Community› The Bump Month Clubs› February 2014 Moms
February 2014 Moms
New Discussion
Options

Pressure from mum

CerisrichardCerisrichard member
in February 2014 Moms
Has anyone had this problem... I don't live close to my family and will be visiting them around the 11 week mark. My mum knows I'm pregnant and is pressuring me to tell the family when I'm down. This would be the whole family: aunts cousins etc...

I don't have my first scan until 12weeks and really want to wait to see if everything's ok. I told my mum this and she says she is really disappointed. This is her first grandchild. I feel really guilty now but I told her not to pressure me and I wouldn't so it.

What do you think?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Pressure from mum

  • Options
    JordyInIndyJordyInIndy member
    I think do what you want. If you feel better about waiting then you should wait. This is your pregnancy, not hers. I know we have this want to make everyone happy but that's just not the case sometimes. Besides, she will get over it.

    BFP #1 5.26.08 DD born 1.4.09
    BFP #2 3.11.12 m/c 3.26.12
    BFP #3 10.7.12 m/c 10.27.12
    BFP #4 2.24.13 ectopic MTX 3.13.13 Right tube removed 3.29.13
    BFP #5 5.27.13 DS born 1.22.14     
    BFP #6 4.14.16

     image

    Pregnancy Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Report Reply
  • Options
    RondackHikerRondackHiker member
    Stick to your guns. She's allowed to be disappointed. You're an adult and get to make decisions.


    image image
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Options
    HummingbirdMamaHummingbirdMama member
    Your pregnancy, your choice. She had hers when she was pregnant and needs to respect that this is not about her. I have a similar mother who tends to do things like this. I reminded her that my choosing to tell her in the first trimester was a kindness to her that she should not make me regret or avoid with future pregnancies! The motherdaughter trust is important to have. Hey, a little guilt never hurt!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    avioletskyavioletsky member
    My mom was like this at first and then she calmed down and honored my decision to wait. I honestly was shocked that she was so pushy on this topic because she struggled to have me and I have struggled for years as well.
    It is hopefully the initial excitement and soon it'll be easier for her to keep quiet and let you tell in your own way in your own time.

    P.s. I did let my mom tell her one sister so she could day dream with her. I believe this helped a lot.
    Married to the love of my life since 2005
    TTC #1 - 
    BFP # 1: 5/2006 - m/c @ 6 weeks (natural) / EDD 1/17/2007
    BFP # 2: 7/2007 - chemical pregnancy / EDD 3/18/2008
    BFP # 3: 6/2013 - 7/9 u/s: No hb, measuring 2 weeks behind. Very high HCG#'s 7/21 u/s: No change, ruled out molar pregnancy. Completed Natural Missed M/C 7/26/2013 / EDD 2/5/2014
    TTA with Diaphragm. 
    CFNBC
    I didn't want to kiss you goodbye, that was the trouble; I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And there's a lot of difference. - Ernest Hemingway 

    Licensed foster family. No current placements. Open to adoption but that is not our goal and as such we don't have dual foster/adopt home study.
    2012-2013: Former Foster Mommy to 1 bubbly little 8 y.o. girl that has moved onto an amazing adoptive home.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    ziggy903ziggy903 member
    this is YOUR pregnancy, and YOUR child, and it's up to YOU to decide when it's time to tell everyone. She can be disappointed.  She'll be fine.


    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    jburdet1jburdet1 member
    This actually happened to me my last pregnancy. Although, I told just my sister and she pressured me to no end to tell everyone. I stood firm and waited. However, I found out later that she did blab to my mom and her DH and his family.
    I was pretty disappointed at her breaking out trust.
    I did tell her this time, but I wish I would have waited because I seriously can't trust who she will tell and I don't like that feeling. I also really want to wait because my BIL is getting married and we don't want it out before then in respect to them.
    The next next time only DH will know :

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Report Reply
  • Options
    TicaAngel00TicaAngel00 member
    This pregnancy is for you and dh to enjoy and to make your own decisions. Your mom will deal with it. :
    October Siggy Challenge "Scared People"
    image
    BFP#1: 10-20-12 Missed M/C: 11-30-12
    BFP#2: 5-26-13 Due Date 2-2-14 
    COUNTDOWN BEGINS
    COMING 2-2-14
    BABY K
    image

    image

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"