How early in a pregnancy is OK to offer to host?

bluejetta · June 2013

My dear SIL just shared they are expecting in January. We have a good relationship and I'd love to host a shower if she'd like one. She is from Japan and her immediate family is all there -- showers are not common so I'm not sure whether she'll want one. I know she has friends and family here would probably love to celebrate and I'd love to host as would our shared MIL.

I don't want to offer to soon and figured it safe to at least wait till she's out of the first trimester?

ehnasto · June 2013

I think you are correct in not wanting to offer before she is out of her first trimester. Also if you are unsure if it is something she might want you can always talk to her about it.

I think the key thing when offering to host a shower is the follow through. I know people offer these kinds of things with the best intentions and then never follow through leaving the honeree in limbo about what is going on.

Helenahhandbasket · June 2013

Absolutely wait until she is out of first tri.

PunkyBooster · June 2013

I'd wait til after the anatomy scan, honestly. I never really rested easily til that was done.

JackieA2013 · June 2013

I think it's fine to offer to host as soon as you would like. But don't start any major planning until she's out of the first tri.

JilllyBean · June 2013

2013mommy:
PunkyBooster:
I'd wait til after the anatomy scan, honestly. I never really rested easily til that was done.
This is a good point. I was going to say to wait until around 20 weeks.

I think this is too late. I'd offer after first Tri and maybe pick a possible date. I had a shower at 29 weeks and my hostess was asking my registry info so she could order invites and such by 20 weeks. Also, venues get booked so id start researching before then. You can wait till after 20 to book or order things if you want.

ETA: ESP since she is due right after the holidays. I think finding a good date is important, early on.

OnBabymaking226 · June 2013

I had a close friend and a cousin of my husband's offer the moment they found out I was pregnant. Didn't think it was weird. We've talked general timing, but don't think they will start seriously planning until closer...mainly because it does not take 6 months to plan a shower.

Houseplant · June 2013

msspeedymarie:
JackieA2013:
I think it's fine to offer to host as soon as you would like. But don't start any major planning until she's out of the first tri.
I would say wait to offer until she's out of first tri, but don't start any major planning until after the a/s.

This

kristinc01 · June 2013

I would go ahead and offer now and just say you can start talking plans in ____ month. I've had two instances when a sister or SIL planned on hosting a shower and a friend or coworker asked first or thought no on in the expectant mom's family was going to host. In both instances the sister/SIL were sad that they weren't the one hosting and they weren't close enough to the host to ask about co-hosting.

jeb2013 · June 2013

I think I was 12 weeks when my mom started to discuss a shower. My shower is this weekend! Yay!

Ryokoisozaki · June 2013

I am Japanese having a boy in November. As a Japanese tradition, it is a bad luck to give gifts before baby is born so she may feel strange having a shower. On the other hand, I decided to enjoy this wonderful American culture and planning a shower in my end of second tri, it is because i didnt feel comfortable having one before anatomy scan, due to risks of miscarriage and knowing things are going well. also finding out gender at this scan. You should definitely ask how she feels about shower before you plan it too far.

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