gifts, but this usually doesn't work in my favor as I SUCK at keeping secrets from him!
Especially when I know how excited he is going to be!
This.
We have two incomes in our home and we still don't "hide" money away.
Exactly how I am. I get too excited to see his excitement from the gift! He is hard to shop for so when I finally find something good, I usually end up telling him on accident because I get too proud of myself lol.
This, I know you aren't "keeping" money from your husband, but I still feel like I'd have to say that I had an account that I used to save up for vacations, surprises etc. His name doesn't have to be on the account (although all of ours are joint) but I couldn't keep something like that from him.
I hide treats that I don't want to share in the vegetable drawer in the fridge. 5 years of living together, he has yet to find my hiding spot.
As far as your scenario, I think you have good intentions but I think hiding money, for any reason, is never a good idea. Could you just say "I am putting away X number of dollars every month for our "fun" money". If I found out that my DH had a secret account I would be pissed.
I manage all of our money and our bills, accounts, etc. but every month I give him an update and let him know the status of everything. In my opinion, money is one of the top things that causes issues in a marriage and we are very open about it to avoid those problems.
This! I can't even hide treats or food from him without feeling guilty.
I'm right there with you. It's not that MH is bad with money, by any means. It just works better if I just move money into our savings without telling him. We don't have joint accounts (aside from one savings), but we have access to each others accounts, and they all show up on the same online login. So he can see we have money in savings, he just doesn't understand how it got there. Ha!
Since MH is the "bread winner" and I'm typically home Friday mornings, I'm in charge of the bills. So he just trusts me to let him know our bi-weekly spending budget, and we go from there. But if he ever has any questions, he can always look at the bank statement and see where every penny went.
I hide the candy, because he's trying to watch his weight, and I'm... well, pregnant and pretty interested in sweets haha.
We don't share finances yet, but he knows all about mine since my money right now is going towards supporting baby and I for the first year. After that, who knows, but I'd be pretty uncomfortable hiding what is essentially his money from him. Although, if you know your DH, and you feel like he'd be okay with it, I'm not gonna judge.
Yeah, I stopped and thought a second about this before I answered, and I can honestly say that I don't keep anything from DH...and don't really think its a good idea.
Married 07/17/2010
Diagnosed with PCOS 10/20/2010
TTC since Oct 2010
BFP #1 March 31st 2011 Due December 10 2011
Missed m/c discovered June 2nd 2011 at 12w4d
D&C scheduled June 7th 2011 at 13w2d
Found out our baby boy had Triploidy XXY through embryopathology
BFP #2 September 28th 2011 Due June 8th 2012
Missed m/c discovered November 20th 2011 at 11w2d
D&C November 29th 2011 at 12w4d
Found out our baby girl had Monosomy X through embryopathology
BFP #3 April 24th 2012 Due January 5th 2013
Betas falling on 04/26/12 Chemical Pregnancy
RPL testing done, multi nodular goiters on thyroid discovered.
BFP #4 November 22nd 2012, Due August 5th 2013
Betas: 17 @ 9dpo, 62 @ 11dpo, 124 @ 12dpo, 321 @ 14dpo 720 @ 16dpo 13,805 @ 23 dpo
First ultrasound at 6w3d, hb 122 bpm.
Second ultrasound at 7w3d hb 143 bpm
Third ultrasound at 10w1d hb 167-170 bpm
Forth ultrasound 12w1d hb 167 bpm
Graduated rpl program, moving on to regular ob!
It's a boy!
Little man was born August 1st 2013, 7lbs 8oz and 20.5 inches long
Baby Name Popularity by State
I thought I was being super sneaky about it, but I recently found out our bank shows the debit PLUS any cash taken out separately on the online register.
But I've been doing it for about 2 years and he never said anything about it. And he makes and handles all the money so it must not bother him.
Guess my secret was outed a long time ago....like when it started.
OH! I thought of another one! I actually make my own laundry soap. It's super cheap and does a good job. I hide my homemade kind and always have a small bottle of "ALL" available on the off chance he does laundry. He doesn't think the homemade kind cleans as well. Little does he know all his clothes are cleaned with the homemade kind. Wahahahahahahahaha.
I'm a vile biotch.
This.
I don't divulge this info to MH. I figure some things are best left secrets. But we are also the couple that in over a decade have never used the bathroom in front of each other. It's just not done. EVER. ick.
Love the evil laugh.
I don't hide money, and that wouldn't work for us. But if its working for you, I don't judge.
DS born 9/3/13; DD born 7/22/15; LO due 5/28/18
FS (age 5) and FD (age 2) to become AS/AD very soon!