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My daughter told me I drink too much wine- ouch!

sweetsunnycsweetsunnyc member
in Working Moms

I am a one glass of wine a night with dinner type of drinker- occasionally two, but that's it. This has been the way that I unwind after work for so long that I have never really put much thought in to it. Last night my DD (5) looked at me and said I wish that you wouldn't drink wine. OUCH! It made me paranoid and I started to feel very guilty. And then I started thinking, it's the only vice that I have. We live a super healthy lifestyle and I have never been drunk around my kids and I truly never drink more than a glass or two.

Just wanted some advice on how to handle this. Any one else out there ever been called out by their kiddos? Just feeling like a crap mommy today :(

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Re: My daughter told me I drink too much wine- ouch!

  • sweetsunnycsweetsunnyc member
    I did ask her why and she said because she just doesn't want me to. Then she said because it can interrupt sleep patterns which she must have heard from school or tv or something. It was very weird.
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  • sweetsunnycsweetsunnyc member
    Yes- she has been in camp. Today is actually her last day. I didn't even think of that- her teacher may have mentioned something about it- or maybe a classmate. It's more of a fun summer camp- crafts, treasure hunts, plays, but I guess that could be a possibility.
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  • *sparky**sparky* member

    imagemrsdelcastillo:
    I did ask her why and she said because she just doesn't want me to. Then she said because it can interrupt sleep patterns which she must have heard from school or tv or something. It was very weird.

    Yes, this is strange from a 5-yr-old.  I am guessing they must have been having discussions in school about this, although 5 seems young to cover this topic.  Kids are very literal and black and white so understanding the difference btwn moderate v. heavy drinking can be tough.  I would suggest you talk to her about this a little more tonight.

     

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  • aglennaglenn member

    imageLibraryChica:
    You mentioned that she's been in camp recently, yes? Do you think they have done anything on drugs and alcohol? I ask because in elementary school I came home in hysterics after watching a musical on the dangers of drugs, alcohol and tobacco and was very distraught that my parents, who both smoked, were going to die horribly any minute. Obviously smoking isn't the same as the occasional glass of wine, but a kid may not see the difference.

    I had a similar experience to this in relation to my mom's smoking.  Kids are super literal and can't really distinguish one drink from drunk, so she is probably just concerned due to messages she's receiving in school.

    This is a good reminder to me because I do the same glass-of-wine-with-dinner a few nights a week.  I probably should switch that to after bedtime now that DD is getting older.

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  • mexicolombianamexicolombiana member
    Next time drink your wine in a dark coffee mug :)




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  • Karla CSKarla CS member

    Probably a misguided message about alcoholism.. I once freaked out and cried to my mom because my babysitter would always drink and drive and that she could kill me or get arrested for doing it. After digging into the problem, my mom sat me down at let me know that it's perfectly legal and acceptable to drink coffee while driving. 

    Maybe she just needs you to explain the differences? 

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  • IblamethebeerIblamethebeer member

    ... she's also the one who doesn't like her new nanny, right? 

    I would make sure there's no connection (either nanny drinking or talking about drinking with the kids, or nanny ranting about alcohol a lot). 

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  • skyejoskyejo member

    imagemexicolombiana:
    Next time drink your wine in a dark coffee mug :)

    I like the way you think ;)

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  • iverske9iverske9 member
    If she was in Europe everyone would...I would take it with a grain of salt. She will tell you that you are ruining her life when she is fifteen and she wants to date a 24 year old Indy rocker, LOL jk. As long as you are not getting wasted I do not see a problem. I like a glass of two during the week :-)
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  • sweetsunnycsweetsunnyc member

    This is a good point- I do often say things like "I'll play when I'm done eating/talking" She may be associating wine with not getting my attention. I will need to be more conscious of what I say.

     And that's also a good suggestion about writing it all down. I don't think that I drink excessively, but as I had mentioned before, it's such a routine I don't give it much thought.

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  • sweetsunnycsweetsunnyc member
    LOL! Good suggestion :)
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  • KJKNAJKJKNAJ member
    When my oldest was about 18mths, she was playing with her tea set pouring DH and I drinks. As she poured into 2 cups, she went "daddy: coffee, mummy: wine", lol.

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  • azuremamaazuremama
    imageKarla CS:

    Probably a misguided message about alcoholism.. I once freaked out and cried to my mom because my babysitter would always drink and drive and that she could kill me or get arrested for doing it. After digging into the problem, my mom sat me down at let me know that it's perfectly legal and acceptable to drink coffee while driving. 

    This is awesome. 

    OP, I wouldn't worry about it.  I might say something about it's okay for grownups to have a drink sometimes, but otherwise, I would just chalk it up to a misinterpreted conversation she heard somewhere else.

    When DS was about 2, he told his daycare teacher that he wanted her to take him to the liquor store.  He'd only been like twice, so I have no idea why he brought that up, other than that he really liked all the colored bottles.  I was so embarassed.  She still laughs about it.

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  • boogerbearoriginalboogerbearoriginal member
    Sounds like she heard someplace, school, other kids, who knows, that drinking is bad. And like PPs mentioned, kids are very literal and don't get the idea of moderation. So perhaps have a little chat that it's ok for an adult to have one glass of wine with dinner. And see where that goes. She may end up explaining more why/where she is getting this "no wine" thing.


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  • KariB509KariB509 member
    My question is why would your 5 year old daughter even ask you that?  I wouldn't think a 5 year old would know the difference so did something place that idea in her head?  If so, I think that's the bigger issue.  To me, I don't think you drink too much.  Tell her that mommy enjoys wine and one or two glasses a night isn't too much.  And don't feel like a bad mother--wine is wonderful! 
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