Warning: Waterworks will happen by reading this blog

brandlebugg · June 2013

https://f2photographybylexi.wordpress.com/2013/06/26/walter-joshua-fretz/

Another warning: this blog contains photos of a baby- 19 week pregnancy that was delivered, so that may be sensitive for some. Also, there is some discussion of pro life topics, so if that bothers you, you may want to pass on the read.

This blog has gone pretty viral, but I thought it was absolutely beautiful. My heart goes out to this mom, but her faith is so strong. I am glad she is sharing her story with the world... her beautiful baby (not fetus), just needed a little more time to develop.

:'(

brandlebugg · June 2013

car seat:
Could you include a warning that there are images of a 19 week baby who has just died? It might also be worth warning that there's some anti-choice discussion in there. I won't comment on that, but as someone who had to TFMR (and there are a lot of us here) it was a little tough to read.

Yes, I can do that. I'll edit. Sorry for that.

PinkCamino · June 2013

car seat:
Could you include a warning that there are images of a 19 week baby who has just died? It might also be worth warning that there's some anti-choice discussion in there. I won't comment on that, but as someone who had to TFMR (and there are a lot of us here) it was a little tough to read.

lurking.

All of this.

This was incredibly difficult to read and I imagine it can be potentially difficult for many many ladies here.

ETA: There are quite a few IC ladies right now who are living the danger zone of this condition. They did not need this horrible reminder today.

CameroonKate · June 2013

Pink Camino:
car seat:
Could you include a warning that there are images of a 19 week baby who has just died? It might also be worth warning that there's some anti-choice discussion in there. I won't comment on that, but as someone who had to TFMR (and there are a lot of us here) it was a little tough to read.
lurking.
All of this.
This was incredibly difficult to read and I imagine it can be potentially difficult for many many ladies here.
ETA: There are quite a few IC ladies right now who are living the danger zone of this condition. They did not need this horrible reminder today.

I have to agree with Car and Pink Camino.

That was rough for me to read for multiple reasons and I have to agree with Car about the anti-choice discussion.

I know you meant well, but I just don't think this is the best place to share the link.

Just my thoughts.

Julieturner507 · June 2013

Yeah, I admire this woman's courage to write about her experiences. It's a sweet testimony of her faith. I couldn't look at the pictures, though. I think we have all experienced far too much reality here on the PgAL board. And while I love that this mother has these photos to remember her son by, it was a little too much reality for this girl.

brandlebugg · June 2013

Sorry, ladies. I meant no harm by it. For me, I thought it was therapeutic to see the pictures. It was a testimony to the intricacies of our LOs, how even at such a young age, they are more than a ball of cells. I feel like there are so many people who've never lost a LO who look at them that way. So that's what I was thinking when I posted it, and that's what I got out of the blog.

brandlebugg · June 2013

car seat:
brandlebugg:
Sorry, ladies. I meant no harm by it. For me, I thought it was therapeutic to see the pictures. It was a testimony to the intricacies of our LOs, how even at such a young age, they are more than a ball of cells. I feel like there are so many people who've never lost a LO who look at them that way. So that's what I was thinking when I posted it, and that's what I got out of the blog.
The text bothered me a lot because women who are 20 weeks pregnant don't want to terminate their pregnancies just for fun. Those are women who are facing hell, who are looking at their wanted children and knowing that there aren't better options for these tiny humans, or realizing that their pregnancies will take their own lives.
It's unfair to expect women who have faced these decisions to look at those pictures and feel differently about their very, very difficult choices.
I had to terminate at 15 weeks because a) my son was dying, without a doubt, and b) there was a problem with the placenta that was putting my own life at risk. I regret that this happened to me and my son and my family, but I do not regret making the only decision that made sense for any of us, my son included.
But I won't pretend it doesn't hurt to hear people judge women like me without taking the time to understand why later term terminations are necessary. Her use of the word 'abortable' just about killed me.
I feel very, very sad for her and what she and her family have been through, but that was a hard thing for me to see and read.
ETA: I'm not saying that she doesn't have every right to her feelings about faith and about what happened to her. I'm just saying that those are words that are hard for people who have been in this situation that no one should ever have to face. In the same breath it commands compassion for this family's tragedy (without words) and denies compassion to women who have also lost their children later in pregnancies but had to make painful decisions in the process. That's the only reason I suggested the warning, in case that's too much for people (like me).

I'm so sorry for what you went through. IMO, what happened to you was not an abortion...at least not the way abortions are portrayed by the general public. No one should have to go through something so traumatic, and my heart goes out to you. I can only speak for myself, not the blogger, but I don't think the blogger was considering women who have to terminate their pregnancies or be at risk for losing their lives. I thought ::and I'm assuming so I could be wrong:: that it was speaking more to the abortion situation where a woman is afraid to have the baby because it will cause responsibility that she may not be ready for. Now, you can probably guess my stance on the political issue, but I would never look down on anyone who decided personally to make that choice. I want to express my deep sorrow for you. I can't imagine what it would be like to have been in your position. And congrats on your current pregnancy... I wish you a very healthy nine months and a beautiful take home baby.

CameroonKate · June 2013

As always great explanation Carseat!

I think the big issue here is that although many people say they don't view TFMR as an abortion, in the eyes of the legal system it is. That means that all those laws, bans, and regulations on abortions impact women who must make the choice to terminate for medical reasons. As Carseat already stated most late term abortions are done for medical reasons, yet lawmakers are creating more obstacles for women to get through to be able to have one.

I don't regret my decision at all. It was the hardest decision of my life. We exhausted every avenue before making the decision. If we hadn't made the decision my son would have still died and my DD might have grown up without a mother.

snickersforeveryone · June 2013

Car seat, I rarely post here, but I wanted to tell you that I was touched by what you write. I actually asked about late term termination on my home board this past week because I didn't understand what was going on politically. Their responses helped educate me, but what you wrote...I can't explain. It just made things click in my head. I didn't realize the far reaching consequences of these laws being passed.

Thank you for taking the time to write something I'm sure was painful for you. And thank you again for helping me understand a little better.

DebateThis · June 2013

CameroonKate:
Pink Camino:
car seat:
Could you include a warning that there are images of a 19 week baby who has just died? It might also be worth warning that there's some anti-choice discussion in there. I won't comment on that, but as someone who had to TFMR (and there are a lot of us here) it was a little tough to read.
lurking.
All of this.
This was incredibly difficult to read and I imagine it can be potentially difficult for many many ladies here.
ETA: There are quite a few IC ladies right now who are living the danger zone of this condition. They did not need this horrible reminder today.

I have to agree with Car and Pink Camino.
That was rough for me to read for multiple reasons and I have to agree with Car about the anti-choice discussion.
I know you meant well, but I just don't think this is the best place to share the link.
Just my thoughts.

Yes

I don't particularly find it inspirational that this blogger used her personal experiences to judge everyone else's lives...and seeing that at 22w (previability) was definitely something I could have lived without.

ETA: And car, as usual, is spot on. ((Hugs)) lady.

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