Next Time — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Next Time

We will not be telling parents next time for a while. The first time we told parents immediately, family and close friends after a few weeks. This time we only told parents. But my mom and my MIL seem to be having a harder time with it than we are. My mom is asking a million questions that I don't have answers for and my MIL has been crying as much if not more than me.

Don't get me wrong I'm happy to have people that care but its just alot so next time parents will not be being informed until we know more. Is that crazy? I loved sharing this with my mom and being excited together but seeing their pain makes mine worse or harder or something. Am I being selfish?

Re: Next Time

  • We were waiting for my mom's birthday to tell her (its tomorrow.)  Had a shirt made for my son to wear.  Which now breaks my heart when I see it...  I don't think its selfish at all.  I havn't told them what happened to me for 2 reasons, one I'm not sure I can deal with their grief on top of my own, and 2 I want them to be surprised when it happens and sticks.  I don't think it is crazy or selfish.  Hugs!

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  • No, not at all!!  It's completely up to you when you tell people the news.  It's just my opinion, but I think doing whatever brings you the most peace of mind is best.  I know we'll be doing the same.  If I get pregnant again we've decided to keep it to just us until 2nd trimester.  (Aside from posting on the 1st trimester or PgAL boards of course for continued support and good community...again, for peace of mind :)).
    Began trying for a baby January 2012
    BFP 4.25.2013  EDD 1.3.2014  MMC 6.3.2013  D&C 6.19.2013
    BFP 11.3.2013  CP 11.6.2013
    BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014 
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  • I don't think you're being selfish at all. My parents and DH's parents all knew and after our loss I just felt smothered by everyone. Im also going to wait next time.
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  • I agree, I dont think that I will tell people like I did before...I mean its nice having support...but I dont like everybody hurting either... 
  • Next time I will wait longer. The pain of telling everyone was awful. I would rather suffer through pregnancy symptoms quietly than have to go through telling people again.
    27 y.o. Married since Sept 12.

    BFP 5/20/13  m/c 6/27/13
    We will be TTC starting in August.

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