WWYD- Childcare from a friend

MrsB924 · June 2013

Hi Ladies - My husband and I are currently trying to finalize our decision on childcare and I want to make sure I am considering all of the pros/cons. I will try to keep this somewhat short. The current plan is for me to return to work full time in January when LO is about 4 months old. Both DH and I have to work full time, so staying home is not an option. My job requires extremely long hours during certain times of the year, and DH is a college instructor so his hours can be pretty random each semester. Right now we are trying to decide between putting LO in a daycare facility near our house that we already toured and really like, or having LO stay with a friend of ours.

Our friend has a 2yo little boy who she has in daycare currently and she is pregnant with another boy and due 5 weeks after us (our LO is a boy also). She has expressed interest in staying home and watching our son and her youngest, with our pay offsetting her older son's daycare costs so he can continue to get social interaction and learning at school. The benefits would be that we definitely trust her to watch our LO, most likely we would have more flexibility on hours, less chances of sick days, and we really like her parenting skills that she has shown with her older son. I would also assume that the cost would be less, although I still need to talk to her about specific pricing.

Is there anything that would keep you from having a friend watch your child? Anything that you think we need to agree upon specifically beforehand besides price, vacation, sick time, and what we will be expected to provide?

Sorry this is so long and TIA!

kakhmama · June 2013

I would def prefer the friend esp if you like her parenting style. The only con that would even be a potential hang up for me is her caring for two newborns at the same time.

That can be challenging, not impossible of course, but challenging.

bexsd · June 2013

I would do it! But yeah, I think you should discuss all the things you mention beforehand.

RunningGal900 · June 2013

I think that to avoid it impacting your friendship you just need to lay everything on the table upfront. How will you handle sickness? Hers, your LOs and her LOs? Does she expect to get paid for sick days? Maybe she still gets paid when your LO is sick, but not her or her LO since you may have to miss work then. Also, what constitutes sickness? A fever? Cough? Runny nose? How will her vacation time work? What does she expect when you have to unexpectedly work late? Who provides your LO's foods (solids, not BM/formula)? Just make sure you are all square on a lot of issues and I think it sounds great!

ravenclaw1 · June 2013

Seems like the friend is a good option, but I would still draw up a solid and extensive contract with her. It should be treated as an official agreement, not just a "hey, watch my kid" kind of thing.

crkreativekids · June 2013

Never ever ever mix friendships and business. I run an inhome daycare and refuse to accept friend's/family's children. It is extremely difficult to set boundaries and know where a friendship ends and a business relationship begins. You may save on sick days for your LO, but take into account she, most likely, will not care for your child on days she or either of her kids are sick. She may not anticipate how difficult caring for 2 young babies can be, thus risking you being put in a bind later and needing to find new child care. Good luck with your decision, but if it were me, I would stick with your child care center plan.

inthelost · June 2013

The friend sounds like a great option and I would take it, espically since you like her parenting style, trust her, and are comfortable with her. I would draw up and think of anything that could ever happen though, and come up with a concrete plan of what to do though.

MrsB924 · July 2013

Thank you for all of the advice! I really appreciate it! I think the next step is really to sit down with her and go through all of the details. Like some of you said, maybe once we decide on sick and vacation time it will turn out to not be the better option. I will keep you posted Smile

JocelynB0911 · July 2013

I have a good friend take care of my kids two days a week and she did full time care before we moved to a different town for our daughter. It worked out well and we kept our friendship out of the business. I paid her just as all of the other families do and never asked for any favors (picking up late/ dropping off early).

One thing I will say about kids getting sick is that they all pretty much share the same germs. If one gets sick, they all do and then its over. Now if you have her son going to a center/ different daycare he will constantly be bringing in new germs home that your LO will come into contact with. You are potentially being set up for constant sickness.

bails12345 · July 2013

I think that in any childcare arrangement, circumstances arise when you have a difference of opinion and need to assert your parental preferences. It's going to happen no matter how good and/or well meaning the childcare provider is. I wouldn't want the childcare provider to be a friend lest it put a strain on the friendship relationship or, worse, made me more hesitant to have those uncomfortable conversations.

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