Unclench
AllieSchur
member
So I am new here. I've been posting for a little less than a week and lurking for about two. I mostly respond and people might start to recognize me if I could ever get my siggy to save. (which I cannot, I keep hitting save and it never shows up), but I digress, at first the board seemed really intimidating and I am glad that I found the blog and took the time to read and lurk.
I called this unclench because I realized tonight that I spend most of my days clenched. I am readying myself for the punch I am always expecting; that one damn diaper commercial with the f---ing newborn baby smiling, or the pregnant woman behind me in line at giant eagle, or a causal stroll through facebook, which can send me into a tailspin.
I am always ready. on guard. Waiting for the giant pregnancy/baby punch to land smack dab in the middle of my stomach. It is really nice to come here and let go.
Unclench.
I have begun to understand why things are they way they are here, and I just wanted to say that it is much appreciated.
Re: Unclench
(((hugs))) Allie. It's good you are recognizing that you are doing this. We can't live in a vacuum that is completely devoid of pregnancy, babies, etc. It does get easier.
And the save feature for siggies is a PITA. It truly is just hit save over and over and over again.
The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
TTC since April 2012
BFP #1, 10/03/2012 - EDD 6/15/2013 - MMC 11/15/2012 - D&C 01/04/2013
BFP #2, 04/06/2013 - EDD 12/17/2013 - MC 04/19/2013
6/12/2013 Diagnosed with Balanced Translocation (12 & 16)
IVF #1 with PGS: 10/2013: Canceled 9/27/2013 for issues with genetic lab
IVF #1.5 with PGS: 11/16/2013: Canceled. 11 eggs retrieved, 9 mature & 9 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
IVF #2: 1/22/14: Canceled. 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 7 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
IVF #3 with PGS: 5/10/2014: Switched to FET in July. 10 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized, 2 healthy embryos!
FET #1: 7/31/2014: Transferred 2 nearly perfect (6AA, 6BA) healthy embryos- BFFN
Laproscopy: 10/2014: Healthy uterus
IVF #4: 12/8/2014: Canceled. 17 eggs retrieved, 15 mature, 10 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
Everyone welcome on my posts
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
TTC #1 since June 2012
Current Status: IVF with ICSI and PGS
Genetic, RPL, SA and Fertility testing = Normal/Good HSG = All Clear
BFP #1 12.30.2012 || Blighted Ovum 02.05.2013 || D&C 02.11.2013
BFP #2 09.10.2013 || c/p 09.12.2013
BFP #3 12.1.2013 || mm/c 01.15.14 || D&C 01.21.14 chromosome abnormality
May 2014: Residual HCG and retained tissue found
05.13.2014: Hysteroscopy D&C to find and remove retained tissue
June 2014: Tissue sample results indicate a partial molar pregnancy
May - Aug 2014: TTA for monitoring and testing
08.21.2014: Hysteroscopy to remove minor scar tissue - the result of 3 D&Cs
Sept/Oct: IUI #1 Femara + Bravelle + Ovidrel = BFN
Oct/Nov: IUI #2 Femara + Ovidrel = BFN
Nov/Dec: IUI #3 Femara + Bravelle + Ovidrel = BFN
My Ovulation Chart || *~*~All AL Welcome~*~* || DIY Blog
2013: BFP #1 - M/C 3/13
2015: Dance break = got healthy
7/2016: IVF #5 = BFP!!!
DX: Septate Uterus. Septum resection 6/4/13
dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010
<dream 2> 12.2011
2.10.12 : 4 weeks
6.17.12 : 10 weeks
10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days
12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day
4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days
10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days
4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day
6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative
</dream 2>
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***All always welcome!!***
I'm sorry you're here. I'm mostly a lurker, but I feel the same way. Sometimes, It's "unclench" in real life. And sometimes I even feel that way about things on here (sorry, ladies!)... I saw something on the TTC board about a week ago that I'm STILL annoyed at... but I didn't respond, because... "UNCLENCH"... I feel like if I relax and "unclench", I can at least control my OWN feelings. It's good advice.
TTCAL Siggy Challenge: "He's my favorite. His birthday is the same as mine almost"
Missing my little one lost at 9 weeks on 2.24.13. brokenhearted but not broken...
d&c 5/21/13... Still Healing, Still Standing...
MMC discovered 10/2/2013, TWINS... d&c 10/7/2013. I still miss you, little ones.
Surgery December 2013 to remove a 10+cm fibroid... Open myomectomy. Benched for 3-9 months...
Will TTC summer Summer 2014 we hope!
Dear God, Since I couldn't hold my little one in my lap and tell him about you, could you hold him in your lap and tell him about me?
PgAL and PAL always welcome...Thanks ladies! Everyone has been so wonderful!
I am working on my siggy but I think it might have to wait till tomorrow, I need a drink and to catch up on some really bad reality tv!
TTC since October 2012
BFP#1 1/11/13, EDD 9/19/13, M/C at 9wk6dy
BFP#2 11/12/13, DS born 7/28/14!
Chart
Everyone is welcome
THE DARK SIDE IT IS
and GBCB
BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia
BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
~All AL always welcome~
BFP#1 9/5/12, MMC, MC confirmed 10/9/12,
D&C 12/12/12 BFP#2 7/30/13, EDD 4/12/14, DS born 4/14/14
All of this. ::hugs:: I'm sorry for your loss.
All of this.
It's really difficult and we've all been there. Some days these sort of things bother me while others I can handle it. I realized months ago that I wasn't doing myself any good by always being on guard like you say. It was time to accept the fact that regardless of my best efforts to stay away from everything baby - life goes on around me kwim?