Hubby need to be at 1st appt?

kanken · June 2013

Just wondering if you ladies feel it is important for the hubby to go to the first appt? We have a class first that explains the whole process but does anything special happen at the first visit? Heartbeat? A picture that even looks like a baby? He hasn't told ppl at work yet so just wondering if it us worth him leaving early. Any thoughts would help :

Tigerlilym15 · June 2013

I think the first one is a really special one to be at. Depending on how far along you are the baby may or may not look like a baby on the u/s, but it is still really neat to be able to see it and see the heartbeat. I think its worth him leaving early. He can just say he has an appointment, it shouldn't be a big deal.

mrsseguin · June 2013

DH never came to any doctor appointments with me. He only came to the 20 week u/s for both kids.

sibby · June 2013

I've been to two appointments so far (5 weeks and 7 weeks), my DH did not come to either, nor will he be there for my 9 week appt.

At the first two all that happened was an ultrasound (the internal kind, where they stick the wand up your vagina). At 5 weeks it was just a black dot, at 7 weeks it was two blobs and 2 heartbeats. Each time I got a printout of the U/S to take home.

I did have to provide pee both times, and the first time they took some blood (the second time they sent me off with paperwork to have more blood drawn at a lab). Then it was just some basic "dos" and "don'ts" from the Dr and any questions I had. I definitely did not think DH needed to be there - he gets limited time off, I'd rather save his time for when it more important/further down the line. the first few visits are pretty basic.

CaliforniaDream87 · June 2013

It's totally up to you two. My H went to the first appt and it was special for us.

abb08 · June 2013

I think it depends on what will happen at your first appointment - every office is different, so you might want to ask yours what to expect. At my OBs office, the first appointment is really just peeing in a cup, getting weight/BP, and getting some pamphlets from the PA. I would have hated it if my husband took time off just for that. With our first pregnancy, my husband only came to the appointments where I had an U/S, and that was just fine. He did miss hearing the heartbeat for the first time, but like your husband, he gets limited time off and we wanted to save that for when our son actually arrived!

golfingdarwinfish · June 2013

DH came to the 5 ultrasounds in the first 13 weeks, met with my doctor once, and in the future will only come to the ultrasound appointments as that's where the vast amount of discoveries are made and the conversation is most pertinent to the both of us. He may come to the first of the 3rd tri bi-weekly appointments, but that would be to hear info firsthand about delivery, hospital, etc.

rowanthefrog · June 2013

I'd find out if they are going to do an u/s. If so, then yes.

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mommygrams0730 · June 2013

mrsseguin:
DH never came to any doctor appointments with me.nbsp; He only came to the 20 week u/s for both kids.

Ditto. I know if I thought it was a big deal he would come with, but I really don't care. Now with 2 kids at home it's just easier to go by myself...plus it's a bit of alone time for me, lol!!

LeannFran · June 2013

Yes. For me personally, yes. DH has been to every appointment especially after our loss. Each appointment gets me nervous and I get super controlling because I fear that I will get bad news again. I couldn't imagine getting the news that our baby had no heartbeat or had not made growth alone. It's a very personal choice,but I couldn't go to any appointment alone.

thepretzelchick · June 2013

Yes, because my OB took a detailed family medical history from both of us. I wouldn't have been able to answer questions about DH's side without him there.

PrimRoseMama · June 2013

kanken:
Just wondering if you ladies feel it is important for the hubby to go to the first appt? We have a class first that explains the whole process but does anything special happen at the first visit? Heartbeat? A picture that even looks like a baby? He hasn't told ppl at work yet so just wondering if it us worth him leaving early. Any thoughts would help :

Do we think its important? Well, to answer your question: Yes, I personally feel that it is important to involve my husband at the appointments. However, how do you feel about it? Do you want to include him? Does he want to be included? My husband enjoys going to appointments because he likes to know how we are doing. You might ask your husband how he feels about it. Some like to go and some are weirded out by it. It all depends on the husband's individual temperament.

Your child birth class explains the birthing process, but not necessarily pregnancy, by the way. So, I mean, you can always get him a book if you think he'd read it.

My husband really liked this one and he is not a reader, by any means. He found it amusing and helpful.

The baby at the first appointment can look differently depending on what week you go. Before about 12 weeks our Little Lion didn't look like anything much more than a gummy bear or a little sea horse. At 12 weeks, IMHO, it starts to look more like a baby. So it all depends on when you go. The heartbeat should be visible from 7 weeks on. You usually get some sort of print out of baby provided all is well.

Also, a consideration to have is whether or not the appointment goes well. I don't like to mention it (because I hate that its a reality for anyone) but 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Heaven forbid, but if you got bad news you might want your husband to be there to comfort you and help you make decisions when you are upset.

I consider it worth it, but not everyone does. You might want to call your doctor and ask them if they do an ultrasound at your first appointment. Its not necessarily standard and if all they have you do is give medical history then it might not be worth it for you to bring H along. Call your doctor and ask what the first appointment is like. That way you know. Its different for everyone.

KimbaleeZay · June 2013

This is #3 for us and the appts are just as special as they were for the first 2, however, at the 1st appt, there really isn't too much going on. Even the 1st u/s doesn't typically show too much. My DH will be waiting until closer to 20 weeks when we have the gender u/s to come to an appt. Plus, we're not telling the other 2 until 12 weeks so he needs to stay home with them.

mythaldo · June 2013

The first appointment isn't always exciting stuff. DH didn't come to my first one because I couldn't get a solid answer beforehand if they were going to do an ultrasound, plus I already knew my OB would switch after the first 12 weeks. They did an U/S, so I took video on my phone for him. He is planning to come to my next appointment since we will be meeting my new OB who will handle the rest of my appointments and the delivery, plus I was already guaranteed that we'd get to hear the heartbeat at that appointment.

I told him he doesn't need to be at all of my appointments to appease me, but he definitely wants to go to the big ones like the anatomy scan and major ultrasounds. We work in two different directions, so it's not always going to work out between our schedules and I'd rather do what's convenient for me anyway.

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Hubby need to be at 1st appt?

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