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Can I vent, ask for advice please!

Sept1799Sept1799 member
in Chit Chat

Good morning, 

 I am 30 years old and have two children. I have a pretty good life, a nice dh and parents close by to help with the children (when I am there, not so much for babysitting).

I move before my children were born and never made any real friends here where I am. I have tried two mom groups, one the ladies were really stuck up and real clicky even though I was in on the group from the beginning. The other one I did not really fit in and it was online from meetup and they actually said I was not a good fit. Not sure why my dd was a baby never cried at the meetup. I was fairly quiet and did not judge anyone in fact agreed with what everyone said and when I said something someone always contradicted me.

I have since tried to be friends with a woman from my dd dance class but she is having a rough time in her life, divorce, loosing friends that she doesn't  call or text. Our children had a play date once at my house and she was on her phone the entire time at my home.

 My mom made friends with these really nice ladies. They love my children. One of the ladies has a dd that is about my age that lives in the same town, she doesn't work. She texts/calls occasionally. I have seen her about 3 times in the year I known her. 

Anyway, one of these friends, (not the one with the dd) says stuff to me and my mom about me. Like your dd needs to join a moms group, you dd needs friends, she needs to go out. She needs to leave her children with their father and go out.

not that it's her business but my dd is very attached to me and cries when I leave her, she doesn't sleep when I leave her to go to the store leaving me up all night bc she wants me not her daddy. She then wakes her brother up. Is not worth it to me. I know she will change but I don't mind always being there for her, I actually enjoy it.

 

but I don't like being told that I need to do stuff.... I don't want to be mean but I don't know what to say when she is giving me stern advice.

 

i have tried all her advice and not having friends hurts and I really don't want to tell her that. I just wish she would mind her own business. But they are so good to my children that I don't want to ruin the relationship. I don't have very many people in my life. 

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Re: Can I vent, ask for advice please!

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  • Sept1799Sept1799 member
    imageSookieFrackhouse68:

    I have a "friend" who always tells me what to do.

    I no longer speak with her. I don't need someone judging my every move, even if she is nice to my kids.

    I am so sorry you're having a hard time. We're here if you need to talk! <3

    thanks, I appreciate that 

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  • scoutkatescoutkate member
    Just based on you've said, I'm inclined to think that she is saying these things from a place of concern, not judgement.  And she may not realize that her advice is unsolicited if, for example, your mom has asked her for advice on your behalf.  I wouldn't say anything to the friend, but maybe let your mom know that you are happy with the way things are and don't need or wish to make any changes. 
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  • Sept1799Sept1799 member

    imageOnederful Mother:
    I'm so sorry that you're going through this. What area are you in? I'm always looking for new mommy friends! 

    thanks, I am in Florida, near daytona beach/st Augustine location  

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  • Sept1799Sept1799 member

    imageOnederful Mother:
    I'm so sorry that you're going through this. What area are you in? I'm always looking for new mommy friends! 

    thanks, I am in Florida, near daytona beach/st Augustine location  

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  • Sept1799Sept1799 member

    imagescoutkate:
    Just based on you've said, I'm inclined to think that she is saying these things from a place of concern, not judgement.  And she may not realize that her advice is unsolicited if, for example, your mom has asked her for advice on your behalf.  I wouldn't say anything to the friend, but maybe let your mom know that you are happy with the way things are and don't need or wish to make any changes. 

    i am sure that is what it is. I guess I don't want to explain myself to her about why things don't work for me the way that she thinks they should. I don't want to tell her I tried to do the whole mommy group and it was a failure, to embarrassed to be honest.

    It hurts that every time I have tried to get to know people and it doesn't work I don't ant people to tell me over and over again after I say, I like my life. 

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