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newbie - suggestions please

bubble515bubble515 member
in Working Moms

I'm going back to work in the fall and have mom guilt.

 Here is a short intro.. my LO is a little under a year and during my leave I was let go due to having to extend it for a baby issue.  I was devastated as I loved this job and was blindsided.   I applied to school  jobs like crazy and was starting to accept the "whatever is meant to happen will happen" but really thought I was going to be unemployeed.  I love my LO and spending time with her, but  I do miss a purpose to get dressed, stimulate my mind, and of course the financial piece.   My LO also is social and being in a daycare would benefit her.

 SO I get an offer and it seems like the "dream" job/ I accepted it. Im excited for it,  but  I am also feeling horrible.   To get us both  adjusted to daycare,  I am going to start her part-time soon.  She would only be there for a few hours when I go back to work because DH will be with her in the am.

Im already starting to feel tremendous guilt.   So I'm saying things to myself like... I wont be doing ____with her,  she'll be in daycare and I'll be home when I could be with her (during transition period),  I'll only a few hours with her after work...will she forget me... the list goes on.

What tips do you ladies have?  I need them badly..

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Re: newbie - suggestions please

  • iverske9iverske9 member

    You have to remember the good things that are coming from you going back to work. Like you said your LO will get interaction with other children, school like curriculum (crafts, letters, etc), adaptability and lots of fun. You will get adult interaction, mental challenges, and contributing to your families fiscal stability.

    I was raised by a working mother (parents still married too, lol) and I never felt neglected or did not know who my mother was, etc. I do not have guilt because I grew up with a working mother and did not feel like I missed out on anything. I am 32 now and have a super close relationship with my mother, went to college, graduate school, have a great husband, a sweet husband and a great life.

    So relax with the mommy guilt, if you do stay home or don't you will always feel like you are doing something wrong. If working will bring you happiness and satisfaction then a happy mother is always a good thing in a family. Your kid just wants to have quality time with you and that is not always the same as quantity.

    I think it is good that you are starting part time, your LO will need time to adapt. You have been his sole caretaker so he/she will cry the first few weeks (Mine cried for a minute or two but was easily distracted and fine after I left)

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  • linjmurxlinjmurx member
    I think you will find it's not as bad as you think. It would be good if you could start part-time at work too, to ease into it and be at work while she's at daycare. I didn't like leaving a 4 month old baby at daycare but as they get older I see how much they love the interaction. (oldest is 2 now but even at 1 that was the case). Plus in my case I feel that I enjoy and appreciate my kids more than I would if I wasn't working. Going to work gives me a bit of sanity. Will be different for everyone though. But if you love your job, that's awesome.
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  • linjmurxlinjmurx member
    ps she definitely won't forget you she will always identify you as her mom and #1. that is never an issue.
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