Gift card only baby shower??

Hopeful3434 · February 2013

My sister is pregnant but has just recently moved to another state. She would like to have a gift card only baby shower since it will be hard for her to transport gifts. I understand where she is coming from but I suggested that she register anyway because friends and family knowing her situation will understand to ship large gifts directly to her. It is a 10 hr car drive if we should come into a situation.

I have never heard of a gift card only shower, are these what people do now? I think it is tacky like saying please give me money so I can buy my own stuff. Any advice would help. Thanks.

PunkyBooster · February 2013

Rude.

526SadieSadie · February 2013

I literally facepalmed just reading the title.

And my hand stuck to my face from the tackiness.

1. Sister cannot dictate anything about her own shower.

2. People aren't stupid. They won't buy her tons of big bulky things knowing she has to transport them home.

2a. If anyone buys a big item off her registry, she could return it for store credit and re-buy it from her local store rather than lug it home with her (on an airplane, I assume?)

2b. People might buy big box items from her registry and ship them to her home.

PinkLillyLover · February 2013

It's tacky. You need to tell your sister that she can't dictate how other's spend their money.

BrianaSimons · February 2013

Thats pretty much saying your gifts will suck so just give me some cash

Unknown · February 2013

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duffmaker · February 2013

So tacky... you might as well just pass a bucket around the room asking for people's wallets.

A registry includes info to ship a gift, she could even add a note on it that requests large gifts be shipped directly to her home.

Helenahhandbasket · February 2013

OP, sounds like you "get" it.

I would gently explain to your sis why you do not feel comfortable hosting this type of shower.

Good Luck!

mben1119 · February 2013

Tacky.

Hopeful3434 · February 2013

Thank you ladies for agreeing with me!! I told her as gently as I could that I felt that was rude and tacky. Of course she is upset with me and doesn't want a shower at all now. We will have to see. Thanks!

526SadieSadie · February 2013

Well if no one offered to host one for her, she wasn't getting one anyway...

Unknown · February 2013

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526SadieSadie · February 2013

MandJS:

Hopeful3434:
Thank you ladies for agreeing with me!! I told her as gently as I could that I felt that was rude and tacky. Of course she is upset with me and doesn't want a shower at all now. We will have to see. Thanks!

I'm assuming from all of this that you are her hostess. If she is planning her own, then that's another level of rudeness. But if you are her hostess and she told you she doesn't want one at all, then tell her great, you have better things to do with your time and money, and that's that. She doesn't get a shower.

FFS. Your sister wins the tacky award.

Absolutely. When a guest of honor pretty much says it's her way or the highway, the highway is usually the better option. She can't bully anyone into doing it her way.

Hopeful3434 · February 2013

Thank you ladies I was feeling bad there for a minute but now I know better. She will have to find someone else to put up with her.

1026pumpkin · February 2013

You are totally correct that most guests will have the good sense to ship large items or bring small items, and she could always return something and repurchase later if it were a big issue. Telling people to bring gift cards is incredibly tacky.

amberyintar · February 2013

Hopeful3434:
Thank you ladies for agreeing with me!! I told her as gently as I could that I felt that was rude and tacky. Of course she is upset with me and doesn't want a shower at all now. We will have to see. Thanks!

Yeah, I'm kind of sad she doesn't get it! Boo. It is definitely a tacky idea. I think you did the right thing letting her know.

TX-Bride · February 2013

My host suggested that to only ask for GC and I said "NO WAY!!! We are registering!" I knew she meant well, but I would personally not go to a shower if it was GC only!

Cranang · February 2013

I like the idea of sending her here!!

[Deleted User] · February 2013

Blech. Good for you for trying to redirect her in a nice way. I'd probably lose my filter at that point and tell her how tacky that really is! Hopefully she comes around!

Gabbabridge · February 2013

I have received several invitations to showers where the MTB also lived far away and was flying in for the shower. The hostess requested that gifts be shipped to either the MTB or a family member who lived in the same area and that we simply bring a card with a picture of the gift. I have never thought twice about this arrangement; it makes perfect sense to me.

MzCurnett8886 · February 2013

I have several friends back where we're stationed and they're smart enough to ship it where I am, why wouldn't your/her friends? Gift card only showers are tack-tackstic. Most people will understand her situation and some may want to give her gift cards, others may want to give her an actual gift and she can't dictate that.

You sound like you know this, slowly steer her away from this. The guests will thank you for it.

RibbitGrl930 · February 2013

MandJS:
Gabbabridge:
I have received several invitations to showers where the MTB also lived far away and was flying in for the shower. The hostess requested that gifts be shipped to either the MTB or a family member who lived in the same area and that we simply bring a card with a picture of the gift. I have never thought twice about this arrangement; it makes perfect sense to me.
Guests are not stupid. They know (presumably) the guest of honor and therefore know she is not local. I would do this for someone anyway. Being TOLD to do it is ridiculous, rude, and tacky. And it might make me do the opposite out of spite.

Precisely. It would be one thing for the hostess to spread by word of mouth that, due to her having recently moved, gift cards may be more convenient. However, dictating that as the gift is quite rude.

LaineyPaney · February 2013

Yes it's rude...
Here's another idea: the big gifts that are given at the shower and are on her registry, if its a logistics question about getting the stuff back to her home 10 hours away, you return the stuff to the local store by the shower, get the store credit, and then go get the same items at your home store using your store credit.

guilletskichuk · February 2013

I was invited to a a double shower recently for two colleagues of mine. The invite mentioned that the one mom was hoping to receive girl clothing in sizes 9 mos+ and that the other mom was hoping to receive GCs. While I didn't mind the clothing suggestion, I was put off my the request for GCs. I wasn't able to go to the shower in the end anyhow but I still got presents for both moms/babies. I'm curious to know if they actually got the items "requested". Ugh.

ETA: I should mention that both moms are local and would not have had to travel with any of the gifts they received.

rhubarb123 · February 2013

526SadieSadie:

I literally facepalmed just reading the title.

And my hand stuck to my face from the tackiness.

1. Sister cannot dictate anything about her own shower.

2. People aren't stupid. They won't buy her tons of big bulky things knowing she has to transport them home.

2a. If anyone buys a big item off her registry, she could return it for store credit and re-buy it from her local store rather than lug it home with her (on an airplane, I assume?)

2b. People might buy big box items from her registry and ship them to her home.

thisiseverything · February 2013

Neither of my showers are in the city where I live - one is two hours away the other four hours. On two separate occasions, I have had family members (my SIL and Aunt) note that they'd encourage people to get us gift cards so we don't have to "lug" things home. I was horrified at the thought and took the opportunity to politely note that DH and I would appreciate gifts in any form and didn't feel comfortable with a suggestion being made to others. While I know they have good intentions, I'd feel so badly if people thought it was me and DH who were requesting it - I just couldn't imagine telling others how to spend their money!

twinmommy2bee · June 2013

Well I am in the same predicament. I am a Texas native and my husband and I live in VA (20hrs away) because of the Navy. I am doing a shower in TX when I am 5 months and I will not be making a 20 hr drive so that we can pack gifts back to VA. We are doing gift cards only do to travel arrangements. My guests do have the option to order off our registry and ship it to our home as well. Maybe if you add this option people will think it is not as "tacky". At least they will have to select a gift your sister has picked. I hope this helps.

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