Preemie check in

krwact · June 2013

I just posted this on my BMB but thought it might also be interesting to hear the perspective from AL'ers with kids of various ages.

How old is LO/ LO's?Is your LO acting more like their actual age or adjusted age?What challenges is LO facing?How has LO pleasantly surprised you lately? Do you find yourself thinking about LO's prematurity still or does it seem to be more of a footnote? Are there any other ways having a preemie is effecting you?
Hope you're all doing well and growing healthy by the day!

krwact · June 2013

How old is LO/ LO's?Malcolm is 11.5 weeks old, 6 adjusted. Is your acting more like their actual age or adjusted age? I'd have to say more like his actual age but he doesn't seem to be quite as mobile as I'd think would be typical for an almost 12 weeker. What challenges is LO facing?We're still working on getting to BF more efficiently. For now, I'm still bf'ing and pumping all day long and it's sometimes frustrating. I do weighed feedings so I know how much he's getting and I know he's capable of getting 5 oz from my breast when he wants to. He's just very inconsistent about being willing to work that hard. How has LO pleasantly surprised you lately? At his last pedi visit, he was on the growth chart for term babies! He was on the very, very bottom, but he was on it! He's been gaining like crazy and is up to 12 lbs, the little porker. Do you find yourself thinking about LO's prematurity still or does it seem to be more of a footnote? I still hink about it a lot. It has defined every aspect of our lives together since we weren't allowed out of the house or to have visitors until june16. I know that's taken a toll on my physical and mental health and probably also my marriage. Are there any other ways having a preemie is effecting you?I know I never will, but I'd still like to know why my water broke early. I'm still having a hard time accepting this altered version of our life and I worry about how it will effect his learning and development for years to come. I still can't shake the feeling that my body let him down and that he'll be paying for it for a long, long time. It's very connected in my mind to the feelings I experienced with IF and my mc. It's evolved from the early days of all-consuming guilt but it's still there and I get sad thinking I'll likely never experience a full term pregnancy.

Missa_g · June 2013

How old is LO/ LO's? They're a week shy of 15m old, 12m adjusted.

Is your LO acting more like their actual age or adjusted age? J's gross and fine motor skills are at actual age but speech is at adjusted. S's motor is at adjusted but speech is more like actual.

What challenges is LO facing? None at the moment. They both had torticollis and J required a helmet to fix plagiocephaly.

How has LO pleasantly surprised you lately? J's receptive language has skyrocketed which is really neat to see. S's motor skills have exploded.

Do you find yourself thinking about LO's prematurity still or does it seem to be more of a footnote? It's always there and always will be. I am a totally different person than I would have been.

Are there any other ways having a preemie is effecting you? I'm a huge germaphobe and am about to start anti anxiety meds to help. After a year on lockdown it's really tough to go out and expose them to germs. We were told time and time again that an upper respiratory infection would result in another hospitalization so I have panic attacks anytime they are around other kids or germy things.

mikeANDjen448 · June 2013

How old is LO/ LO's? 4weeks on Monday. She was due to be delivered by c-section on Monday, actual EDD was July 7th. Is your LO acting more like their actual age or adjusted age? I'm not exactly sure at the moment. I think she is acting like a typical 3.5 week old!

What challenges is LO facing? We are going to her ped today to make sure she is gaining enough weight. She was born at 5lb 5oz and we left the hospital at 5lb flat. How has LO pleasantly surprised you lately? She has a but if neck movement even though she hasn't had much tummy time. All she does pretty much us eat/sleep/poop!

Do you find yourself thinking about LO's prematurity still or does it seem to be more of a footnote? Yes, especially this weekend. It is very emotionally hard on me that she came early for some reason. DH doesn't really understand :/Are there any other ways having a preemie is effecting you? Not at the moment.....

krwact · June 2013

Missa_g:
I am a totally different person than I would have been.
Are there any other ways having a preemie is effecting you? I'm a huge germaphobe and am about to start anti anxiety meds to help. After a year on lockdown it's really tough to go out and expose them to germs. We were told time and time again that an upper respiratory infection would result in another hospitalization so I have panic attacks anytime they are around other kids or germy things.

This is so me. Our lockdown was "only" 10 weeks but it was emotionally challenging on every level. I was isolated at a time I probably needed people the most. Even my husband was gone for the majority of the time, either literally away for days and days or working 12-13 hour days, 7 days a week. I'm going to talk to my OB about PPD on Monday though at times it feels almost more like PTSD. Either way, I think I could be better.

The germ thing too. I posted on the preemie board last week about anxiety in taking him out in public and heard lots of reassuring words. One woman said "Every cough sounds like a gun shot". SO true.

mikeANDjen448:

Do you find yourself thinking about LO's prematurity still or does it seem to be more of a footnote? Yes, especially this weekend. It is very emotionally hard on me that she came early for some reason. DH doesn't really understand

In my experience, DH has never understood. Dealing with IF, mc, prematurity, the most I can ask from him has been empathy, not understanding. It helped me a LOT to read that the overwhelming feelings of guilt I had were totally normal for preemie moms bc talking to him about it just made me feel like a freak. I should have remembered - that's what TB is for! My EDD was also very emotional despite the pride I felt in his progress. Big hugs this weekend.

s0ulchicken · June 2013

krwact:
I just posted this on my BMB but thought it might also be interesting to hear the perspective from AL'ers with kids of various ages.

How old is LO/ LO's?Almost 7 months actual, so not quite 6 months adjustedIs your LO acting more like their actual age or adjusted age?Aubrey is pretty much hitting all of her milestones for actual age, and Av ery is slightly behind her doing the adjusted age thing. What challenges is LO facing?]Avery will have to have surgery on her eye early this fall, and she is still not rolling over on her own. I believe that she can, she just would rather lay on her back and such on her toes. She will roll to her side to get a toy, but has a significant distaste for tummy time. How has LO pleasantly surprised you lately? Both girls are closing in on 15lbs as of their last check up, and Aubrey, who was originally my longer thinner twin, is now shorter by half an inch, but is closing in on Avery weight wise. They were just 8 ounces apart! Do you find yourself thinking about LO's prematurity still or does it seem to be more of a footnote? I think about it often. After being on house arrest for almost 4 months, their prematurity never seems very "far" away. Are there any other ways having a preemie is effecting you? I am still trying to "forgive" myself for the girls early arrival. I knew logically that my chances of having preemies was likely, because we had IUGR, GD, and multiples on board, but I guess I never really came to terms with it. We were fortunate in that the girls only required minimal NICU time (two weeks) but I still had a really hard time with their sudden arrival and subsequent hospital stay. I have a hard time sharing my babies, and as such am always exhausted because I insist on doing everything for them myself. DH is helping me work on this!
Hope you're all doing well and growing healthy by the day!

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