Why do you work?

Cheenomae · June 2013

I'm sure we've had this discussion a little...or a lot, but I'm not really sure the answer for most of you.

I'm curious why you work. Do you work because you have to, by choice, or a little of both? Are you happy or resentful about it if it's not by choice?

I work because I have to (basically) and I choose to, if that makes sense. My husband broke his hip and femur a few years ago riding his BMX bike. He's also self employed so our insurance options if I didn't work are limited. We could get approved, but it would be difficult, expensive, and not amazing coverage. So I work first for the insurance. The money I bring in by working certainly benefits are family as well, which helps the cause.

If I didn't have to work for insurance we could scrape together enough funds off my DH's salary and get by. However, I still think I'd choose to work. Maybe part time would be nice, I don't know. I love my kids like crazy, but I can't be home all day. I had PPD to the extreme (I realize it could have been worse) and I got my sanity back both times after I went to work (this time around some medication also helped Smile ).

Anyway, I had a tough time dropping the kids off at DC today and was wishing it didn't have to be this way. Then I reminded myself I'm not cut from that cloth to stay at home full time either. It's a tough balance!!

melody921 · June 2013

I work because it gives me a sense of who I am/what I can accomplish outside of what I do for our family. I believe that going to work outside the home not only allows me to maintain my career path, but also makes me a better mom who appreciates the time I have with the kids. The money also helps. If I really wanted to stay home, I'm sure we could work it out, but we'd have to make some concessions. But I understand where you're coming from because some days I just want to stay home and snuggle my LOs. My ideal would be the job I have, but part-time.

hmp1 · June 2013

I always say I work because I want to work. I have no desire to stay home with the kids. I love my job and love the people that I work with. We can live in our home and pay all our bills with just DH's salary. I do make a decent living so it would, of course, impact us if I didn't work. We would not have the savings continue to grow at the rate that it is and that would mean not retiring as early or as comfortably.

Also, my insurance and benefits are great. DH's company does't offer anything like what I can get for our family.

thebanich · June 2013

I work because I have to. We could not survive off of DHs salary alone. I also think DH would have some resentment toward me if I stayed home (even if money wasn't an issue). I carry the insurance for myself and the kiddos. I think I would want to work part-time (in a job I enjoyed) but I really don't like working full-time.

BeebopandBuddy · June 2013

A little of both. I need to for our family, financially right now but I think I would at least work part time even if I didn't need to. Right now I have a Master's degree that I started and have to finish, which requires working, plus, I can't justify paying the student loans I acquired getting the Master's degree and not using it.

I thought I would stay at home with my kids but I learned during maternity leave that it probably isn't best for the long term. While I love spending time with them for those few months, I know that it would drive me crazy if it was indefinite.

kbbgg · June 2013

It's all about the money, money, money. And benefits and pension and bonuses and golf tournaments.

kbradshaw9 · June 2013

I work because I love what I do. My job is very family friendly and flexible. I have no desire to stay at home. I think its better for me and for the kids that they go to daycare.

skyejo · June 2013

hmp&mrj:

I always say I work because I want to work. I have no desire to stay home with the kids. I love my job and love the people that I work with. We can live in our home and pay all our bills with just DH's salary. I do make a decent living so it would, of course, impact us if I didn't work. We would not have the savings continue to grow at the rate that it is and that would mean not retiring as early or as comfortably.

All of this. I feel very fortunate to have a great job, great pay, and great coworkers. I feel even more fortunate to have amazing daycare providers in my life that I can trust with my girls. In the past I went back and forth on whether to work or not. For me, I need balance to be my best self, mother, and wife and work gives me just the balance I need.

MeatballEsq · June 2013

jlk6:
I work because I have to. I think that it would be possible for us to live on DHs salary alone but we would need to adjust our lifestyle and DH didn't want to do that. He wanted me to keep working. Most of the time I hate my job and hate that I have to work. But I do enjoy the money.

This. Exactly.

BeebopandBuddy · June 2013

As I was typing this response, our nanny texted me a video of Ethan army crawling and standing at the table, two things he has never done before. And I am missing it. I want to cry at work.

jenndub · June 2013

I have to. I make more than DH and we couldn't make it on just his salary. I was a SAHM for the first 2 years of DD1's life (first 8 months for DS) and I loved it. I do love my job, but I would leave in a second if I could. These first few years go by so quickly that I hate missing one second of it. Ideally, I would stay at home until they were all in school and then I'd work part time.

