Death and Heaven

Mrs.RockyM · June 2013

Lately DD has been asking all sorts of questions about death and heaven and I don't have any clue what to say. I've told her when she first started asking about death and if people were killed, that when people are realy old they die and go to heaven to live with God, and not with us anymore but they still leave a little piece of themselves in our hearts forever. She keeps bringing it up though and asking lots of questions, and I just don't know what to say beyond what i've already said.

LoveEeyore · June 2013

Sounds like she needs some reassurance. I personally haven't discussed murder with my kids. But in a short while we lost some fish, a cat, and my grandfather. Oh and a hamster.

My guys often bring up death and dying. Once a store cashier said she couldn't find her manager and my son blurted out "Did she died?"

I think they want to know how predictable this whole enigmatic dying thing is and I just answer the same as I always do and tell them that's why we take of ourselves, eat healthy food, follow laws that protect us, to keep us healthy and safe so we can live long healthy lives. That's what I know, it is true, and so that is what I tell them.

jc&cat · June 2013

what kind of questions is she asking? DS is all too familiar with the heaven talk since he knows that most of his grandparents (3 of them) are there and not here. My uncle passed away 2 weeks ago and he had more questions such as where is heaven and how do you get there and is "insert name here" coming back? It's tough but I try to keep it simple as possible. I told him that when some people are done on earth, Jesus needs them as helpers (we are practicing catholics) and they go there. I say that they watch over us and love us. I didn't want him to think that Pop has abandoned him or something or picked heaven over being on earth. We haven't discussed killing or anything like that yet.

sschwege · June 2013

What about giving her a book about heaven? I recently bought DD a book called, "God Gave Us Heaven". I haven't actually given it to her yet, because I don't plan to pull it out until we need it, but it seems like a good book.

*LrCg* · June 2013

First, I think it depends on your religion. I'm guessing you have some religion in your home since you talked about God/Heaven. We have a 4 & 3 year old and a baby and we are open about death. My DH is a police officer so it was always important to me that our kids were educated early in our religion because DH has been involved in shootings and we've had officers at our house middle of the night to get us/give us news/offer support, etc (however, I try my best to shield this information from our kids). I never wanted to say only old people die or that people die in their sleep. I'm very honest, when its time for you to go, Jesus comes and takes your heart to Heaven and leaves your body here. I never say Heaven is in the sky (as a kid, I always question that because what about space). Now my oldest has questions beyond that and I really liked the book Heaven is for Real for Kids. He does say he's scared to die and I always remind him, he was scared the first time he rode his bike without training wheels because he didn't know what it was like but now he knows its not scary- that's like Heaven. Once we get there it won't be scary and God wants us to be happy there. We also pray nightly and I think having that communication with God is comforting to him.

I also wanted to add, it is summer time and most churches put on Vacation Bible School (generally its for ages 2 and up) and its free and open to members and non-members. Maybe you should check one out and enroll her. Most are 5 days a week, some are during the day or evenings. My kids always have a fun time at them!

LoCarb · June 2013

When it doubt on what to say, I allow authors to school my kids through books Wink

On a serious note...our dog passed away last month and I explained about dog heaven. DD loves to share this with others and it has revolved into her own interpretation. It's cute. There have been big adjustments in her life recently (including the death of our dog) and I do plan to stop by B&N for books this wknd.

LSU628 · June 2013

I was just coming on here to post about this and ask if anyone had any good book references. DD has been asking questions about where is Heaven, who is God, how do we get to Heaven. We had the whole death conversation thanks to our cat killing several birds lately and bringing them to the back porch. We talked about how sometimes things get hurt or sick and die and then they go to Heaven and God makes them better. Maybe not the best explanation, but I didn't know how much detail to go into with a 3 1/2 yr old.

groovygrl · June 2013

It is so interesting to me how this topic apparently comes up w kids right around the same age...development is just so amazing. Thanks to the lion king my house has been abuzz w questions about death and dying (plus I think some talk at school) and I am also trying to field them the best I can...I think as long as parents don't lie or delve into really complex or abstract ideas and keep it simple, kids will be ok and will bring it up again if they have more questions or need more clarity. In the meantime that gives us time to figure out what the heck it is we want to say

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