a few thoughts, ramblings
mrst9
member
After a few m/c and complicated first trimester with this one, I am pretty sure I won't be trying for any others. (At least none that I will carry myself. Adoption is a maybe.)
For me, the truth is that getting pregnant this time was pure luck. I had already decided that certain conception methods weren't for me and that won't change for the future. And I don't think I could actively go through the trying process again, hoping for lightning to strike twice. To much stress, too many miscarriages.
And yet, when I try to explain this to people -- and yes, they are ALREADY ASKING -- they tell me I will change my mind. Some look at me blankly. Some clearly think I am being selfish. My mother thinks it is my job a woman to get pregnant as much as I can... so that's fun.
The bottom line is I'm older than most starting a family. My husband is almost a decade older than that. We don't make a lot of money, but with both have careers. And neither of us feels a great desire to have a large family. The bottom line is that one is going to satisfy us just fine.
So, those are my random thoughts. I was relieved to see that there's a board for this here, cos I was starting to worry I was somehow alone with these thoughts.
Re: a few thoughts, ramblings
I guess if you are the Duggars..
That is insanely silly. What about a woman who doesn't want even ONE child? Those people do exist, I have a close friend who is 34 and never ever wants a kid. So she's not a woman.....? Not doing her job? If my mom ever said that to me, she's get an earful
I can't stand when people judge small families, what does it matter to them? It's not impacting their lives. Don't let those comments, questions or thoughts bother you- seriously.
Welcome
When I was pregnant people would ask that too, but they tend to shut up when I mention that I'm a type 1 diabetic.
I too have had m/c's. People get extremely inconsiderate when it comes to reproduction.
30 - Waiting to TTC#2
PCOS -Fibroids -Type 1 Diabetes
Welcome!
I don't get why anyone comments on another person's family size (at least outloud). I have a friend with seven children. And I have a friend with none, and has had many failed IVF's. They aren't more or less of a woman based upon what their uterus can or can't do.
As long as you and your husband are happy with your decisions, that is ALL that matters!
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
I'm sorry
Realize, though, that you don't owe anyone an explanation. And honestly, if people were actually saying this $hit to me, I'd know who I'd no longer be confiding in.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I sometimes wonder who is judging harder- The people who think Im mean for only having one or me for thinking what an idiot to have 2 more than they can handle... obviously.
I think being an Only is the bombdiggity.
Ha! I have a friend with two and she wants a third. She is a good Mom, but she also strikes me as someone that would be TOTALLY overwhelmed with three, yet she wants it. Just because you want more children, doesn't mean you should, you know? And that goes for having a second, or a tenth!
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
Okay, I seriously laughed out loud! I think that it is important to have your own mind and stand by the decisions that work best for your family. I know that our mothers try to influence us, but their values and beliefs don't always agree with their children's, and that is okay. When I told my mother I was not having any more children, she may have been disappointed, but she respected my choice. Don't get bogged down in the "a woman's job is to have as many babies" line. Your first priority is to be healthy and happy, and then you can have healthy relationships with your family and care for your child. So, if only having one child makes you happy, then do that!
This is why people get told on the regular that I would be selfish to have more than one