Lurker with a question

christina_williams · June 2013

Hi! I'm a lurker coming out of hiding to see if anyone on this board can help me find a quote/saying... It's something along the lines of "Don't become so consumed with raising the perfect child that you forget the one you already have." I love the sentiment and find that I need to remind myself of this often. I'd like to find the exact original wording. I figured if anyone could help me, it would be you ladies.

Thanks in advance!

BumbleBee9311 · June 2013

Have you read welcome to holland? It is your sentiment exactly! It's a beautiful poem.

christina_williams · June 2013

BumbleBee9311:
Have you read welcome to holland? It is your sentiment exactly! It's a beautiful poem.

No, but I will definitely look it up! Thank you!

christina_williams · June 2013

christina_williams:
BumbleBee9311:
Have you read welcome to holland? It is your sentiment exactly! It's a beautiful poem.
No, but I will definitely look it up! Thank you!

So, I read it and now I am crying at my desk. Thanks a lot.

BumbleBee9311 · June 2013

I'm sorry! It is beautiful though right?!

christina_williams · June 2013

It is. I loved it.

Assembly_Reqd · June 2013

I have heard this quote before and have no idea where it comes from.

I "get it", but I am somewhat pissed off by it at the same time.

I am constantly aware of the child I already have. I am not trying to make him perfect. I am trying to make him functional.

thefuturemrskudla · June 2013

That quote applies to all parents, not just those of us who have children with special needs.

christina_williams · June 2013

For me, it resonates so much, because I easily get caught up with comparing my son to our friends' children or children at daycare. DS has gross motor delays and I often become so preoccupied with wanting him to be hitting the same milestones and trying to "teach" him to crawl, walk, etc.

I have a hard time letting go of this corny captain-of-the-football team, class-president, ivy-leage-graduate vision...So I have to stop myself and say "Wait a second, that's probably not would I would have wanted for him anyways! And very well may not be what he would want for himself, delays or not."

We are not attracted to perfection in this life. We're attracted to happiness and authenticity. I just want my son to be happy and authentic.

christina_williams · June 2013

thefuturemrskudla:
That quote applies to all parents, not just those of us who have children with special needs.

I very much agree. I'm still looking for the original quote, by the way.

zoeyandsummersmom · June 2013

I like this follow up to Welcome to Holland too..

https://babypelly.livejournal.com/97493.html?thread=228309

DixieNormous330 · June 2013

I love Amsterdam International. The author, Dana Neider writes "Uncommon Sense" and talks at length about the joys and trials of having a special needs child. She's really open about how it's wonderful and heart breaking all at once. She's one of my favorite reads.

august06mom · June 2013

dcmetrobride:
I like this follow up to Welcome to Holland too..

https://babypelly.livejournal.com/97493.html?thread=228309

Thank you for sharing this. The part about the partner resonated deeply with me. I'm afraid to share my fears with DH because I don't want him to be afraid. I feel like I have to be Zen about this whole thing because it will do no good to have both of us panicking.