Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Arielle27
member
Re: POLL: SAHM / WM? Help / No Help?
Are you a:
1. Stay at Home Mom Working Mom- I'm a working mom
2. In either case:
How many kids do you have? 5 (soon to be 6)
How much help (if any) do you have?Please explain (e.g., a cleaning person 1/week, 2/month, etc., help from family/nanny/daycare... etc.)- We have childcare for when we are at work, other than that we do everything ourselves.
ETA- we do have a lawn care service that mows the lawn every two weeks.
1. Stay at Home Mom or Working Mom- I'm a Stay at Home Mom
2. In either case:
How many kids do you have? 1 and 1 on the way
How much help (if any) do you have?Please explain (e.g., a cleaning person 1/week, 2/month, etc., help from family/nanny/daycare... etc.)- We live about 25 minutes from both of our parents and most of our family is near so we have tons of help, which helps and hurts at times. I would love a cleaning person once every month or so but I don't see that happening anytime soon.Working mom with 2 girls. We send them to daycare 3 days a week and they have been with MIL the other 2. Starting next week DH starts a new work schedule and they will be home with DH 2 days a week and at daycare the other 3. We live within 15 minutes of our parents and siblings and they are always willing to help. I watch my sister's kids and they watch mine. I don't have any other hired help. The house and the yard get taken care of when we have time.
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my read shelf:
SAHM with two kids, no extra help. Our families are several hours away, and help when they can, but not on a day-to-day basis.
Instead of having help myself I actually provide childcare for two other children besides my own.
DD1 Feb 2010
DD2 Sept 2011
WM
One kid with one on the way.
No help besides daycare during my working hours.
I stay at home during the day. I work two evenings a week when the kids are in bed. When I had 2u2 I worked 15-20 hours a week days.
i have two kids.
My parents help a ton. The kids do multiple sleepovers a month, I do "dates" with each child individually for an afternoon a few times a month, etc.
SAHM. I do work part time and seasonally during tax season.
two kids. My inlaws help out about once a week, but they are moving to TN in the next month or so. My parents visit about once a month except during the winter when they are in AZ. No help otherwise.
in the fall both kids will be in preschool for about 3.5 hours a day. I'm counting down the days.
1. Stay at Home Mom (right now, I have done the working mom thing too)
2. Two kids
Right now I don't have any regular help. We don't live near any family right now (DH is military so we moved halfway across the country away from family last December) so the only breaks I get are when we hire a sitter for date night or whatever.
However, when my DH was deployed in 2011 (when I was in the throws of 2 under 2) I did have a cleaning person every other week and a regular sitter 1-2 mornings per week.
When my DH is home (meaning, just working a day job) to help with cleaning, bedtimes, etc I feel like I need the help a lot less.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
2. I have an 11.5 month old DD and a DS due in about 10 weeks. We don't have any help outside the home, and we probably never will. If we lived closer to family, we'd get free babysitting from grandparents and traded babysitting with siblings, but DH's work has us on the opposite side of the country from family.
As my sig suggests, I have a 2yr 7mo old and a 1yr 4mo old and Im 26 weeks pregnant.
Ive just entered a phase of SAHMing... Both kids are with me home all summer then the new baby is due in September, when the kids will be in daycare from 93.
Our son was born abroad so we had no family/help not even an occasional babysitter. I was working FT with a long commute and he was in daycare, so we had a cleaning lady a few hours twice a month.
My daughter was born here. She was with a nanny from 4 mo while I worked full time again, long commute until I quit when she was 9mo old. Then from 11 mo I worked PT from home and the kids were in daycare. We had cleaning help twice a month.
We are now near family, but other than providing me with a few hours of company now and again and having babysat twice in the last 1.5 years when I was working and the kids were sick, we have no help from family and almost never use babysitters.
I was asking all this because I am in awe when I hear bumpies' stories about doing it all on their own!! I am so tired and finding it difficult as is even with the cleaning help. I can't imagine how it's going to be when we have the third and my husband will be running the new business we are currently building! We won't be able to afford any other help... At least for a long while until the business is up and running and we can pay back the business loan...
Working f/t
2 kids - 2.5y & 13months
No hired help. We have a lot of family around and my mom watches the kids often (she'll pick them up early from DC just for fun)
I work 4-9's & half day Fridays so I usually use those few hours on Fri to go to the grocery store and some cleaning before I pick the kids up from DC.
SAHM to 3 boys and occassionally my SD
?he only help I get is from my FIs mom who wil watch the kids for me if I have an appt to go to while FI is at work or if we ask her to so we can have some time to ourselves. Other than that Im by myself/FI.
Mobile: POLL: SAHM/WM? Help/No Help?
Cannot make a poll for some reason... but just wondering...
1. Are you a: WM
2. In either case:
1. I'm a SAHM. My DD is going to be 3 in August and my DS will be 2 in September.
2. My mom lives 1/4 mile away and watches the kids 1 time a month for date night but otherwise, we do not have help. She stops in here and there and visits the kids a plays with them.
I'm a SAHM.
I have 2 kiddos and 12 weeks pregnant with number 3.
I get help from my sister, parents, and friend occasionally, but no more than what your average person does. I mainly only get help when I'm super sick, I have a huge job that needs to get done (like right now I'm packing our house for a move so my family has been helping with the kids), or if DH and I have a date night, etc.
I get a babysitter maybe once every couple weeks, sometimes more, sometimes less.
I would love cleaning help, but I'm a cheapskate..lol
I have two boys, 20 months and almost 4 months.
I don't have any help. I have plenty of family around and they definitely help, but it's mostly the occasional baby sitting. Maybe once a month. We see them every day but my sisters each have their own young kids and my younger brother is still in elementary school so my mom is still plenty busy with him.
I'm a SAHM
I have a 11 months old and Im 5 months pregnant
I do it alone most days. My DH works a lot so that I can stay home.
2 kids
I do not have help during the weekdays
Honestly it is a lot easier than I thought. Hardest part is bedtime routines if I am alone as the baby's fussy time is right when DS1's bedtime routine is. I feel we adjusted very quickly to 2nd baby and I think it's because we had been through it all before...
BFP 5/21/10, Missed m/c 7/5/10 at 11w3d (baby measured 7wks), D&C 7/7/10
Aug/Sept 2010 - CD3&10 b/w & u/s, genetic testing, SA, HSG, & Lap/Hyst to remove septum
12/09/10 BFP -- 7/05/11 DS born at 33w5d. Came home after 23d in NICU at 37w0d
June 2012 - TTC #2! -- 10/05/12 BFP -- 5/23/13 DS2 born at 37w1d! Yay full term!
Surprise BFP 6/25/14 LO#3 due Feb2015!
I have been a SAHM for about a year and a half now. I was doing online schooling but finished my masters degree in May. I have 2 kids and 2 dogs (one of which is a puppy). I have little to no help from family in fact I actually babysit my 5 year old niece almost every weekend so family is more of a burden. I hire a cleaning person a few times a year for when we are expecting company. Other than that my house is usually a mess. DH works full time and is a full time graduate student so he is pretty much non-existent.
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt18dcc8.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
As far as help... We have chikdcare taken care of. My mother runs a home daycare so she goes there Monday Thursday and my MIL has Fridays. Otherwise dh does so much to help around the house. We try to split everything's from laundry and cooking to lawn care. :
I work full time and have 2 kids. We have a full time nanny in our house. She does some light housekeeping and we have a lady that deep cleans every 2 weeks.