LuvSD · June 2013

I work because I have to but also because I want to. It would not go well for me if I stayed home. My depression gets way worse when I don't maintain a schedule. I also want my career to progress in a certain path and I think leaving the workforce for a period of time to stay at home would hurt that.

Cheenomae · June 2013

delaine0821:
As I was typing this response, our nanny texted me a video of Ethan army crawling and standing at the table, two things he has never done before. And I am missing it. I want to cry at work.

This is some of the hard parts about working, especially by choice. Or maybe having to work and missing these things is harder. I guess it's relative. Just remind yourself that when you get home and get to watch Ethan army craw and stand at the table it's a first for you!! Progression while away from mom and dad is healthy...they are learning trust. (Did that last sentance help any Stick out tongue )?

icedcoffeeluv · June 2013

I work because I have to. I would SAH without thinking twice about it if I could. We just cannot afford it.

terri_doula2010 · June 2013

On good days I think I have the best of both worlds: I SAH and I work PT doing something I love. I work because I want to so I have some adult me time, but I also love being able to contribute to our family. It has made me a better mom for sure. I'm new to working PT so one of my goals is to get to a point where I feel good about spending the money each week to put the kids in a very part time child care: like once or twice a week. But I like having them with me for the most part.

klgrh6 · June 2013

I work because I have to but I'm lucky enough to work part time. We could live off DH's salary if we had to but it would be really really difficult and thank God we don't have to. I'm so thankful for his job everyday.

I work 3 days during the week and half days on Saturdays. My pay isn't great but it's enough to allow us extra things like date night, eating out, buying gifts for events, etc. I wish I could be home with DD more but twice during the work week is sometimes enough. It throws off her naps because she wants to stay up and play which makes it so nothing gets done around the house. I don't think I would be as good of a mom if I stayed home with her everyday. I don't think I have the patience to be a sahm, I wish I was that type of person but I'm not. My off days allow us to have better bonding, and helps me cherish that time more.

Plus she loves going to MIL's while we're at work. MIL is such a nuturing, love woman who gives DD all the one on one attention she needs right now.

MommaP12 · June 2013

Cheenomae:
I'm sure we've had this discussion a little...or a lot, but I'm not really sure the answer for most of you.
I'm curious why you work. Do you work because you have to, by choice, or a little of both? Are you happy or resentful about it if it's not by choice?
I work because I have to (basically) and I choose to, if that makes sense. My husband broke his hip and femur a few years ago riding his BMX bike. He's also self employed so our insurance options if I didn't work are limited. We could get approved, but it would be difficult, expensive, and not amazing coverage. So I work first for the insurance. The money I bring in by working certainly benefits are family as well, which helps the cause.
If I didn't have to work for insurance we could scrape together enough funds off my DH's salary and get by. However, I still think I'd choose to work. Maybe part time would be nice, I don't know. I love my kids like crazy, but I can't be home all day. I had PPD to the extreme (I realize it could have been worse) and I got my sanity back both times after I went to work (this time around some medication also helped ).
Anyway, I had a tough time dropping the kids off at DC today and was wishing it didn't have to be this way. Then I reminded myself I'm not cut from that cloth to stay at home full time either. It's a tough balance!!

Just about exactly this.

I like working (just not for my current boss/employer!!), I could not be fulfilled by staying home - I'd go insane as a type A business person. I have an advanced education and need to make use of it. I'm the bread winner and insurance provider as DH owns his own company. The breadwinner part is probably about to change, but I'll continue to be the insurance provider.

We live in a high cost of living area so most households are 2 working parent households to live a comfortable lifestyle here. It is bittersweet for me though for sure. I'd love part time too but I hear that is tough because you are never 100% "focused" one either thing - family or kids. Don't know. I play the lottery a lot though so I could just work for fun/part time/insurance.

AKB090609 · June 2013

When I was working it was because I wanted to. I love the children and families I served, I hated other things about my job and the way our company worked. I miss my job every single day and someday I will go back. For our family and my stress level staying home is the right thing for me for now.

If my kid had not gotten sick, I would still be working.

beckcour · June 2013

I work because I have to. DH lost his job the day DD was born. I am the sole breadwinner and carrying all of us on my insurance. This is the 2nd time DH got laid off so we decided he needed to make a career switch. He's in school full time for the next 2 years. It's going to be a long 2 years.

