Just curious...

supermorena · June 2013

Do you talk about your TTC troubles with anyone or keep it private? If you do talk about it, who do you tell and how much of the details do you share. If you keep things private, what's your go-to response when people ask you about babies?Just wondering how different people handle the feeling of isolation that not telling can create without opening a can of worms about your private matters. Thanks for sharing!

hope2bmom83 · June 2013

We were keeping it private, I initially only told my best friend who was starting Clomid the same time as me. She is now 6 months and I am still trying. Since then we did decide to tell our parents. I think if you need someone other than your husband it is fine to pick one, but you have to make sure they are trust worthy enough to keep your secret. Sometimes I want to tell people, but I dont want people constantly asking me about it. I am 29 turning 30 next month, and when people ask us we just say well, we're still young we have plenty of time. It normally gets them quiet pretty quick.

Mochadoodle · June 2013

I talk about it with DH (obviously), my mom, and my younger sister. I feel comfortable discussing any and all details with them. My mom sometimes give me silly advice, but I just try to let that go.

DH's family is aware of our trouble TTC, but I don't talk about it with them. If they brought it up... I'd probably be very open about it. They usually go to DH if they want to know how it's going.

ccollins06 · June 2013

We keep it to close family and a few trusted friends. I also sporadically attend my local Resolve group. I am a very private person, and don't think I would handle it well if I constantly had a bunch of wellmeaning friends and colleagues asking, "how are things going?" I think it would also put added pressure on treatment cycles. When we did our IUI last year we didn't tell anyone for that reason.

As for the general "when are you two going to have babies?" question, I think it's downright rude and remind them, "you know, that's not entirely up to us." It usually shuts them up pretty quick.

novelblessings · June 2013

We have told a couple people about what is going on. My mom knows, a couple close girlfriends, and one co-worker. DH has told a couple close friends and a co-worker who has gone through a similar experience. It is nice to be able to talk about it to someone when I need to and everyone is pretty supportive and respectful, except my mom (long story here).

As for other people asking about when we will be having kids, I don't think anyone has asked us in a long time about it. I get hints here and there from my MIL, but I brush it off because she is unaware of our situation.

formerwigirl · June 2013

Sadly I overshare because I've found by talking about it that I have connected with others who have gone through it. I found out plenty of people I know actually had problems and it brings me a bit of comfort to know these people understand what I am going through. I still get lots of "just relax" and such too which is why I started a blog.

JuneBug629 · June 2013

Isolation is the right term to use, it sucks. I have told my mom and that is it. it is hard not to tell anyone, as I usually give all details about everything. I think I'm in denial it is taking us a long time, so I don't want to share. I told my mom so that I can vent a little, but still don't share all the frustrations between my husband and I have with it. I haven't told others, because I don't want them asking either. Good luck with everything.

STBMrsMiller · June 2013

DH and I each have two close friends that we've confided in. Of those four, only one lives close enough to see in person on a regular basis, so we don't feel like we are constantly asked about it. We don't feel comfortable telling our families yet, because we know they would have opinions on our journey and we want to make our own decisions.

RunCC37 · June 2013

I'm an open book with those who are genuinely supportive and interested in my well-being. My parents, MIL+H and FIL+W all know, though they don't ask much about it. I've told several of my closest girlfriends, and I find it very helpful to have them all praying for us. Plus, it helps to spread out the burden so that I'm not constantly leaning on the same person.

Twinkie0612 · June 2013

I am becoming more and more open about our IF. As far as what to say to people, I have decided that if you are going to ask me an uncomfortable question like when we are going to have children, then I will tell you about my IF and I don't care if it makes you uncomfortable. If you give me advice, or tell me to relax, I will punch you in the face.

ETA: I might get to put my plan into action tomorrow. I just remembered I have a baby shower to go to, and I have nosy aunts and cousins (all of which are super fertile) ::sigh::

princessisadora · June 2013

At this point in time I don't share. It's still pretty raw and I am not past the point that when talking about it if my thoughts get away from me into what if scenarios I will burst into tears. Already happened at my OB/GYN right before my annual visit when she asked how are things going! Way to start the Pap smear right.

supermorena · June 2013

Thanks for all the great responses. Initially we were keeping things very private, not telling anyone we were TTC. I stupidly expected it to happen right away for us. 15 months later, that is clearly not the case. Once we started seeing doctors and getting testing done, we decided to open up to our parents. They have been mostly helpful, with an occasional insensitive remark or "helpful" advice (did you guys know that avocados boost fertility?!?). I'm glad I can talk to my mom about it now and considering opening up to a close friend or 2 as well. In the meantime, thank goodness for my hubby! Not sure how he puts up with me the days I'm an emotional basketcase...

Just curious...

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