Ferber is killing me — The Bump
Babies: 6 - 9 Months

Ferber is killing me

Tonight's the first night of doing the Ferber method with DD...she's in one room crying and I'm in the other room crying.  I keep telling myself this is for her good, but this is horrible.  Please tell me this will be worth it!

Re: Ferber is killing me

  • Sending you some cyber hugs.  I've been there and so have many others.  I think I ended up crying more than my DS!  Just remember, if you give up, then all the crying your DD has done would be all for nothing!  What you are doing is for her own good, so that both you and her will be getting much better sleep.  It gets easier, I promise!
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  • Hugs! In my humble opinion you can only decide if its worth it for yourself. I tried it a couple of times and hated it. I would cry too. So I decided to take it slow. I would lay our LO one drowsy and if he fussed I would let him....I never let him go into a hysterical cry. I also was able to get him to self soothe by giving him a blankey. He snugs up to it and goes to sleep. I say, if its hard on you take it a step back, and go a little slower. Ferber does work but its tough on us mommies so I think we need to do it at our own pace. GL
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  • I know how you feel! I went through it about a month ago and I'll tell you it does work but its hard at first. Just keep telling yourself its for the best you'd rather do this now then when she's 18 months and can stand, get out of bed and throw things around.
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  • We are on night 3 - DS cried for a total of 6 minutes then was OUT!! First night he cried for a total of 35 minutes then last night 28 minutes. He wakes up in the morning smiley and happy so I know we did the right thing & you will too!! As much as it sucks they need the rest and the ability to fall asleep on their own! He wakes in the night now and just falls right back asleep. He has been napping better now too. We didn't start Ferber for naps but he went from taking 30-45 minute naps to now taking a 2 hour+ nap in the late morning and another hour one in the afternoon!! Stick with it and it will be worth it!!! 
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  • We started on Wednesday. DD is now STTN, and able to put herself to sleep for naps/bedtime. When she wakes up in the MOTN, she puts herself back to sleep.

    The first few times are hard, but it really doesn't take long for them to catch on, if you stick to it firmly. Totally worth it! 

    This is my second child I've done it with, and both times I am impressed at how quickly they catch on.

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  • LimaDLimaD
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    Thanks for the encouragement, ladies!

    Last night it took about an hour for her to go to sleep, and she made it until 4:30. By 5 she was back asleep til 7.   I'm nervous about the nap training that will go on today, but we'll see how it goes!  Hopefully tonight goes well and it just gets better from here on out


  • image JandACoffee:
    We are sleep training right now also (2nd night) but we are doing the Sleep Lady Shuffle method. If Ferber is too hard, you might want to look into that. I just couldn't stand to have her cry by herself (not that I think anything is wrong with that, but I just couldn't do it). She cried a total of 18 minutes in two rounds last night (8 minutes then settled for about 10 minutes then cried another 10 minutes). Tonight so far she rolled around 5 minutes, fussed for 8 minutes and then fell asleep. She only really cried out once, and I just rubbed her back for a few seconds and shh-ed her and she quieted right down... She might still wake up yet, but she has been down about 30 minutes now.

     

    By chance, is your little one a stomach sleeper?  Last night, I put my 6 month old daughter down on her back and she cried for 5 min, I went in rubbed her belly and her arm, then left for 10 min, then came back in and flipped her on her belly and I patted her back and she settled down and soothed herself to sleep.  I know everything I read says make sure you put her on her back, but she was able to put herself to sleep on her belly.  Thoughts?  (I know this could open a can of worms)

    Also, What are you supposed to do if they wake up in the middle of the night?  My daughter was up at 1 and 4:30 looking for food both times.  At one I fed her and put her on her back.  Then at 4:30 I found her on her belly wedged in a corner of the crib with her face smashed against the bars.  I moved her and ended up having to nurse her to go back to sleep.  I put he back in her crib on her back and she slept until 7. I need help getting her to sleep through the night. 

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  • We used Ferber and I questioned myself a lot the first day. It got so so much better the next day and I'm so glad I did it.
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