I'm sure we've had this discussion a little...or a lot, but I'm not really sure the answer for most of you.
I'm curious why you work. Do you work because you have to, by choice, or a little of both? Are you happy or resentful about it if it's not by choice?
I work because I have to (basically) and I choose to, if that makes sense. My husband broke his hip and femur a few years ago riding his BMX bike. He's also self employed so our insurance options if I didn't work are limited. We could get approved, but it would be difficult, expensive, and not amazing coverage. So I work first for the insurance. The money I bring in by working certainly benefits are family as well, which helps the cause.
If I didn't have to work for insurance we could scrape together enough funds off my DH's salary and get by. However, I still think I'd choose to work. Maybe part time would be nice, I don't know. I love my kids like crazy, but I can't be home all day. I had PPD to the extreme (I realize it could have been worse) and I got my sanity back both times after I went to work (this time around some medication also helped ).
Anyway, I had a tough time dropping the kids off at DC today and was wishing it didn't have to be this way. Then I reminded myself I'm not cut from that cloth to stay at home full time either. It's a tough balance!!
Re: Why do you work?
I always say I work because I want to work. I have no desire to stay home with the kids. I love my job and love the people that I work with. We can live in our home and pay all our bills with just DH's salary. I do make a decent living so it would, of course, impact us if I didn't work. We would not have the savings continue to grow at the rate that it is and that would mean not retiring as early or as comfortably.
Also, my insurance and benefits are great. DH's company does't offer anything like what I can get for our family.
A little of both. I need to for our family, financially right now but I think I would at least work part time even if I didn't need to. Right now I have a Master's degree that I started and have to finish, which requires working, plus, I can't justify paying the student loans I acquired getting the Master's degree and not using it.
I thought I would stay at home with my kids but I learned during maternity leave that it probably isn't best for the long term. While I love spending time with them for those few months, I know that it would drive me crazy if it was indefinite.
Mom to boy H - born September, 2012 and girl Z - born 2005. Wife to Gorgeous George. Slave to the man.
DD #1 9/11/10
DD #2 8/28/12
#3 Due 10/8/15
All of this. I feel very fortunate to have a great job, great pay, and great coworkers. I feel even more fortunate to have amazing daycare providers in my life that I can trust with my girls. In the past I went back and forth on whether to work or not. For me, I need balance to be my best self, mother, and wife and work gives me just the balance I need.
This. Exactly.
As I was typing this response, our nanny texted me a video of Ethan army crawling and standing at the table, two things he has never done before. And I am missing it. I want to cry at work.
Emma Rose - 9.14.05 Beckett - 5.26.07 Sawyer - 9.22.12 Lennon Mae - 9.26.14
This is some of the hard parts about working, especially by choice. Or maybe having to work and missing these things is harder. I guess it's relative. Just remind yourself that when you get home and get to watch Ethan army craw and stand at the table it's a first for you!! Progression while away from mom and dad is healthy...they are learning trust. (Did that last sentance help any)?
I work because I have to. I would SAH without thinking twice about it if I could. We just cannot afford it.
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I work because I have to but I'm lucky enough to work part time. We could live off DH's salary if we had to but it would be really really difficult and thank God we don't have to. I'm so thankful for his job everyday.
I work 3 days during the week and half days on Saturdays. My pay isn't great but it's enough to allow us extra things like date night, eating out, buying gifts for events, etc. I wish I could be home with DD more but twice during the work week is sometimes enough. It throws off her naps because she wants to stay up and play which makes it so nothing gets done around the house. I don't think I would be as good of a mom if I stayed home with her everyday. I don't think I have the patience to be a sahm, I wish I was that type of person but I'm not. My off days allow us to have better bonding, and helps me cherish that time more.
Plus she loves going to MIL's while we're at work. MIL is such a nuturing, love woman who gives DD all the one on one attention she needs right now.
Just about exactly this.
I like working (just not for my current boss/employer!!), I could not be fulfilled by staying home - I'd go insane as a type A business person. I have an advanced education and need to make use of it. I'm the bread winner and insurance provider as DH owns his own company. The breadwinner part is probably about to change, but I'll continue to be the insurance provider.
We live in a high cost of living area so most households are 2 working parent households to live a comfortable lifestyle here. It is bittersweet for me though for sure. I'd love part time too but I hear that is tough because you are never 100% "focused" one either thing - family or kids. Don't know. I play the lottery a lot though so I could just work for fun/part time/insurance.
When I was working it was because I wanted to. I love the children and families I served, I hated other things about my job and the way our company worked. I miss my job every single day and someday I will go back. For our family and my stress level staying home is the right thing for me for now.
If my kid had not gotten sick, I would still be working.
9/10 and 1/11 Normal blood work
2/11 50 mg Clomid = BFN
4/11 50 mg Clomid = BFN
5/11 100 mg Clomid = BFN
6/11 2.5 mg Femara = BFN
7/11 2.5 mg Femara = BFN
SA normal and HSG all clear
11/11 14 HMG shots with HCG trigger = BFN
12/11 Femara + HMG = BFP!!
[MC 11.20.11] [DS born 9.24.12] [DD born 10.15.14]
Exactly!
Also, since SO is a business owner we constantly deal with the insurance/retirement benefits.
This is us. I am fortunate that I have a job with a school district and we have lots of holidays including the whole summer. When i am working, I am also able to go pick her up by 3:30. I am having a blast doing the SAH thing this summer (play dates, easy to find time to workout, fun baby classes) but I am looking forward to the new school year starting too. I love what I do (speech pathologist). I also loved having LO in daycare last school year. Seeing her interact with her little friends was priceless.
BFP #1 Chemical Pregnancy
BFP #2 DS Bennett
BFP #3 Missed Miscarriage 8wks
BFP #4 Miscarriage 6 wks
BFP #5 Due August 10, 2015
I work part time, 3 days a week and it's the perfect balance for me. I get to spend more time with my kids than I'm at work, but I still feel like a productive member of the team.
Plus, I like making money and contributing to the family financially. I was the breadwinner prior to going part time 2 yrs ago and I didn't want to give it all up when I knew I would only want to SAH for a few years. This keeps my foot in the door. I can go back to full time whenever.
Though part of me wishes being a SAHM was an option. It's not an option because of career goals and my role in my company. We are also accustomed to our combined income.
Also if I stopped working now it would be hard for me to get a job back in the hospital. I finally got my dream job a month ago, postpartum on days!!
I work because I am not meant to be home. While I loved staying home with L for 4 1/2 months, I was happy to go back to work and use my brain again.
We also live in a very HCOL area and we would have to change our lifestyle if I didn't work. We could do it, but I like shopping too much!
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
#11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
Married my love 6/11/11 | MMC 10/11/11 | Eliza Frances born 9/18/12 | Rhett Garland born 2/24/14