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Working Moms
shannm
member
NWMR: Am I being uptight about ATVs?
shannm
member
in Working Moms
I am a generally pretty laid back person.
However, I have a real aversion to ATVs. I am not judging those who choose to use them for sport however, I would prefer not to be around them. When I was ten, I found my eight year old brother near death after being ejected from an ATV. He disobeyed my mother and was riding as a passenger with an older neighbor kid. No exaggeration, he was in a coma over a month, rehab for several, and is a completely different person because of the brain damage. That coupled with the attitude of many ATV users in my area, I really don't like them.
My inlaws purchased a mini ATV for DS to ride next week during our visit. They didn't ask. Just said to bring a helmet. My stomach turned. I am really uncomfortable about it. I think it is just a small battery operated toy but it still makes me uncomfortable and I don't think it is a literal safety issue in my head, more of disliking making ATVs look like fun. Honestly, if the toy looked like a fire truck, I wouldn't care.
If I told them I didn't like it, they wouldn't argue. They would respect me but I am sure they would then themselves feel uncomfortable, may roll their eyes, and my DH HATES disappointing them.
So am I being uptight? Should I just let it go? Or should I just ask that they take it back and explain that the idea of ATVs makes me uncomfortable?
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Re: NWMR: Am I being uptight about ATVs?
Is it a real gas powered ATV, or one of the battery powered ride on toys (like the little cars kids can ride in)? If it's the latter I'd say you are being a LITTLE up tight... they can't really go that fast, and as long as he isn't "off roading" with it, I don't think it will tip over. If it is a real ATV, only miniature then that would be a no go for me, nor would I let my kids ride on a full size ATV with an adult.
Understandably, based on your bros experience you're 'scarred' in a sense and I don't think that makes you uptight.
if you're stomach is turning over the idea I would have your H explain to your IL's ans ask if they can return it for another ride. I rec the escalade and have your D'S be a baller.
You are not being uptight. ATVs are horrifically dangerous. I think it would be totally reasonable for your DH to explain to his parents that because of a past experience, you are uncomfortable with ATVs.
A fire truck would be ok? Great. They can exchange it for a fire truck. Everyone will have just as much fun with a fire truck.
I would be upset they didn't ask me first. Do they know about your brother? If so, that would make me even more upset.
With my job, I have taken several ATV accidents involving children and adults and almost everytime, it has not ended well.
I know I would not feel comfortable with DS riding on one, but he is 3. And I definitely would be careful with who I allowed him to ride with when I do.
All of this! It's ok to be sensitive about them due to your childhood experience.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Yeah, I am pretty hurt about the way that my husband handled the situation but unfortunately, I am not surprised. But that is a whole other post, sigh..,.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts. It is great to bounce these issues off of some unbiased people.
My MIL was very nice and said she would return it. I'm sure my FIL thinks I'm crazy but whatever. I have always been his least favorite DIL so I'm just maintaining status quo. He hates being questioned, challenged, or told no. I'm the only person in his life that does this.
My cousin had a similar accident at 17 and suffered a traumatic brain injury. He too, has never been the same. I don't think you're uptight. I think your FIL is a jerk if he thinks you're crazy, having heard your brother's story.
A battery powered small one? NBD to me, but I'm not your LO's parent. You are, and you totally get to make that call. I'd be more upset with my husband for not being willing to stand up to his parents.
And, I don't like the real ATVs either. DH had his torso ripped open on a fence being thrown from one as a child. His internal organs were coming out of him and had to have staples put in. He still has pain around that area and its been 17ish years.
ATVs scare me too and I really don't know how I'm going to handle one in the future b/c my inlaws and nephews (7 & 9) ride them all the time. Usually, they are on the back with an adult, but that doesn't particularly make me feel better about the idea of my child riding on one in the future.
I think a lot of ATV users feel that accidents on ATV's are "freak" accidents that are really rare, but that is just not true.
Now if it's a small battery powered one, then it probably poses less of a physical risk, but given what happened to your brother, I know it feels like you are teaching your child that things that look like that are toys, when they are really not toys at all.
YH should support you on that.
Not at all! I work with traumatic injury and you'd better believe there's no ATV riding in this household. The American Academy of Pediatrics, the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health, the Mayo Clinic, SafeKids, and other organizations have all issued statements that boil down to "ATV's are not for young kids, and some ATV's are only for adults and not teenagers."
https://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/injuries-deaths-soar-kids-riding-atvs/story?id=11983953#.Uc7GcXDD8vg
Real ATV - Never! Plastic toy, battery powered ATV - Probably, with supervision.
Edit to say that I'm appalled based on what happened to your brother that you in-laws would be so insensitive! And your DH needs to step up, but it sounds like you know this.