Tell the Boss Now or in Two Weeks?

mythaldo · June 2013

I know the decision is ultimately up to me and DH, but I'd love some opinions on this.

I work for a very small company (only 19 people), but we are a busy training company that sells internationally. I am one of the only two writers for the company, and I am developing a training series with a writing deadline of January 2014 and an overall production deadline of July 2014. I'm due on or the day before Valentine's Day!

I have a close relationship with my boss; he and his wife are like surrogate parents to me and DH since we live far from our families. We've even spent holidays with him. However, he is really tight about time off for vacations and holidays since there is no one to take over my work when I'm sick or out of the office. I am concerned that I should give him a heads-up soon, especially since my company currently has NO maternity policy, so I will likely be setting the precedent if they offer anything at all. Boss-man has encouraged us many times to have kids and has suggested he'd be flexible with time off and even mentioned going part-time and/or work from home, but I'm not sure how gung-ho he'll be about these things now that my writing deadlines are set.

I just got my first U/S don't today and things are looking good. I originally planned to tell him tomorrow before he leaves for the weekend, but since I' not having really bad MS or any appointments for a while, I was thinking about waiting another 2 weeks just to better the chances that the LO will stick.

Any thoughts on this? When are you telling your boss?

Madelyn0713 · June 2013

It is up to you but if I were you, I'd wait.

I won't be telling my boss since I'm turning in my notice tomorrow (we are moving) but when I was pregnant earlier this year (m/c) I had planned to tell her at 14 weeks. We are extremely busy as well (I work in higher ed development and we are in the middle of a campaign) and I'm the only person in my office that does my job but I still wanted to be cautious and wait.

mtothep · June 2013

I also told my boss for similar reasons (few employees, family feel). I completely trust her and, if anything went wrong, I would tell her anyway. That being said, every situation is different. You, knowing your boss and work environment, and your DH will make the best call.

tfkre8ive · June 2013

I told my boss already. We're budgeting for next year right now and I had to explain why I needed money for a freelance writer for 3 projects when they are things I normally write. He's a great boss and super supportive and I figured if I had another loss I'd have to take random unplanned time off. Also I'm not a good liar.

Ultimately, you know your boss and your situation best, so go with your gut feeling. Good luck!

wheeee780 · June 2013

If you were to wait until the end of your first trimester, that would be sometime in August, right? That is still 5 months before your January deadline. I think that is more than enough time to (a) work out a schedule to ensure you meet the January deadline, (b) work out logistics on maternity leave, and (c) work out a plan to meet the July deadline. If something happens in the next few weeks that requires you to be out of the office or off your game (morning sickness, complications, etc.), then you could tell him.

So, short answer is: I would wait to tell him until after the first trimester, unless other issues come up.

You might also want to think proactively about what you would like to have for maternity leave and, prior to the EDD, a plan to be sure all your work is in order. You'll want to assure that if the baby were to come early, the other writer would be in a position to jump in and finish your work before the deadline (if it isn't already done, i.e., you move up the date to December or something).

Given that you're setting the precedent on maternity leave, you should think strategically about how to negotiate what will work best for you and your family. Good luck!

neener*neener* · June 2013

Is there any way to work more now to ensure that your deadlines are met pre-delivery? Especially since you're one of 2 writers and know so far in advance?

If it were me, I'd work my tail off to meet my deadlines as early as possible to make my maternity leave better for all involved.

mythaldo · June 2013

I could try to work later days, but I get no overtime pay or anything since I am a salaried employee. I've already been working a little late since I found out just because my concentration has been lacking, but my deadline isn't so tight that I'm worried about staying too late just yet.

mlmahaffey · June 2013

I am super close with my boss too and I was just recently debating the same issue. I am only 6 weeks along, but I decided to go ahead and tell him anyway. My thinking is, if it is weighing on your mind and you think you will feel better getting it out in the open, you should tell him. The less stress, the better. Ultimately, his decision is what it is and probably won't change between now and 2 weeks, ya know? Again, this is totally your decision, but it sounds like you will feel a sigh of relief as soon as you get it off your chest! Good luck!

P.S. My boss was over the moon for me and I'm sure your boss will be too. If he's not, he's not the person you thought he was!

eg214 · June 2013

I've been struggling with this same issue and I think most of us do.

I also work in an extremely small office for a non-profit and since we only have 3 FT employees (including myself), I don't qualify for FMLA (SUCKS!) and we don't have a maternity policy. We have high turnover and always have employed people a few years younger, so this is also going to set a precedent.

I told myself I would tell her after our ultrasound showed a heartbeat (in 13 days) to make sure all was well. Then I said, no...I will tell her now. I've been delaying it but I think I will just bite the bullet and tell her tomorrow while the other staff are out of the office.

My co-worker knows as I wanted his opinion and he feels that she will be happy for me and throw in the condition that she wants me to stay. I first intended to work through my 8th month and then take a 6-8 week maternity leave...perhaps coming back early via part time telecommute, but the stress level at work lately has been really ridiculous. SO...I'm not 100% sure of my longevity with them, but bc of the stress she is pushing on us and mention of travel that is not part of my job requirements, I think I need to just go ahead and let her know. It will be a huge weight off my back and one less person I have to spill the beans to.

You will do whatever is right for your situation and it will be the right choice.

ashybear · June 2013

I've told my 2 bosses. Like you, we're a small organization and one of my bosses is also our HR rep to our parent company, so there was basic info that I'm going to need from him and I want to have that info sooner rather than later. Also, I lead two backpacking trips each summer and I wanted to give him a heads up that if my symptoms are particularly bad, or if my doctor xnayed, that I wouldn't be able to do them.

With my other boss, we are pretty close and she had a m/c a year ago at 20 weeks and I just wanted her to hear it from me so she could process how she needs to. Plus, she was moving and I typically would be very available to help, but was just too too exhausted at 6 weeks to do anything but the minimum, and I wanted to explain that She was moving into a house on the property we all live on that my husband and I were also interested in. So I wanted to make it clear there were no hard feelings.

It's totally up to you, but since you're close with your boss, I would tell him. It will ease your mind, and give the company more time to figure h!t out. Good luck!

LetoileDuNord · June 2013

You're right, it just really comes down to what makes you feel comfortable. I don't see the harm in waiting a couple more weeks.

I won't be telling my boss until 12-14 weeks for a few reasons. I'm not close to my boss and wouldn't feel comfortable telling her about a miscarriage. I also have a co-worker who just came back from an extended maternity leave (6 months completely gone and 3 months part-time). I covered for her while she was gone and she would be able to pick up most of my job while I'm out. I won't feel like I'm putting them out when the time comes to take my leave, which will probably just be 12 weeks.

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