I laid by my son?s bed and cried this morning?

starrdiva211 · June 2013

Hi There!!!

Well, it seems as if I will be joining the ranks of single parenthood. I didn?t intend to be here, I fought tooth and nail not to be but alas, it seems like it is going to be so.

A little back ground on my child?s father and I, we have dated for three years, a year and a half of those years have been serious and we were engaged for a year (maybe less depending on when you look at things officially fell a part). I guess you can say it has been a very tumultuous relationship from the beginning (break ups to make ups that?s all we did). In his eyes, I haven?t just ever lived up to being the good girlfriend/fianc?e? and do not do much to please him and never will. I have just allowed him to be Mr. Perfect and take full responsibility for the demise of the relationship. He has asked me to leave a number of times but I have stayed to get better, to improve to show him? but he told me that bridge is burned. The next thing left for me to do is find myself and our son a respectable place to stay.

Our son is 9 months old but was born 10 weeks early. He was in the NICU for 55 days and it was a rough period for us. I thought once he came home and everything calmed down, we would get better but that hasn?t been the case. I have felt alone for awhile in the entire parenthood thing but I know it is not being alone?.Now I am about to be alone.

Last night I laid by my son?s bed and cried. I told him that I was sorry that Mommy couldn?t make it work with Daddy, that I couldn?t keep our family intact and asked if he could forgive me since he wont be seeing Daddy almost every day like he does (Dad is an Over the road truck driver). I then prayed that the man above would watch over he and I and be some protection over us in this journey that is about to start. To let me know it is going to be alright?

I am scared out of my mind right now. I don?t know which way is up, down, right, left? I am just so? LOST, DAZED and CONFUSSED

Thanks for listening.

babymama619 · June 2013

I'm sorry, this sucks. However this sucks less than living in a sh!tty situation, at least in the long run. Hopefully you have friends and family you can lean on. Feel free to vent here anytime. And take this day by day, minute by minute if you need to.

inthelost · June 2013

babymama619:
I'm sorry, this sucks. However this sucks less than living in a sh!tty situation, at least in the long run. Hopefully you have friends and family you can lean on. Feel free to vent here anytime. And take this day by day, minute by minute if you need to.

completley agree with this. just take it minute by minute, feel free to vent, and don't be too hard on yourself. *hugs*

Runaway22 · June 2013

That's rough. Just breathe, and take it one step at a time. Being a single parent isn't the worst fate in the world. You'll get through this and make it work

Hang in there.

Kathy1013 · June 2013

As scary as it seems right now, you will be much happier without the drama in your life. When your happy, your child will be happy! I am newly single too and I am telling you, everything will be fine and it will be a weight lifted off your shoulders. Good luck and we're here if you need to talk!

tracy41 · June 2013

I know how hard it is, but I think you need to stop blaming yourself. It doesn't sound like this is even on you, it takes two people to have a relationship. You may not believe it now but I think you will find getting out of that toxic situation to be a load off your shoulders. I feel like I am a broken record on this board, but counseling will help you vent it out and gain some perspective so you can focus on yourself and your baby boy. And feel free to vent away here when needed!

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