Evil Step Mom? Long

HoolyGo · June 2013

I need an outside opinion on this, so I'm hoping you all can tell me whether you think I'm being unreasonable or not.

BM requested SD over the long weekend for a minivacation, and DH ok'd it, meaning he gave up his time this upcoming week. Additionally, a year ago, he signed up for a race about 4 hours from where we live, that's taking place the next weekend. So he is giving up the following week's time too.

I guess it just dawned on him that he wouldn't see SD for two weeks, so he suggested that maybe he'd see if he could get SD earlier next week for a couple of days. I pointed out to him that we have two hospital birth tours scheduled, which we scheduled over a month ago and that I am having to take off work to attend. Both hospitals have stated that absolutely no children will be allowed on the tour, and both are scheduling a month out. So, if we reschedule, we're looking at doing the tours 2 to 3 weeks or so from my due date. I told him that I wasn't rescheduling, but that I'd attend without him of he wanted to have SD. The only sitters we have for SD are my parents, and they will both be working during the tour time, so that's not an option.

He then suggested that maybe we could bring SD to the race, and that I could watch her while he participated. I haven't given him an answer, but honestly I don't want to deal with that. The race will be about 4 to 5 hours, where spectators are expected to hike several miles, in the heat, at altitude.
I will be 7.5 months pregnant at the time and I'm concerned about how I'll handle it before I even think about adding a 3 year old to the mix. FWIW, I did the race 2 years ago, and I don't remember seeing any kids younger than maybe 10 at the event.

Am I being unreasonable if I tell him that I'm not going to watch SD if it means bringing her to the race? It's not just SD, I wouldn't bring my own bio child that age either. I want to do what I can to help DH see SD, but I don't feel like I should have to forego hospital tours or bring a 3 year old to an unreasonable location to do it.

Thoughts?

Littlejen22 · June 2013

Is there a different option than you sitting for the entire race and walking far? Even if she is not there that is not fun. I would not bring a 43yo to a race that long because it was hard enough to keep my kids busy at 4 and 2 at a 5K.

MrsHetzel · June 2013

Not being unreasonable. I feel like my DH does the same thing sometimes, losing track of schedules etc. and then to make up for it we end up having to compromise plans and it drives me coocoo.

sfeebs13 · July 2013

No. I do not think you are being unreasonable.

I think hiking for 5 hours, in the heat, at altitude may not be as much fun for a 3yo or a woman who is almost 8 months pregnant..

Nineoceans · July 2013

I wouldn't do it. Of course in real life I do it all the time but my advice to you would be to tell dh "this is why you stick to the CO!"

fellesferie · July 2013

No way jose. I think that's an unreasonable request from YH, to be honest with you.

My DD is 3, and I wouldn't take her to an event like that. It wouldn't be fun for her, and it's not exactly quality time with dad.

Lavender P · July 2013

I think it is ridiculous your husband even asked that. It would be hard enough with a 3 year old but the fact that you are in your third trimester puts it over the top. I think your DH should try to get SD for dinner sometime in between. Otherwise, he needs to be more cognizant of the schedule before he switches weekends or plans events.

HoolyGo · July 2013

There really isn't another option other than either walking around or sitting because it's a rural area.

Thanks everyone for the feedback! He works afternoons, but she is just in day care over the summer, so I'll suggest that he pickup her up for a morning activity during the week.

Thanks!

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