Mommy Failure.
Ucci
member
SO. My baby will be one next month and I still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.
He still pretty much drinks formula exclusively. We had issues with breastfeeding and bottle feeding early on too, and I believe it had something to do with his jaw being uneven (he had plagiocephaly and torticollis because he was a giant and basically pushed his head as far down as it could go for like the last four months of my pregnancy) but he still sucks about eating. He WANTS to eat... he'll shove all sorts of food in his mouth, but more often than not he pushes it right back out. Have never been able to give him cereal or baby food in more than three or four spoonfuls at a time before he refuses to eat. As a result, he still wakes up at least two times a night to drink a bottle (around 5-7 oz each time) and I'm pretty much ready to fling myself from a cliff.
His ped said that we could start him on whole milk now (mixed with formula at first) because the cost of formula is cray and he goes through it like a champion. That's cool and all, but I cannot figure out how to get him to eat. I feel like he must always be hungry (he's 24 pounds and eats around 7 oz around 4 times during the day, twice at night) but he's certainly thriving, and the only times he seems angry is when he teethes (which feels like the last six months NONSTOP).
Naps are a whole different story. Right now, say, I know he's tired because he's all eye-rubby and yawny and putting his head on the floor-y but he's scuh-REAMING in his crib right now. He woke at nine this morning and has since slept an hour (which, by now, he usually has two naps in totaling 3 hours).
I guess my problem is that I can't find answers anywhere. His ped doesn't seem to think anything bad's going on which is all fine and well but I feel like I'm failing as a parent most of the time. I know every baby is different... he's hitting all the other milestones, usually early, and he's got tons of personality and he seems, for the most part, happy. He's my first, you know? I don't want him to call me from high school like, hey mom, I forgot my bottle at home.
This is kind of just a rant to distract me from the howls of my child, but also I desperately need some assurance that this is somewhat normal? And if it's not, some resources to guide me. Thanks, ladies. Hope you're all well.
Re: Mommy Failure.
For the nap part, have you tried putting LO down earlier? My DD will put up a bigger fuss the more overtired she gets. It makes it much harder to get her down. If all else fails, we go for a car ride and that knocks her out every time.
I've found that a great website for sleep help is www.troublesometots.com. Sorry I'm mobile and can't make it clicky.
9/10 and 1/11 Normal blood work
2/11 50 mg Clomid = BFN
4/11 50 mg Clomid = BFN
5/11 100 mg Clomid = BFN
6/11 2.5 mg Femara = BFN
7/11 2.5 mg Femara = BFN
SA normal and HSG all clear
11/11 14 HMG shots with HCG trigger = BFN
12/11 Femara + HMG = BFP!!
I'd seek out a second opinion. It sounds like you aren't totally convinced by your pedi that it's ok for him to really only be on formula/milk still and that he only takes 3-4 bites when you try other things. There may be something more to that, since he did have jaw issues (by the way, we had torticollis here too because he was breech and basically had his head wedged up under my ribs. He still prefers to look over one way, but it's getting better).
The fighting sleep thing sounds totally normal, though maybe you can try to get him down before he's all yawny and eye-rubbing so he doesn't fight so much?
I have these days as well where I'm like I still don't know what's happening!
You are doing great and like PP said- every baby is different and has their own quirks. Doesn't make you a bad mom or a failure!
DD has to be put down almost an hour early sometimes because she stands and plays in her bed before she sleeps. She usually ends up passing out sitting up and I have to go in and adjust her.
DD is also pretty bottle heavy- formula too since I had issues breast feeding because she was a bit early- but she will eat a good breakfast and some snacks then from 2-3 on she mostly wants her bottle. I try to follow the "food before one is just for fun." Practice and such. I am lost in the whole weaning process! I don't see my pedi until after DD first birthday so I am worried I won't get her weaned!
You have normal worries and such! I am right there with you on some. And if you feel like your pedi isn't helping perhaps find another one. We switched DD at 9 months. Her first pedi and I didn't get along and she wasn't very helpful OR seem to care or help with my questions or concerns. Is your pedi reassuring you at all?
Have you tried purees? Puffs? Finger foods-- cheerios, small pieces of fruit, yogurt? DD doesn't like to be fed- she wants to pic up things and eat it. So she refuses to eat anything that involves a spoon! So for yogurt we get the baby organic 'gogurts' but minus the sugar and such. She can hold it and squeeze it and loves it.
I hope things get better!
Hang in there! Some babies are just really difficult. My son is 8 months right now and for at least a couple of weeks he's been way more interested in banging on his high chair tray than actually putting the food in his mouth. And don't even get me started about his sleep schedule. He goes down at night around 7:45 just fine, but he wakes up around 11 and refuses to go back to sleep unless I nurse him. And after that, he pretty much screams his head off if I try to put him back in his crib. Since I live with other people besides just my husband, and I feel the need to spare them, I've taken to just putting him in bed with me until morning. And he haaaaates napping in his crib. I'll have him pretty much rocked to sleep, but as soon as he feels his body being lowered gently into his crib, he's wide awake and crying. So I hold him for a lot of his naps or just take a nap with him.
While he's awake, he's getting into everything. And when I have a chore that I have to get done that requires me to step a few feet away from him, he cries and crawls over to me and clings to my legs. It's impossible to get anything done. It's so frustrating, some days I want to pull my hair out. But I love that little boy with all my heart. And even though he's a pain, I believe that he will grow out of it (hopefully sooner rather than too much later!) All of my family members tell me that none of their children were as difficult to raise, and just shake their heads with sympathy when I tell them how much I've struggled with him. All you can do is try to meet his physical and emotional needs and try to take cues from him. Good luck!