I don't think I could SAH full time anyway. I get a little stir crazy on the weekends with DD. The lack of control over my own life can make me a little frustrated.

Eastie156 · June 2013

I do it because I have to. I don't really want to, but I don't get a choice, really. Could we get by on DH's salary alone? Possibly but our lifestyle would be completely different. It's a tough call what is more important, but I would bet if we lived that lifestyle that I'd wish we had more $, could do more things, etc. etc. I think the grass is always greener, at least in my mind.

linzeek44 · June 2013

I work part time because I didn't want to give up my project that I had been working on for a couple years. I love not having a gap in my rsum and getting to geek out about teaching stuff.

miss50 · June 2013

icedcoffeeluv:
I work because I have to. I would SAH without thinking twice about it if I could. We just cannot afford it.

Exactly!

Also, since SO is a business owner we constantly deal with the insurance/retirement benefits.

BootsyLou · June 2013

thechimichanga:
We could live on DHs salary, but vacations wouldn't be as frequent and I don't know if we could give our children everything we hope to financially when it comes to college, first homes, etc.

This is us. I am fortunate that I have a job with a school district and we have lots of holidays including the whole summer. When i am working, I am also able to go pick her up by 3:30. I am having a blast doing the SAH thing this summer (play dates, easy to find time to workout, fun baby classes) but I am looking forward to the new school year starting too. I love what I do (speech pathologist). I also loved having LO in daycare last school year. Seeing her interact with her little friends was priceless.

bosha711 · June 2013

b/c I have to.

eshee8198 · June 2013

A little bit of both. I don't think I could SAH, but I wish I didn't have to work so hard/commute so far. But my salary pays the bills, so there's that. And hopefully, someday my DH will be able to start his own company, so it will be nice to have a stable source of income from me while he gets things up and running.

GR8TDANEMOM · June 2013

I work because I need to. We would be fine off of my DH's salary, but CA is expensive and we want extra money to travel and I want my own money as well. I am lucky that my job is at home with Bennett or I think I would be resentful. I am lucky I can be home with him and still teach, although it is preschoolers instead of elementary.

mrsbhk22 · June 2013

Honestly, I like getting dressed and being Katie, not someone's mom, for a few hours. I like using the other part of my brain, the side that crunches numbers and does critical thinking. Also, I find that I am much more likely to lose my patience when I am with the kids constantly. I turn it to b::hy mom and I hate that person.

I work part time, 3 days a week and it's the perfect balance for me. I get to spend more time with my kids than I'm at work, but I still feel like a productive member of the team.

Plus, I like making money and contributing to the family financially. I was the breadwinner prior to going part time 2 yrs ago and I didn't want to give it all up when I knew I would only want to SAH for a few years. This keeps my foot in the door. I can go back to full time whenever.

tinyhumantoe · June 2013

Dolla dolla bills yo.

Though part of me wishes being a SAHM was an option. It's not an option because of career goals and my role in my company. We are also accustomed to our combined income.

Kris2011RN · June 2013

I work bc I have to. I think we could make it financially if we really budget it,but we aren't budget people.

Also if I stopped working now it would be hard for me to get a job back in the hospital. I finally got my dream job a month ago, postpartum on days!!

Flamingemu · June 2013

I work because I am not meant to be home. While I loved staying home with L for 4 1/2 months, I was happy to go back to work and use my brain again.

We also live in a very HCOL area and we would have to change our lifestyle if I didn't work. We could do it, but I like shopping too much!

VineyardMel · June 2013

Great question. I was going to quit in March but decided I should ask for part time and they happily gave it to me (and really surprised me). We could live on DH's salary, but I decided that if I'm lucky enough to have "the holy grail" of working mom (20hrs a week for a nice salary) I would be a fool to turn it down. I also WFH (and have a nanny, though I don't see DD when I'm working because it upsets her when I come in and out). I realize that I'm incredibly fortunate to have this situation, and so even though I don't really like my current role, I work.

[Deleted User] · June 2013

I work because I have to, and because I want to. We do need my income, but I also enjoy going to work and interacting with other adults. That being said, I'd LOVE to be able to work part time, but my company doesn't offer that right now.

Why do you work?

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